The Three Eggs

Its brass spires reach up to the heavens like curved blades, dainty but deadly. Like wedding rings and clockwork cogs its structures fit together in the strangest of ways, but with the most precise of designs.

Sanui. Where most of the royal family lives. The Brasen City looks out over a vast marble wasteland, the smooth tiles paved out to perfection. Not a stone out of place.

On its hallowed grounds a small figure in a fine suit is walking. Trotting, more accurately. His clothing is ermine, studded with diamonds and sequins made of rare jewels.

Reaching his dining room after his daily walk, he has breakfast. A salad of walnuts, blueberries, sardines, mackerels, anchovies, salmon, herring and grated coconut.

'For brain health,' he reminds his servants like clockwork.

The family is notable for their elongated heads. Infants have their heads wrapped tightly with wet cloth to slowly shape their skulls as they grow, this cranial modification done to honour the Gentor, official deity of the monarchy, who is both male and female.

The practice has earned them the sobriquet of 'Eggs' by the common folk.

The family crest, a dragon with pink and purple stripes, seems to watch him like a camera, making sure he is following procedure. No elbows on the table, no burping or loud swallowing, chew with the mouth tightly closed, lift the tea cup with the pinky finger raised.

When done he and his personal servant walk together to his chambers, where his niece is currently staying. She's visiting from neighbouring Sansanui, the Silvern City, her mother away on a business trip but soon to return.

'Has Eire sent any letters, Beng?'

'None, Lord Richu.'

Born Padraig, Richu-Ni-Jatin (Spirit of the Sun-disc) is his royal name. One of many masks he must don.

They approach the chambers, and open its doors to find a little girl playing with some paper and crayons, what she calls 'crawns.' Princess Brid, Lady of the Triregna.

'Uncle!'

She gets up to hug him. Beng watches from a distance.

'I've got a present for you, little seraph.'

He hands her a pen, made entirely of gold, decorated with garnets. On its stem some words in an ancient language: 'Vyayadharmaah Sarvasamskaaraah.'

He explains.

'All things fade away. The words of a wise man. The principle of existence and mutability carries with it the principle of destruction.'

She understands none of that, but takes it gratefully.

'I give this to you to remind you that change is a part of life. You'll need to keep that in mind when you become queen.'

Noting her confusion, he takes her to the window to show her the view. From where they stand they can see the other kingdoms that form the triplet cities.

'Sanui, Sansanui and Semangelaph. The Three Crowns.'

'I've heard butlers call them the Three Omelettes.'

He chuckles.

'You know why our heads are shaped the way they are?'

She shakes hers.

'We elongate our skulls to symbolize wisdom, key attribute of the Gentor. If we look wise, the common people assume we are wise. They overlook our human weaknesses, and we can rule them peacefully. Image, Brid. That's what all of this is about.'

He pats her head, not noticing his servant has vanished.

(ϡ)

Beng leaves the palace and makes his way to the slums.

Finding the hidden door amidst the cramped houses, he knocks seven times.

'All human things are subject to decay.'

'And when fate summons, monarchs must obey.'

He's let in.

A dank and dark meeting room, with a table at the centre, on which rests an image of Giolladonn, or Calu Cumaara, the god of death.

His handler, Pangur, greets him.

'Got the stuff?'

He dumps the bundles of files on the table.

'All of it. Secret entrances, unguarded areas. The motherload.'

'Good. So we can proceed with phase three.'

Phases one and two required Beng to gain the trust of the royals and work his way to the top. He grins with a froggy smile.

'The Ruddy Youth will have his vengeance. Zeylan will rise again.'

(ϡ)

Eire, meanwhile, is on her way back. She can't wait to see her daughter.

The Queen, known to her people as Naphir-Naphurau-Jatin ('Beauty of the Sun's Beauties'), has always been protective of her only child. The circumstances behind her arrival were certainly one in a million.

Years ago when she and the king, rest his soul, were trying for an heir, a white dollhouse came down from the sky on a silent night. Turns out it was a spaceship housing a small heptagram-shaped alien, who gave them two gifts: a chain of hexagonal coins that Eire has since worn as a necklace, and a one-month-old baby.

'She is a thunder god. Handle with care.'

Of course she was confused. Her friends had always joked that she was a 'goddess of love', but now it seemed she would actually have a divine family.

The next few weeks were hectic. The furniture came alive and would run rampant, objects would float around at random, and the weather was unpredictable, often rainy. Eventually things settled down, and Brid has had a normal life since.

But today, she has an ominous feeling that might change.

(ϡ)

'Napoleon wanted to be Charlemagne, he wanted to be Constantine, he wanted to be Julius, he wanted to be Alexander, and he wanted to be Achilles, who didn't even exist. Humans will always use excuses to get what they really want.'

'And this family has developed a mythology surrounding their right to rule, a fiction many of our fellow oppressed siblings have accepted.'

'Tonight this ends. Once and for all.'

They have gathered a team of mercenaries from various Dimensions:

Cocoa Shuriken. A giant sunflower starfish made of toasted cocoa beans, who can spray hot chocolate that burns through anything. Weakness: being dehydrated.

Straitjacket. Formerly Guilleret Camisole, he can stretch his skin to the point of forming parachutes, ropes, or nets to impede foes. Weakness: water.

Space Trucker. Formerly Vimala Dharmasooriya, he can teleport rapidly to various places. However, he can't choose which location he is teleported to. Weakness: peanuts.

White Room. Formerly Azirafael Crow, who can trap individuals in a chamber of pure white noise, which can paralyze or kill. Weakness: the song 'Jenny Jenkins', which makes them fall asleep.

Grand Architect of the Universe (Gaotu). A wizard who can make fairy-bread rain from the sky and summon sentient sugar-people, such as chocolate soldiers that shoot candy corn, gingerbreadmen with peppermint-candycane swords, chocolate bunnies that spit jelly beans, and marshmallow-chicks that breathe fire.
He can only be defeated by saying his name, which is 'Htoexorabaslayqciystalgaaonosvlarycekspfyomeneauarelatedatononaoylepotma.'

And the two medics:

Florence Teresa, alias Sacred Bull, who can assume the form of a cow and heal any physical injury with her milk, and Nachalat-Hatip, an alien parasite that appears as a small furry ball of cuteness that can turn into a horrific monster when angry. Their shared weakness is paprika, which makes them sneeze a lot and renders their powers ineffective.

They have also earned the loyalties of some guards from the royal military houses: Nunstueck, Slotermeyer, Beiherhund and Flipperwaldt. The guards will let them in and the mercs will do their job.

(ϡ)

Richu and Brid have lunch. Same as breakfast, with the addition of wagyu and caviar.

'Don't sip so loudly, dear. It's not ladylike.'

Brid doesn't care. She plans to make some changes when she becomes the next Paruar.

'Have you picked a dress for the party?'

The annual ball, where the richest from the Three Kingdoms come to socialize.

'I don't like balls. They're so boring and uptight.'

'But they're necessary, little pigeon.'

Dimension XVIII is the party place, where those from other Worlds can have some fun away from the consequences of their homeplanes. Richu hopes his sister will make it, as she's one of the few people he can talk to freely. The rest have sticks stuck where the sun can't shine.

(ϡ)

A little gift for the security in the ballroom:

'Slip this into their drinks. Effects take about fifteen minutes.'

The poison will cause the muscles in the body to constrict, making the victim asphyxiate, and leave them with a permanent sardonic grin in death. A fitting end to these smiling, pompous pigs.

Seven p.m. They head in from one of the secret escape passages, making their way to the central hall.

(ϡ)

Inside it's like a moon-sized diamond has exploded, scattering its crystals in every direction. Chandeliers, candelabras, white cloth everywhere. Everyone in their finest attire, like clockwork.

Richu has dyed his skin for the evening, a practice from the old world. Usually he goes with a jade green, but tonight he'll be celadon blue. The colour of prestige.

Eire has arrived in a rose pink frilly dress made with fabric from the Steelen City, paired with her signature chain necklace. Her skin is dyed purple to match her outfit.

She greets her brother with a kiss on each cheek, understanding he is not the most social of people. The room's guards have also got their nightly tea and biscuits.

Dinner is good, the usual salad with some roast turkey and potato soup. They sit at an extravagant table with plush velvet chairs, Brid eating her turkey with her hands. The guards are feeling dizzy.

'Now, darling, let's discuss your schooling...'

Gunshots silence the conversation, screams filling the air.

'On the ground!!!'

A group of mercenaries, some not human. Brid hides under the table, her mother taking a bullet to the neck.

'Eire!'

Richu crawls over to her, attempting to stop the bleeding with his napkin. The traitor walks in.

'Beng?'

'I'm sorry, Padraig. It's nothing personal.'

They close all the windows and draw the curtains. Guards loyal to the family will be here soon, so they must act quickly. Beng begins his speech, one he has rehearsed for the past six months.

'Our land, Zeylan, was once a beautiful place with abundant resources. Its cities rivalled the heavens, its philosophers and scholars unparalleled across the Worlds. But then a supposedly royal family rose to power, subjugating every smaller nation and group until they were the rulers of all.

My family, and my people, have suffered under your hands for a hundred and thirty-three years. You forced us to speak your language, eat your food, wear your clothes, worship your god. It was never enough. Our blood has soaked the ground and nourished the produce you feast on like well-fed swine. Tonight this ends, forevermore.'

Little does he know his wish has been granted, just not how he wanted. A falling star is reaching the earth, and will soon strike. Those aware have already begun evacuation to other planets. But Beng and his crew, and the hostages they have taken, are caught solely in this moment.

Either way, the New Jacobean Era has come to an end.

---

The story of the events leading up to the destruction of Earth in Dimension XVIII, a futuristic reality in which the planet was destroyed by a meteoroid on July 6, 2788 CE.