The Disillusioned Dirigible

"We go where we need to go, when we need to go there. It's essential, because someone has to and not many people want to. We will get you where you need to go, but it might cost you. Then again, it might not.

— Pilot of the Disillusioned Dirigible.

Wizarding World Travel

The Wizarding World doesn't always portkey everyone everywhere and the Knight Bus only runs around the United Kingdom (and not even all of that!). The Disillusioned Dirigible is a blimp that is far larger on the inside than on the outside.
There may be more than one, but the company that runs the Disillusioned Dirigible (which is known only to a few in the know and a few who have found out) has never admitted to there being more than one, but has never denied there being more than one.
No one has seen more than one at a time, thought.
The Disillusioned Dirigible can hold a lot of people, travel far faster than the Knight Bus (it is speculated the Knight Bus was a trial run of the spells that later went to creating the Dirigible). It travels across continents and countries, not just cities and towns.

The Rules of the Road

It seems to have diplomatic immunity, or at least benefits from the tacit understanding among most wizarding governments that is serves a much needed purpose.
The Dirigible itself is neutral territory and no fighting is allowed aboard, but arguments are often spectated, encouraged, graded, rated, broadcast on the Wireless and sometimes even scheduled in advance. The most dramatic arguments have, in fact, been invite-only or required a ticket. Legislation, treaties, entire schools of philosophy and academic theories have been created, refined and announced on the Dirigible.

Travel in Style. Or not.

There are many levels and classes of travel on the Dirigible, from hanging on for dear life in steering to officially accepted stowaways (brave souls) in cargo. Fourth, Third, Second, Business, Economy, First, VIP, Royalty, Academic, and Government Official (with a sub-section for Heads of State, known tyrants and dark lords, and other such personages who travel in the Exalted class.)
There are classes for refugees. There are classes for criminals on the run. There are classes of travel for almost every circumstance that has happened more than twice, and a few that haven't happened yet. There is a class of travel for witches and wizards who want to go on a vacation cruise, muggle family members, muggles who accidentally found the wizarding world, and even a class of travel for those people who are hiding out and just want to stay in a room that keeps moving.
There are probably other classes of travel aboard the Dirigible, but they aren't advertised and some would probably only be available upon request. But the Dirigible makes room for everyone who can pay at least something and some of those travelers who can pay nothing.
There are rumors of special travel passes for heroes on journeys and priority travel for people who need to save the world (or at least a large portion of it), but no one's really every talked about having used it.

Buy a Ticket

There is always a way to buy a ticket.

The Ticket Counter

Villages, towns, hamlets, cities - they all seem to have a ticket counter.
Usually in an airport or train station or bus depot. Most of the time, it's an enchanted door that you can only see when you might need transport aboard the Dirigible, even if you don't know the Dirigible exists.
The ticket counter is simple. A witch, wizard, or magical creature is behind a glass window and will answer questions in the native language of the region. If you don't speak that language, pantomime or a typewriter keyboard are options for communication.
Once all the particulars of travel and class are worked out, you will be handed a small slip of paper with a destination, travel class, and a price on it.
Pay or renegotiate.

Aureus (Severus II Aureus Joanneum) by © Münzkabinett, Universalmuseum Joanneum, Graz, CC BY-SA 3.0 AT

Once paid, the clerk will hand you a slip of paper with your particulars on it and a gold aureus.

This coin is your ticket.

You will be given directions to the nearest Dirigible stop. If necessary, you can pay a small fee for the coin to Portkey you to the appropriate location.

No one Apparates onto or Portkeys to the Dirigible. It's not that you can't . It's just a really bad idea.

The Dirigible is almost always moving at a high rate of speed. By the time you make it to the location of the Dirigible, it will have moved on, leaving you in mid-air to fall to your messy and untimely demise.
If you are looking for the Dirigible but aren't sure where to look, you can point your wand, staff, or rod into the sky and and use the spell Vecto to summon a ticket machine.
A golden owl will bring you a blank silver coin. This coin is a portkey that you must pay for (usually just a galleon) and it will Portkey you to the nearest ticket counter.

All Aboard!

The Dirigible stops only long enough for passengers to embark or disembark. No longer.
If you are lucky, you will arrive at a Dirigible stop in time to see the tower being set up. A crew member will appear and will set down a small model of a copper frame tower. With a tap of a wand or a silent spell, the tower will grow, pushing aside anything and everything that is already there, and not a single muggle will see or understand what is happening - unless they need the Dirigible, already know about the Dirigible, or are intoxicated or tired enough the magic isn't aware it needs to prevent them from seeing.
The Dirigible will appear and dock with the tower. Passengers will leave and an open air elevator will take them to the ground. Embarking passengers will hand the crew member their aureus and slip of paper, and then be allowed on the elevator.
As they board the Dirigible, another crew member will give back the slip of paper and the aureus, and groups of passengers will be escorted to their area.
The second the door closes behind the last embarking passenger, the Dirigible will detach from the dock, which will shrink back down to pocket sized. The Dirigible will disappear at speed and the crew member will vanish about thirty seconds later.
Every magic school and government building has a built-in Dirigible stop, even if they don't know they do. No one has ever explained why this is, but a lot of people have asked. Even more people have theories, and some of them may be right - but no one who works on the Dirigible has ever been willing to confirm, deny, or acknowledge the situation in any way that makes sense to anyone.

Travel Time

The Dirigible is fast.
It takes about two hours to circumnavigate the world if it's just going in a great circle. Travel time will vary. Express tickets (costs extra) will deliver you to your desitnation as fast as possoble, but the number of stops between embarking and disembarking isn't ever known.
The Dirigible is never empty and has never been full.
But every trip aboard the Dirigible lasts at least forty-five minutes.
When you leave the Dirigible, you give your aureus to the crew member at the exit. You can keep your reciept, if you want. But you don't have to.
There are no refunds. There is no complaint department. And no one cares if you had a safe, happy, comfortable, or pleasant flight.
They only care that you made it to your destination alive. (Sometimes, not even that.)

Accommodations

Passgeners end up sitting anywhere and everywhere. From rows of mildly uncomfortable bench seats to comfortable stateroom suites, the Dirigible can accommodate just about any kind of travel.
Passengers who are desperate enough can even travel in the luggage compartment or the cargo hold, sitting on the floor, and being thrown about the room as the Dirigible flies.
There are bathrooms that have lockers, showers, and even a hot tub - which only works if you have paid for the right travel class.
Depending on your situation, the toilets may or may not flush.

The Dining Room

The Dining Room of the Dirigible offers a vast array of food from menus, snack bars, a full bar, a wine cellar (no wine or drink - muggle or magical - has ever been found that they don't have, unless your travel class is too low.)
There is a small clothing boutique, a tobacconist, and a gift shop where you can both buy and sell.
But every passenger, regardless of their situation, is entitled to:

• A sandwhich or burger (or salad, if you're on a diet or a vegetarian.) Made to order.
• A large bottle of water
• Fries, chips, or sliced apples
• One large, incredibly delicious chocolate chip cookie

If you ever get lost on the Dirigible, just look for the Dining Room. You will find it. And you will then be able to find your way back to where you are supposed to be.

Don't Miss Your Stop

Everyone is warned: do not miss your stop.
If you miss your stop, you will be charged again. If cannot pay, and there is no compelling reason to forgive the transgression or help you get where you are going, there are unnamed and unknown consequences.
There is a rumor that most, if not all, of the Dirigible's crew members are people who have forgotten their stop and don't have the funds to pay for an extension to their ticket.
This has never been confirmed.