Campaign 2: Session 44 - The Cheeseman Cometh
Rewards Granted
Tedduch Stoutman
- Bonus XP: 60XP
- Encounter: 375XP
- Participation: 100XP
- Skills: 150XP
- Total: 685XP
Thalmun Burrowale
- Bonus XP: 30XP
- Participation: 100XP
- Skills: 60XP
- Total: 190XP
Zi
- Damage: 12XP
- Encounters: 850XP
- MVP: 350XP
- Participation: 100XP
- Total: 1312XP
Missions/Quests Completed
20th Spriarjeń 269 5E
As Ilarion Starkerow escorts Orville Wepple, Tedduch Stoutman, Thalmun Burrowale, and Zi towards his Oculary—where he has agreed to help Tedduch and Thalmun reach the outskirts of the Nexus Point at Skrejbarkaria—Zi subtly lingers behind, holding Orville back as well.
Once out of Ilarion’s earshot, Zi proposes a scheme to steal his cheese supply. Orville is initially reluctant, aware of Ilarion’s power and feeling a sense of loyalty after three whole hours in his service. However, Zi suggests that Orville could use his share of the stolen cheese to open a cheese-themed bar, an idea that quickly wins him over.
On their way to Ilarion’s Cheese Vault, they pass a pair of mastiff guard dogs, noting their inquisitive gaze and the curious runes engraved on their collars. Pressing onward, they reach a winding hallway that leads to a rune-carved door and a stone inlet connected to a chute, which Orville describes as a "cheese dispensary." They recognise protective runes guarding the dispensary and consider their options before Orville dispels them, allowing Zi to force the door open.
Zi halts just before stepping through the threshold as they find themselves at the edge of a precarious bridge. Four bridges extend toward a central dais, and as Orville and Zi assess how to cross, they notice pressure plates and sense hidden dangers. Before they can act, a Cheese Golem emerges from a pit of molten cheese below. It attacks, but Orville repels it with a banishment spell.
Zi takes flight, swiftly gathering cheese, while Orville—seeing the looming peril—abandons the heist. Zi identifies runes etched into certain wheels of cheese, recognising their danger and avoiding them. However, they soon spot the largest wheel of cheese they have ever seen, resting atop a central plinth covered in ominous runes. Ignoring the warnings, Zi seizes it.
Meanwhile, in the Oculary, Ilarion enthusiastically unravels the events of Skrejbarkaria. Tedduch Stoutman, overwhelmed, reveals that they believe that they have been reliving the same day for eight years, endlessly searching for a way to escape the Nexus’s collapse alive. Thalmun and Ilarion press for details, and Teddy explains that each reset begins when they wake up and journey toward The Tower of Szłenlancz. Ilarion finds it curious that the time loop resets outside the Nexus rather than within it—though he also suspects Teddy might simply be insane.
As they prepare to leave, Ilarion suddenly begins shouting about cheese and vanishes in the blink of an eye.
Back in the vault, Orville flees toward the door, only to be trapped by a force cage. Ilarion materialises behind him, then floats across the bridge toward Zi, stunning them with a burst of radiating magical energy. He reaches them, his body coursing with power, and grips their throat as they struggle, powerless. He warns against stealing his cheese before casting a spell that banishes Zi to another dimension.
Zi finds themselves adrift in a void, spotting distant tunnels and corridors they cannot reach. Instead, they plummet through empty space and land in a sea of molten cheese. As they struggle to stay afloat, a massive cheese kraken emerges from the depths and swallows them whole.
Ilarion returns to the now frantic Orville, accusing him of betrayal and ingratitude after such a generous three hours of employment. He promises retribution.
Rejoining Teddy and Thalmun, Ilarion presents a large toad squirming in his grasp, declaring that Orville and Zi attempted to rob him. He also blames them for bringing Zi into his home—despite Teddy’s protest that it was Ilarion himself who insisted they do so. Irritated, Ilarion initially refuses to discuss the matter but eventually agrees to negotiate a way to retrieve Zi (and, to a lesser extent, Orville).
A contract is formed: each party must complete a future task of Ilarion’s choosing—one that will not guarantee death but will be difficult and dangerous. Once the terms are finalised, Zi (provided they sign as well) will be released from the pocket dimension, while Orville will remain imprisoned for twenty-four hours before being given the same offer.
Zi is briefly transported to an interrogation chamber to sign their contract before being cast back into the kraken’s stomach, now submerged in its digestive acids. A levitating quill and contract glow before them, and Ilarion’s voice commands them to sign. The moment they do, they are transported to the Oculary—lightly burned, utterly featherless, and surrounded by their companions.
Given a blanket for warmth, Zi and Teddy follow in shock as Ilarion hastily ushers them all off for wine and cheese. The group gathers around a table, where Ilarion serves assorted wines and the scant remnants of cheese he hasn’t already devoured. Their conversation turns to Magic, particularly the theory that a being can ascend to godhood if enough people believe in them, subconsciously drawing upon the magical energy that grants them power.
Once the discussion concludes, Ilarion dismisses them, leaving his servant Ludwik to escort them from the tower.
