The King of Chaos

Killian didn't even wait for Faerinn to determine what KIND of hallucinogens were in the mushrooms before he ate the whole handful, preparing himself for the ride of his life. As the chemicals took hold, the physical and spiritual planes melded together around Killian, as a million realities flipped past like the pages of a book. Before long, McKenzie felt an all-too familiar presence in his vicinity, and he braced himself for his nemesis' appearance.


"Ahh, if it isn't…. what the FUCK?"


Asmodeus, once again in Killian's mind, found himself in a frenzied blur of chaos, his normally placid mental battlefield littered with the effects of the mushrooms coursing through Killian's system. He was nearly hit by a low-flying purple narwhal as he began to speak to Killian, but composed himself and began to approach the Tiefling, scolding him.


"You can't even keep yourself sober, McKenzie. At this rate you'll be doing the job for me, killing yourself… oof!"


As Asmodeus tries to push all of Killian's buttons, a ship's mast materializes out of the ground, jabbing Asmodeus in the stomach, and legitimately knocking the wind out of him. The realization begins to set in to both of them that this is not their normal interaction, and a sick smile spreads across Killian's face.


"Well, well, well, if it ain't the infernal cunt. Seems that your preference for gettin' in my head has come back to bite you in the ass. You can't manipulate my mind when I'm not even at the wheel, can ya?"


Killian hops from one rapidly materializing piece of debris and driftwood to another, and as he moves closer to Asmodeus, laughing as if delirious, he sees a group of squirrels leaping along with him. He reaches down and gently scoops one up, looks down at the squirrel, and asks it "hows about we give 'em what for?"


"Name's Reginald, and I'd love to. You know what to do, Captain," the little squirrel says, and Killian throws him at Asmodeus, who catches a squirrel to the face.


As Reggie produces a tiny rapier and begins poking Asmodeus all over his smug face, Killian, once again shrieking like a banshee, lunges at the Archdevil, tackling him and tumbling into a pool of oatmeal, where Killian grabbed Asmodeus by the collar and drew back his fist, before Asmodeus finally composed himself enough to focus his power and freeze Killian in place.


"You stinking little SHIT!" bellowed Asmodeus, as he drew back his clawed hand to rend Killians flesh from his pretty face, "I WILL take you to hell with me, and YOUR SISTER WILL BE MINE! AND NOW…"


As Asmodeus continued, he was drowned out by a dull rumble, as a line of cows stampeded overhead like a cloud of large mooing clouds, distracting Asmodeus for just the split second Killian needed.


"NOW SUCK MY BALLS, YA FUCK!" Killian McKenzie roared, as he broke free of asmodeus' psychic hold and punched the lord of the Nine Hells in his smug face.


Asmodeus regained control almost immediately, and flung Killian what felt like a quarter mile before he crashed into a fence made of raven skulls, but the look of abject shock on his face was worth the thrashing Killian expected to come next.


Asmodeus stepped forward, and with every random floating whisky barrel or giant silver flower that obscured him, he seemed to close the distance more rapidly. Just when Killian knew the Dark Lord was upon him….



Nothing.


Killian awoke in a clearing not far from his friends, sweating and panting, but overjoyed.


"Gotta remember to ask Fae to keep the mushrooms coming. Time to make the fucker WORK for it."