Entry 372

Cultural event

At about noon yesterday, Rory showed up outside and made what Drummond called "an unholy scene." I think we all have fantasies of lovers who will fight for us - Well.

After long enough of what could have been quite the risk of exposing the truth, I directed Rummond to just get him off the street. I returned to my room. I did not expect Rory to stay hours in the corridor outside my bedroom. When Anne showed up to check on me, Rory was still there.

She forced me to shower. While she let Rory into my bedroom.

When I came out of the shower, in the same payamas I've been wearing, Rory was standing near my desk. It could have been countless nights before but it wasn't. Everything was over. His sad smile was still so beautiful.

He had to go. It was killing me.

Then he and Anne ganged upon me and made me explain what happened. Rory is what happened. He told me he loved me and the world ended. Again they ganged up on me, Anne with same old refrain of I'll get to make the rules. ^{I think} I thought she just didn't get it, because of the freedom she has the spare instead of the heir.

And then Rory showed me something. Something meteoric and - a tectonic reorientation happened. He showed me Gran's box. She'd been telling all along. "Sebastian, you must chart your own path to the Throne. Be a good king, be kind, be merciful, be wise, be true. You have my love, always. Gran VIIR."... Chart my own course. Be true. She knew all along. God I wish I'd have told her. Rory finally started to leave as my courage finally bubbled up. I told him to stay.

When I woke up this morning the world was new and reborn. I woke with the rise and fall of Rory's breath. My head was on his chest and his arms were around me. Rory held me all night.

I have never experienced what could be heaven, but I cannot imagine anything better.

He took me to breakfast. He asked me what we are. I told him in love. I know what he meant though. And I resolved to be true. I'm going to acknowledge who I am. Who Rory is.

We accept that it will take time. We know it will be a lot of work. But we can do it. Just as we said today he is mine and I am his.

I couldn't do it years ago but I'm doing it now. I am very proud to be Rory Lewis Cameron's boyfriend. And maybe not yet. Maybe not for a while but the world will know.

I love him and he loves me. I am happy. Firm be damned.