Entry 86
Cultural event
15/10
There feels something very wrong having no diving practice or fixtures. Doctor Ferguson believes I'll be back on the platform in January at the soonest but thinks it's best to wait until June. Thatw ould make it nearly a year. I rather hate that. Unfortunately, I don't really have much of a choice.
I can feel my body changing. My strength isn't the same and I tire much easier than I used to. Alexander believes it will all come back.
Milton has been around. Apparently my accident scared him. I still don't know why he stopped talking to me. The best I got was that he'd heard Alex and I fooling around a bit. That seems a bit silly given Milton and I have fooled a bit, not that we've had any contact physically.
Speaking of physical contact, Alex and I discussed more in our own connections. We've agreed that we'd both like to try penetrative sex. I cannot pretend that I'm not both scared and excited.
I'm fully aware that this is likely a rather large mistake that will only serve to muddy my own torturous feelings but for now I'm going to let myself make mistakes. God knows my time for such mistakes is quite limited.
