Weather Report London 2085

>>>Jack Point<<<
>>>Public Service Announcement<<<
Attention Attention! There is a government warning for East London this afternoon. Acidic rain is expected to fall over Dagenham.
Attention Attention! Expect toxic vapors over Lambeth and Croydon.  A mandatory respirator order is in effect.
>>>Jacen>>> I though we were only expecting a light fog? What is this the stink fens?
Attention Attention! The algae blooms in the Thames are unfit for consumption. Please report to your local council for soy rations.
>>>Stumpy<<< But the soy is not green.
Attention Attention! Due to abnormal tides expect localized flooding from the estuary mouth to Greenwich. Do not drink the water as it may contain contaminants. 
>>>The Boy Dubois<<< I guess we now know why Mucking is called Mucking.
Attention Attention! The average daily mean temperature will be 37C. A heat advisory is in effect for all of Greater Metropolitan London. Energy  rationing will be in effect from 12:00 hours until 21:00 hours to provide energy to the Palaces and estates. Any opening of public fire hydrants will be a criminal offense with a mandatory 1000 pound fine. 
>>>Blue Anarchist<<< Piss on the rich!
Attention Attention! High ultraviolent and ozone has been reported at Heathrow. Travelers are advised to dress appropriately, wear head covering and use sunblock of 2000 spf. 
>>>Corp Watcher<<< Skin cancer has a name, it is Zeta Imperial Chemicals.
>>>Other Weather<<< The elven county of Gwynedd reports clear blues skies with the average temperature of 17C. Light clean rain after 20:00 hours.
>>>Orks and Trogs<<< Must be nice being an elf. Government support, mojo to control the weather, money  and resources. They ought to share.
>>>Blue Anarchist<<< Again piss on the rich!
>>>End of Public Service Announcement<<<
May each and every soul have a blessed and wonderful good night. God save her Majesty Queen Caroline!
>>>Creeper Jeepers<<< Not until I look at her nickers.
>>>Wally the trog<<< I will stomp you into mush, gnome.