Day 303
After our ordeal with Dawn we are all so tired that we go straight to sleep again with the exception of Magdalena, who stays awake singing. It is late afternoon when I wake again and am mid-breakfast when Magdalena emerges and comes to speak with me.
Dawn will probably wake soon and it would be good for me to be there. They're so young and had to receive about 20 years worth of memories, almost as many as they had themself. They'll need to stay grounded in this life and I can help with that. She also tells me that Dawn will likely need to return to a grove earlier than the other fae of day and night, maybe 5-8 years, but just this first time.
When I enter Dawn's hut I am stunned. They are fae-sized, fully fae with midnight wings, long moonlit hair and long pointed ears. They look like Andstella.
When they wake they ask immediately after everyone else and I reassure them that everyone is alright, especially Theaceae.
And as soon as I tell them that they've become fae they ask if they're Winter and I can see the light of the fae memories in their eyes as they launch into an explanation of how much better it is to be Spring. I guide them back, reminding them of the warmth of summer, the Harvest Festival, and the comfort of kin during the cold winter months. And I take their tiny, fae-sized hand in mine.
Their face as they feel their own wings is so gentle and delighted. It's the silver moon itself reflecting the light of the sun.
We sit for a few more hours talking through their many lives - in the small human town that no longer feels like home, the first time they drank, the many times their ancient fae self duelled and danced and wooed hundreds of women. It seems that Magdalena chose for Dawn to remember a childhood where they were always a young girl, never older than they are now. But a young woman who was bold and devious and fearless, a scoundrel. Laughing and blushing, this pale midnight fae tells me of dancing in the evening, lovers overnight, duelling in the morning, and fleeing by noon.
These are all memories that Dawn might have made for herself if things were different. Maybe if she'd been born a fae or grew up with a different culture or without Haman. Who knows?
And I pass her over to her friends, Theaceae and some of the other young Vanguard.
Days 304 - 305
Dawn continues to get oriented in her fae form. She spends time with Camellia, who is so gracious and grateful and has so many old clothes from when she herself was a scoundrel.
And a day later, Dawn comes to find me and asks me to come with her a little further out from the camp for privacy. "Bring an instrument!" she says.
I didn't know how happy I could feel...
We pass several hours together connecting to some of our oldest memories. Mine of playing at balls and parties and taverns, from formal music where Dawn remembers the dance that goes along with it to bawdy firepit music where she improvises and lets the song guide her feet and wings.
I weave together the music with what I heard in Whitewater and while it's not as magical as hearing the fae and Osyr music together, it's special.
Panting and catching our breath afterwards, we reminisce more about our ancient love lives. I recall how strange it was to love an elf and feel that I was just going to slip away from her in what must have felt like a heartbeat to her.
And Dawn...story after story of women. I laugh at this; I think she and Miriam will be good for each other as friends. Miriam is so young and all the advice I have feels heavy - my experiences are not universal and really are not necessarily replicable. I should not encourage her to follow the path of falling deeply and desperately in love with the woman who swept her away from her Frontier village and then find support later in a wild, lightning-imbued warrior who can command an army nearly as well as me. These are not things that will help a young human girl.
Day 306
A day later the Shadowgate opens and Alder brings back the Vanguard. Seeing a small flood of kin come through the gate is incredible. The wings alone paint the entire breadth of the sky!
But when Miriam comes through the gate with her fae girlfriend they immediately go separate ways and I nudge Dawn to go after Miriam and help (as a shoulder and a wingwoman, not preying upon her, I specify)!
And then I fold Alder in a long-needed hug, dragging him back to camp to sit down with tea and updates. Their group dealt with wolves, boars, and even bears in the last few weeks. At least it means they've returned with supplies.
Miriam hadn't quite processed how much fae can change when they sleep. When her girlfriend asked if she'd still accept her if she woke as a boy....it just didn't go well. And coming face to face with the nature of a fae lifespan and transformation prompted the realization of how short-lived humans are compared to elves. Her plans with Alder to open a bakery changed in an instant even though nothing had changed for Alder.
He tried to help and talked about how they can only ever live in the moment and plan for what they know they'll have. And Alder himself has some notions of envy over Miriam getting to have a relationship right now when he doesn't have that opportunity. We all want so much that just isn't available right now...and the storm is exacerbating it.
And finally he shows me his own magical practices - he's been working on projecting a magic circle composed of shadow itself, which he can now cast by himself. It's remarkable and I'm so proud of him. We're looking forward to lots of sparring (for me) and magic lessons (for him) and just enjoying each other's closeness again.
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