Session 8: Spa Day!
General Summary
Several of us started off our week by going to the Starr to check in as new members of the newspaper. There, we met a Goliath named Vixen Sparejaw who writes theater reviews. He's pretty cute. Anyway, he says we will just be little delivery minions this year and won't actually be doing much writing. I'm sure that will change once they read some of my stories. Anyway, we met our supervisor, Grayson Wildemere. He seemed very busy and important. He told us we could pitch articles at the pitch meeting, but mostly as first years we would be delivering the morning edition of the paper at 6 a.m.
Grayson directed us over to Mina Lee at the printing press to pick up our papers to deliver. Mina was super stressed because the printer was jammed. We tried to take a look at it, and I tried mending it but it looked like the ink was gooed up in there clogging up the printer. We made a lot of skeet jokes and eventually decided to help unjam it. However, when Skoldreg and Cathia tried to take the machine apart, the ink became animated and attacked.
Night sang a fantastic song about the dildo ink thing and we felt quite inspired. The jizz blob attacked and grappled both me and Night. Either we both have some sort of jizz allergy or this is some caustic ass jizz. It dissolved my backpack and Night's rapier. We fought back and forth with the skeet demon for quite some time until I blasted it with both a chromatic orb and then creeped it out by saying disturbing erotic stuff while touching him in a chilling way. The skeet demon suicided in response. Sweet!
Mina was grateful for our help and gave us two potions of healing, that we distributed among ourselves. She also gave us some free spa passes. It seems like I havehave impressed Vixen with my creepy death talk at the Jizz monster, so he volunteered to deliver mine and Cathia's papers for the day. Cathia ships us. We also discussed getting Night's rapier replaced. Mina suggested that we "borrow" one from the LARPers. We had Cillian's familiar Randy run in all invisible like and try to steal a rapier. There was only one staff on duty. Although Randy was invisible and couldn't be seen, he did make some noise so Rosie, one of the LARPers, heard him and thought it was a ghost. Randy is a dick, so he stung her. They fought and Randy roughed her up. Randy ran off with two rapiers Cillian ran in and healed her, making a friend in the process.
The next day Cathia and I got up at ass o'clock and went to do our paper route. Vixen was already at the Star and offered to walk with me on my paper route. I agreed and we walked together, with Vixen carrying my papers. It was pretty cute.
After the paper route, we Failures went to the spa. We were greeted by an interesting Kenku named Pockets . We then met another spa patron, Dominique Paraguan who sold us drugs. Night got a grape looking thing, I got something spongey, Cillian got a bag that looked but didn't feel empty, and Cathia got some gooey taffy. The drugs I took made mushrooms grow out of my head. Cillian's gave him the ability to pass through walls. Night's gave her bad visions. Cathia's gave her webbed feet and hands. We signed up to be part of the horticulture muffin of the week club so we get free drug muffins every week... for science. After we were thoroughly drugged up, Dominique told us the pool was messed up and had no water. We came up with a plan to cast mending on the leak and refill the pool with champagne using our magic flask. As soon as we got inside to get to work, a giant landshark emerged out of the pool. So that fucking sucks.
Until next time (unless the landshark eats me,
Dahlia
Grayson directed us over to Mina Lee at the printing press to pick up our papers to deliver. Mina was super stressed because the printer was jammed. We tried to take a look at it, and I tried mending it but it looked like the ink was gooed up in there clogging up the printer. We made a lot of skeet jokes and eventually decided to help unjam it. However, when Skoldreg and Cathia tried to take the machine apart, the ink became animated and attacked.
Night sang a fantastic song about the dildo ink thing and we felt quite inspired. The jizz blob attacked and grappled both me and Night. Either we both have some sort of jizz allergy or this is some caustic ass jizz. It dissolved my backpack and Night's rapier. We fought back and forth with the skeet demon for quite some time until I blasted it with both a chromatic orb and then creeped it out by saying disturbing erotic stuff while touching him in a chilling way. The skeet demon suicided in response. Sweet!
Mina was grateful for our help and gave us two potions of healing, that we distributed among ourselves. She also gave us some free spa passes. It seems like I havehave impressed Vixen with my creepy death talk at the Jizz monster, so he volunteered to deliver mine and Cathia's papers for the day. Cathia ships us. We also discussed getting Night's rapier replaced. Mina suggested that we "borrow" one from the LARPers. We had Cillian's familiar Randy run in all invisible like and try to steal a rapier. There was only one staff on duty. Although Randy was invisible and couldn't be seen, he did make some noise so Rosie, one of the LARPers, heard him and thought it was a ghost. Randy is a dick, so he stung her. They fought and Randy roughed her up. Randy ran off with two rapiers Cillian ran in and healed her, making a friend in the process.
The next day Cathia and I got up at ass o'clock and went to do our paper route. Vixen was already at the Star and offered to walk with me on my paper route. I agreed and we walked together, with Vixen carrying my papers. It was pretty cute.
After the paper route, we Failures went to the spa. We were greeted by an interesting Kenku named Pockets . We then met another spa patron, Dominique Paraguan who sold us drugs. Night got a grape looking thing, I got something spongey, Cillian got a bag that looked but didn't feel empty, and Cathia got some gooey taffy. The drugs I took made mushrooms grow out of my head. Cillian's gave him the ability to pass through walls. Night's gave her bad visions. Cathia's gave her webbed feet and hands. We signed up to be part of the horticulture muffin of the week club so we get free drug muffins every week... for science. After we were thoroughly drugged up, Dominique told us the pool was messed up and had no water. We came up with a plan to cast mending on the leak and refill the pool with champagne using our magic flask. As soon as we got inside to get to work, a giant landshark emerged out of the pool. So that fucking sucks.
Until next time (unless the landshark eats me,
Dahlia
Report Date
07 Jun 2022
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