Session 22: A Maze of Fleshlights and Pus
General Summary
We are resting in what we thought was a cave, but it's turned out to be more of a large fleshlight. Disgusting. In front of us is a weird eye thing, and Randy goes off to check it out while we rest. As he does, we noticed the pods ahead seemed to be refilling with, I guess, ooze. Randy pointed out that there was a red triangular gem above the eye thing. That seemed weird. Skoldreg just went right up and yanked it out. There was a big flash and the eye stopped, the pods stopped filling, and the ticking sound we had been hearing stopped. I guess that's fine? Anyway, the gem is like super fancy af, probably worth a couple hundred gold (250g).
We pocketed the gem and crept forward. There was a weird pit with more weird flesh-pods ahead. Wulfric bit one of the pods and it started oozing acidic pus. Vom. Wulfric was super pitiful, like the pus obviously hurt him, so we started attacking the pus pods. Dahlia was hoping I could blast them all at once, so I was all "Blam! Shatter!" on them, but they just multiplied. Son of a fucking fuck. Then I tried to zap them with lightning and that seemed to heal the little shits. Skoldreg didn't seem to be paying attention so he went and hit them with his thunder hammer like right after I just made them multiply with my thunder spell, and so of course they split some more. The oozes all surrounded Wulfric. Cathia hurled a fireball at them and most of them exploded. I was starting to think everything we knew how to do was going to just keep making things worse. But nope. Fire. Night That Eats Stars blew up some absinthe in the face of the few oozes left, exploding a few more. Cillian started blasting and it seemed like that worked too. The oozes kept going for Wulfric. So he grabbed the last one up by its oozy throat and murdered it. But like now what? We were still in a disgusting fleshlight of horrors. Someone noticed that the pods seemed to have a triangular shape to them, so maybe we're supposed to be sticking the triangle gem in them.
We kept exploring. There was a giant pool of ooze lava shit in the next room. It smelled like hot expired ass but there was a blue triangular gem, same shape as the one before, hovering over the ooze pool. Skoldreg walked up and plucked the gem out of the air. Then the runes around the ooze pool went and the room got like hellish hot. Like literally melting hot af. Skoldreg ran back out of the room to where the rest of us were waiting so he didn't burn alive. He sacrificed some of his magic to make himself immune to the heat in the room, went back in and checked out some of the connecting passages. He said it was all creepy as hell, but we might need to check those places out. Super.
We decided to go the other way first. It wasn't great either. There were tubs of the ooze lava stuff just filling and refilling over and over. Skoldreg went to take a closer look and found a green triangular gem powering the tubs. It was up high in the air, so Cillian cast fly on Skoldreg and he was able to grab it. Skoldreg was just flying all over the place after that. He flew into another room and there was a rotten corpse of a wolf. Over it, was another triangular gem - yellow this time. He grabs it and gets out before the disgustingness of the room makes him sick. He was pretty smelly when he came back so I magicked up some roses to make him smell better.
We came back to the room with the pods. We couldn't figure out which color gem went in which pod. We all try to figure it out and I even summoned my spirit guide from the Shadowfell - his name is Weirdo and he's this super cute three eyed cat with a tentacle tail and glowing paws. Anyway, yeah I summoned him to help, but he wasn't any better. So we gave a random combination a try. It worked! The pods parted into a vaguely vulva-esque opening.
We all went through the opening one after another. The fleshy tunnel lled upwards into a stone hallway. At least we were finally out of the fleshlight. But we all had a bad feeling about well pretty much everything ahead. Skoldreg opened the first door and there she was - Nolia. An ooze glommed on to Skoldreg's face. Cillian hexed it and we all tried to cast spells to kill it. But more oozes were coming toward us. Nolia came up behind them and thundered the oozes and Night and Wolfric. Now there were more MF oozes. As if that wasn't fucked enough, she started throwing fucking knives at Night. I tried distracting the oozes but they did not give a single shit. The oozes were going for Night now. I withered them and stole some of their health to heal Night. Cathia cast some sort of psychic whip thing and took Nolia down, knocking her into the ooze lava. Cool. Except not. Suddenly that shitass came back out of the lava ooze.
And so with that, I guess I'm off to fight this stupid lady again.
XOXO,
Dahlia
We pocketed the gem and crept forward. There was a weird pit with more weird flesh-pods ahead. Wulfric bit one of the pods and it started oozing acidic pus. Vom. Wulfric was super pitiful, like the pus obviously hurt him, so we started attacking the pus pods. Dahlia was hoping I could blast them all at once, so I was all "Blam! Shatter!" on them, but they just multiplied. Son of a fucking fuck. Then I tried to zap them with lightning and that seemed to heal the little shits. Skoldreg didn't seem to be paying attention so he went and hit them with his thunder hammer like right after I just made them multiply with my thunder spell, and so of course they split some more. The oozes all surrounded Wulfric. Cathia hurled a fireball at them and most of them exploded. I was starting to think everything we knew how to do was going to just keep making things worse. But nope. Fire. Night That Eats Stars blew up some absinthe in the face of the few oozes left, exploding a few more. Cillian started blasting and it seemed like that worked too. The oozes kept going for Wulfric. So he grabbed the last one up by its oozy throat and murdered it. But like now what? We were still in a disgusting fleshlight of horrors. Someone noticed that the pods seemed to have a triangular shape to them, so maybe we're supposed to be sticking the triangle gem in them.
We kept exploring. There was a giant pool of ooze lava shit in the next room. It smelled like hot expired ass but there was a blue triangular gem, same shape as the one before, hovering over the ooze pool. Skoldreg walked up and plucked the gem out of the air. Then the runes around the ooze pool went and the room got like hellish hot. Like literally melting hot af. Skoldreg ran back out of the room to where the rest of us were waiting so he didn't burn alive. He sacrificed some of his magic to make himself immune to the heat in the room, went back in and checked out some of the connecting passages. He said it was all creepy as hell, but we might need to check those places out. Super.
We decided to go the other way first. It wasn't great either. There were tubs of the ooze lava stuff just filling and refilling over and over. Skoldreg went to take a closer look and found a green triangular gem powering the tubs. It was up high in the air, so Cillian cast fly on Skoldreg and he was able to grab it. Skoldreg was just flying all over the place after that. He flew into another room and there was a rotten corpse of a wolf. Over it, was another triangular gem - yellow this time. He grabs it and gets out before the disgustingness of the room makes him sick. He was pretty smelly when he came back so I magicked up some roses to make him smell better.
We came back to the room with the pods. We couldn't figure out which color gem went in which pod. We all try to figure it out and I even summoned my spirit guide from the Shadowfell - his name is Weirdo and he's this super cute three eyed cat with a tentacle tail and glowing paws. Anyway, yeah I summoned him to help, but he wasn't any better. So we gave a random combination a try. It worked! The pods parted into a vaguely vulva-esque opening.
We all went through the opening one after another. The fleshy tunnel lled upwards into a stone hallway. At least we were finally out of the fleshlight. But we all had a bad feeling about well pretty much everything ahead. Skoldreg opened the first door and there she was - Nolia. An ooze glommed on to Skoldreg's face. Cillian hexed it and we all tried to cast spells to kill it. But more oozes were coming toward us. Nolia came up behind them and thundered the oozes and Night and Wolfric. Now there were more MF oozes. As if that wasn't fucked enough, she started throwing fucking knives at Night. I tried distracting the oozes but they did not give a single shit. The oozes were going for Night now. I withered them and stole some of their health to heal Night. Cathia cast some sort of psychic whip thing and took Nolia down, knocking her into the ooze lava. Cool. Except not. Suddenly that shitass came back out of the lava ooze.
And so with that, I guess I'm off to fight this stupid lady again.
XOXO,
Dahlia
Mission: Figure out what's with the black goo of doom; Check out Nolia in the Shimmering Peaks
Location: Fleshlight Cave, Shimmering Peaks
In Game Date: Misthuar 7, 844
Location: Fleshlight Cave, Shimmering Peaks
In Game Date: Misthuar 7, 844
Report Date
11 Apr 2023
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