Session 16: It's Winter's Crest - and shit is weird
General Summary
So we left the creepy murder house sex ring clown mansion and returned the children to their neglectful parents. We told them they should take better care of their kids. They were really appreciative and paid us 400g. We did have to tell one of the parents that Happy Jack ate their kid. That was super awkward.
When we got back to school we saw Piper outside smoking. I told her we saved her brother. I'm not sure how but somehow things got really flirty after that and I ended up flying back to her room, Cillian and Randy followed. Whatever. I told Randy he couldn't participate because he was like an animal or demon or something, so I gave him my notebook to draw in while the rest of us were busy. Anyway, for what happened next you can purchase a copy of the tantalizing and titillating tale of erotic adventure, Pack Tactics: It Takes Three, for 1s wherever you purchase your smut.
So yeah, moving on, the next day we all met up for our Arcanobotany class. The professor, Professor Thorngage was a real shit slice. She kept going on about Winter's Crest being stupid and she was roasting everyone and openly drinking in class. And then she just up and left. This school is completely dysfunctional. Anyway, as Professor Thorngage was leaving, a portrait of her before she was a cranky old asshole and some other yaun-ti friend fell out of her bag. We noticed the yaun-ti friend looked kind of like the lorehold statue bust we stole for the familiar fight at the beginning of the semester, Regret. We decided to go to the library to talk to him and see if he could tell us anything about why our Professor has gone cuckoo crazy pants. He said the professor wasn't always so cranky and then just asked us to grab his head. I thought that was weird so I offered to just tickle his chin. He declined and everyone else was doing it so I grabbed his head.
It seems grabbing Regret's rock hard head has teleported us to a snowy pub. That would be nice, except it apparently means we are ghosts. No one can see us and we can't really do anything. We are watching a young Professor Thorngage get drunk with a fellow yuan-ti who still looks like Regret, the statue guy. Cillian pissed on the professor, but it didn't matter since we were ghosts and nothing we did was real. I was hiding out in the big skull mounted above the bar and I made it projectile vomit with magic in response. Professor and Regret were boasting about killing a lich, though that was hard to make out because slurred parseltongue is really pretty incomprehensible. As they were talking and drinking and bragging on themselves to anyone who would listen, a creepy shadowy guy slipped through the crowd and cast something on Professor's flask.
Just then some Bullywugs hanging out in a different part of the bar seemed to be able to see Night That Eats Stars . They just walked right up to her and said "You shouldn't be here. You can't change the past" or some shit like that. We were like, um, yeah no we're not trying to, we're just trying to watch and stuff. But they were all "history is deadly." And I was like "Yeah and so are all the other classes at Strixhaven too, what's your point?" I think they think they are super edgy, but it's honestly kind of cringe. So we started fighting them. One of these frog dickbags was named Little Larry, and poisoned Cillian. So we killed Little Larry super fast. One of the others, Crotchit, tried to poison Night but Cathia did some sort of time warp thing that let Night shake it off. I blasted that shit head, Crotchit, with an icy orb. Skoldreg bonked the last one on the head with his new bonking hammer. Suddenly we were transported back to the library.
We talked to Regret and told him what we saw. Together we figured out that what we saw was Professor Thorngage's flask being cursed and we surmised that the effect of the curse must be getting worse with time. We were pretty worried about her serving out of that flask for the Winter's Crest party so we decided to go up to Firejolt and see if we could work our way into getting into that party. Night was buttering up Ellina and it seems like Ellina was trying to take her home. Tilana burst in while Ellina and Night were flirting and said she wanted to steal the flask and destroy it because it was cursed. We thought the timing seemed pretty sus, especially since no one on campus seems to ever figure anything out except us. So we were pretty cagey about what we told her. Eventually, we managed to brush her off. We stole the Flask and left the tavern. Except for Night, who stayed behind to hook up with Ellina. To read about what may have happened there, you can purchase a copy of the sultry and sensual soon-to-be Winter's Crest classic, On a Cold Winter's Night: A Brief Fling with a Tiefling, for 1s wherever finest smut is sold.
That's all for now. I guess we need to figure out what to do with this cursed flask. I'm thinking mount it over the mantle in the Pub that Crawls. Xoxo, Dahlia
When we got back to school we saw Piper outside smoking. I told her we saved her brother. I'm not sure how but somehow things got really flirty after that and I ended up flying back to her room, Cillian and Randy followed. Whatever. I told Randy he couldn't participate because he was like an animal or demon or something, so I gave him my notebook to draw in while the rest of us were busy. Anyway, for what happened next you can purchase a copy of the tantalizing and titillating tale of erotic adventure, Pack Tactics: It Takes Three, for 1s wherever you purchase your smut.
So yeah, moving on, the next day we all met up for our Arcanobotany class. The professor, Professor Thorngage was a real shit slice. She kept going on about Winter's Crest being stupid and she was roasting everyone and openly drinking in class. And then she just up and left. This school is completely dysfunctional. Anyway, as Professor Thorngage was leaving, a portrait of her before she was a cranky old asshole and some other yaun-ti friend fell out of her bag. We noticed the yaun-ti friend looked kind of like the lorehold statue bust we stole for the familiar fight at the beginning of the semester, Regret. We decided to go to the library to talk to him and see if he could tell us anything about why our Professor has gone cuckoo crazy pants. He said the professor wasn't always so cranky and then just asked us to grab his head. I thought that was weird so I offered to just tickle his chin. He declined and everyone else was doing it so I grabbed his head.
It seems grabbing Regret's rock hard head has teleported us to a snowy pub. That would be nice, except it apparently means we are ghosts. No one can see us and we can't really do anything. We are watching a young Professor Thorngage get drunk with a fellow yuan-ti who still looks like Regret, the statue guy. Cillian pissed on the professor, but it didn't matter since we were ghosts and nothing we did was real. I was hiding out in the big skull mounted above the bar and I made it projectile vomit with magic in response. Professor and Regret were boasting about killing a lich, though that was hard to make out because slurred parseltongue is really pretty incomprehensible. As they were talking and drinking and bragging on themselves to anyone who would listen, a creepy shadowy guy slipped through the crowd and cast something on Professor's flask.
Just then some Bullywugs hanging out in a different part of the bar seemed to be able to see Night That Eats Stars . They just walked right up to her and said "You shouldn't be here. You can't change the past" or some shit like that. We were like, um, yeah no we're not trying to, we're just trying to watch and stuff. But they were all "history is deadly." And I was like "Yeah and so are all the other classes at Strixhaven too, what's your point?" I think they think they are super edgy, but it's honestly kind of cringe. So we started fighting them. One of these frog dickbags was named Little Larry, and poisoned Cillian. So we killed Little Larry super fast. One of the others, Crotchit, tried to poison Night but Cathia did some sort of time warp thing that let Night shake it off. I blasted that shit head, Crotchit, with an icy orb. Skoldreg bonked the last one on the head with his new bonking hammer. Suddenly we were transported back to the library.
We talked to Regret and told him what we saw. Together we figured out that what we saw was Professor Thorngage's flask being cursed and we surmised that the effect of the curse must be getting worse with time. We were pretty worried about her serving out of that flask for the Winter's Crest party so we decided to go up to Firejolt and see if we could work our way into getting into that party. Night was buttering up Ellina and it seems like Ellina was trying to take her home. Tilana burst in while Ellina and Night were flirting and said she wanted to steal the flask and destroy it because it was cursed. We thought the timing seemed pretty sus, especially since no one on campus seems to ever figure anything out except us. So we were pretty cagey about what we told her. Eventually, we managed to brush her off. We stole the Flask and left the tavern. Except for Night, who stayed behind to hook up with Ellina. To read about what may have happened there, you can purchase a copy of the sultry and sensual soon-to-be Winter's Crest classic, On a Cold Winter's Night: A Brief Fling with a Tiefling, for 1s wherever finest smut is sold.
That's all for now. I guess we need to figure out what to do with this cursed flask. I'm thinking mount it over the mantle in the Pub that Crawls. Xoxo, Dahlia
Character(s) interacted with
Piper Lilu
Ellina Tanglewood
Tilana Kapule
Regret, a yuan-ti statue
Professor Thorgage
Some bullywugs from the past
Ellina Tanglewood
Tilana Kapule
Regret, a yuan-ti statue
Professor Thorgage
Some bullywugs from the past
Report Date
21 Dec 2022
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