The Grandiose Titan – The Most Laughable Villain in New Zealand
"Heroes are only as great as their villains, so really, I am the one making you famous."
Aliases: The Grandiose Titan, Lord of the Lowlands, The Bearded Blunder
Real Name: Colin "Col" McTavish
Home: Auckland, North Island, New Zealand
Birthplace: Christchurch, South Island, New Zealand
Gender: Male
Height: 5'11" (6'3" with helmet)
Weight: 185 lbs (84 kg)
Build: Average, slightly stocky
Hair/Style: Red-brown, with a thick, well-groomed beard. Hair usually hidden beneath a replica dwarven helm.
Eyes: Light blue
Ancestry: European New Zealander
Skin: Fair, often lightly sunburned from outdoor antics
Occupation: Part-time security guard, full-time wannabe supervillain
Affiliation: None
Current Status: Active (barely considered a threat) – Local authorities view him as a recurring nuisance
Meta Threat Classification: Non-Threatening – Comic Relief
Modifier Tags: M, U, W
- M Mundane: No powers of any kind
- U Untrained: No formal combat or tactical training
- W Wildcard: Unpredictable, may cause unintended consequences due to erratic behavior
MBTI: ENFP – The Campaigner
Background:
Colin McTavish grew up idolizing fantasy heroes, tabletop warlords, and obscure comic villains. After years of mundane jobs and internet forum arguments, he snapped—not in a dangerous way, but in a "DIY villain origin" kind of way. Using cosplay props and boundless delusion, he reinvented himself as The Grandiose Titan, a theatrical "villain" with no powers, no real threat level, and a relentless belief in his destiny as a legendary figure. His antics rarely succeed, but his commitment is unwavering.
Powers/Skills/Abilities of Note:
- Delusional Confidence: Immune to discouragement. Possibly a superpower.
- Surprisingly Durable: Shrugs off pratfalls, punches, and public embarrassment.
- Amateur Brawler: Self-trained via action movies and MMA games. Predictable, dramatic, and ineffective.
- Prop Weapon Mastery: Owns and names all of his foam, plastic, and wooden “weapons.”
- Absurd Scheming: His plans are so ridiculous they occasionally confuse real heroes.
- Tabletop Game Expertise: Truly his only area of genuine skill—he's a formidable TCG and RPG player (though still often loses to heroes humoring him).
Equipment:
(Note: All equipment is non-functional or purely cosmetic)
- Helmet of the Stalwart Kings: Replica with LED eyes and self-repairing foam.
- Cloak of Conquering Winds: Villain-Con enchanted—billows constantly, indoors or underwater.
- Battle Horn of Triumph: Plays “O Fortuna” when blown. No other effect.
- Foam Warhammer ("Titan's Wrath"): Painted for intimidation. Bounces on impact.
- Gloves of Titanic Might: Make satisfying “whirr” sounds when clenched.
- Armor with Decorative Pauldrons: Reinforced plastic with no combat value.
Personality:
The Grandiose Titan is dramatic, overconfident, and completely convinced of his own epic importance. He speaks in monologues, refers to himself in third person, and frames his failures as "strategic retreats." While absurd, he's oddly likable and more misguided than malicious. He has no actual villainous intent—just a deep need to feel legendary. Most heroes treat him as a harmless side quest.
Full Physical Description:
Out of Costume: Col appears like a slightly sunburned, stocky man in his late 30s, usually seen in fantasy merch hoodies or worn-out work uniforms. His beard is his pride and joy, neatly groomed to give him a sense of regality.
In Costume: As The Grandiose Titan, he wears a patched-together suit of foam armor over cargo pants and sneakers. His helmet glows faintly, and his cape never stops billowing. The ensemble is more cosplay than combat, but his theatrical presentation gives it flair. His weapons jingle with every dramatic stride.
Notable Quotes
"Bow before The Grandiose Titan, you insignificant whelps!"
"My blade thirsts for battle! And also... maybe a beer. Do you guys want to grab one after this?"
"Heroes are only as great as their villains, so really, I am the one making you famous."
"This is not a loss! This is... a strategic retreat! Yes! A tactical withdrawal!"
"One day, they shall tell stories of my exploits! Probably in a podcast. But still, stories!"
Pre Villain-Con Outfit
Post Villain-Con Outfit
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