241009 - Attercop, attercop...
General Summary
Welcome faithful readers! This lowly writer has been out of town at a conference for well, lowly writers. I learnt some new tricks and also saw all the latest in newspaper writing article technology. This includes a canned Mind Flayer; you can use it to automatically generate prose and even put pictures in people’s heads. I am not sure about the accuracy of this so-called AI, Automatic Ilithid, but during the test, it wrote a paragraph exalting the virtues of Thorg as if he were a cheese sandwich. Maybe it knows something we don’t. Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes...as Luthiel revealed, our band of Tomb Robbing Assassins were in a place known as the Underdark.
Our group had been travelling ever downwards in a constant energy sapping, calf testing, gentle slope. The darkness had started to eat away at their minds, causing a malaise to hang over them all. The thought of sunlight was starting to be an obsession with Luthiel. Her elven nature at complete odds with the gloom and damp. Kurog just grunted, rolled his shoulders and proceeded at a fast pace, with the rest of the team following on in their standard marching order. Chatter was kept to a minimum as the cold damp air bit into their flesh, stripping the humour from all situations. They trudged for what seemed like hours, with only one direction to go. Their way lit by the dim glow of the various fungi growing all over the area. Every now and then they heard bone chilling screams emanate from further down the way, other equally disturbing noises echoed around them all the time, further putting the band ill at ease. They eventually reached an area with a doorway to the left, could this be a point on the map? The doorway had the remains of a once well-constructed wooden door hanging from its hinges. Above the door could be seen the sun symbol that was now becoming quite familiar to the group. They were now sure that this symbol matched the “Fighter’s Society” as described by the Mind- Flayer they had encountered in a previous episode. Team sneak, now reduced to one, set off to explore the doorway, once Drogon poked his head around the corner, he noticed a lot of webs covering the corner of the left-hand room, and broken furniture on the right. In the web he could make out three “bundles” that could be human sized. He came back out to tell the others what he had found. He stopped short and gulped. He directed the rest of the team to look up, with a shaking finger he pointed to a monstrous spider that was clinging to the ceiling. The spider was all too aware of the potential feast below it but didn’t make a move towards them. The team discussed all sorts of things that could be done. It was decided to avoid fire, as although effective, it could burn some useful information or loot that might be found. Throughout these conversations a very pale, even more pale than her normal demeanour, Jude was backing away from the spider slowly and deliberately. She almost knocked over Griff who had had the same thought. Jude couldn’t speak, something the rest of the group were thankful for. It was finally decided to attack the ceiling spider. The team devised a new tactic called “Syncro Shock”. This involved all of them casting their spells and firing arrows, bolts etc all at the same time. Of course, many of these missed and two more of the gigantic arachnids crawled into view. One of which looked remarkably like the spider that had crawled over their camp on the previous night. Jude and Griff found themselves unwittingly at the back of the group and had to face down a spider whilst Team Heavy Metal set to tank the new spider that had appeared. The ceiling-based original arachnid decide to fire webs at the party. It too wasn’t blessed with great aim and that make Kurog feel better about almost shooting himself in the face with his own crossbow. Luthiel stood her ground, squealing in disgust as spider ichor splashed over her new white mantle. She had literally just washed it a few hours ago and cut it to the latest trend. Being the princess, she could say what the latest trend was, so she was totally on point. Mid indignant teenage whine a spider bite landed, the fangs piecing her chainmail and instantly paralysing her. With a sort of metallic chain-clad elven “thunk”, she toppled to the ground. Griff though this was quite funny and had just nudged Jude to make a very inappropriate joke when he quickly found himself in the same situation as he succumbed to a poisoned bite. Our larcenous, kleptomaniac took more blows than he’d like and was hanging onto life as best he could. These venomous over-sized arthropods could pack a punch and could take a beating. Not that Luthiel or Griff were going to do any beating, they had many chances to expunge the poison. Their bodies just seemed to laugh at these chances and decided to make it worse. Jude healed for once, and got Griff back to fighting strength. She was tempted to jump in and start swinging her mace, until she realised there was no way she was getting any closer to these horrors. So, heal she did. Thorg, Kurog and Drogon made short work of their spider and moved onto the second. It soon was on its back with all seven legs in the air. Thorg counted again, definitely seven until he turned and saw Kurog holding the eighth leg near his nether regions pretending he had something he did not. Thorg spat out a laugh and slapped his melee buddy on the back. Even though still paralysed, Luthiel could be seen to roll her eyes. The third spider chittered at the group and legged it, with all eight attached, off into the darkness. Once the poison had worn off Luthiel and Griff, the group did their search thing. This led them to the three web-wrapped corpses. All three turned out to be Drow, two males and one female. All desiccated to the point of mummification. The two males had the fighter Society sun medallion, but the female had a different one. Hers was that of a toadstool. Maybe a different cast or one to signify casters. This thought would permeate later on when they realised that perhaps all men were fighters and females, casters. With ever scientific advancement in mind, or just the need to take everything, Griff harvested three spider eggs from the nest and placed them in his bag of holding. Now wouldn’t that be a nasty surprise for him when they hatched? The party reassembled and continued their march, ever downwards. The recent fight had re- energised them somewhat and the physical exercise had banished some of the ghosts that clouded their happiness. The group had a conversation about which way to go, it was a very short one. No where to go but down! During their sojourn the team heard the most disconcerting noise, a deep, animalistic roar or moan echoing loudly down the corridor. Their skin going cold and with fear nipping at their resolve they proceeded. It wasn’t long before the party reached an area that had a few open caves to their left and right. It was then that a voice rang out, its sonorous tones were those of a female Drow. Luthiel and Jude could understand the command to halt. It was then that Luthiel decided to do something brave, or foolish. History will tell. She stepped forward and announced herself, mimicking the medieval style elven language. She asked to whom she was speaking and the voice named itself “Selancura”. The party were told to drop all of their weapons, to which Thorg muttered “No faaarking chance!” and that made Luthiel giggle and the whole plan was undone. Drow stepped out of the shadows all around them, thirteen of the pale-skinned, pointy eared, bow wielding buggers. Talking was over and the fighting was to begin. With grins all-round, the band leapt to action, but not as fast as their opposition. Kurog the Pin Cushion accepted the appellation as well as ten arrows, a few piercing his armour causing his flesh to burn with poison. The team managed to get a few spells off before the elves withdrew and backed into the shadows, but not before dropping Luthiel with a mortal wound. Jude cast a fast heal and got her back up on her feet. The team chased the Drow into the darkness and managed to catch them in the side caves. Jude, Kurog and Drogon found them selves facing two of the pale elves but within the blink of an eye a third figure appeared. A red beast of sulphurous stench, it could only be a daemon from the pit. The daemon then decided to move into the same space as Kurog. Kurog felt himself being violated and he later had to show his friends on a doll where it had touched him. He was unable to speak about it for years. Whilst this fight was going on Thorg and Luthiel were holding the rear and more dark elves appeared. They fired their bows at Luthiel, all hitting her and down she went again screeching in agony as the poison burned. Thorg, did what he could but the elves fired again into the unconscious body of Luthiel, killing her outright. Any rumours that Thorg used her as a meat shield, are probably exaggerated and totally fabricated. Jude glanced at Luthiel, tutted and went back to her fight with the daemon. Drogon managed to find a part of the daemon that was bigger than Kurog and stabbed away at it. Jude’s Spirit Guardian spell tore chucks from the daemon, as the radiant light did twice the damage to this most unholy beast. Followed up with a blast of pure radiant light and the daemon was down, but not before it got a chance to penetrate Kurog once more, to his eternal shame. There had been one caster, a female, in the group but Thorg saw her ride off upon a lizard, presumably this had been the “Selancura” that had challenged them before. More of the elves fell until none were left. They had obviously been told to hold and protect the retreat of their captain. This area was definitely the area marked with the eye on the map, now they knew that the eye symbol matched that of the sun and eye on the medallions. Forts or camps for sure. This gave them perspective, a point of reference and also a little bit of hope. A search of the camp revealed just how evil and depraved the Drow were. The body of a wood elf was found hanging upside down, completely exsanguinated. The blood was found in five glass vials, each holding a litre. To what ends these were to be used is for another time. They also found the mutilated body of a Mind- Flayer, its face tentacles had all been cut off. Luthiel’s corpse was brought to Jude, how that went we shall see next time. Amongst all this wickedness, the band found a scroll containing a list of names. A mixture of crossed out in green, crossed out in red or unmarked. A kill list? A list of commanders? Some of the names were recognised by the team. The Drow ambassadors from the Fire Giant Halls, were near the top and crossed out. Others, the team had come across in the past too. It is there that we have to leave the Band of Tomb Robbing Assassins. An action-packed episode this week but isn’t it always with this bunch of misfits? I’ll leave you with this excerpt from Luthiel’s diary. “I am writing this entry as I had a conversation with some awful dark kin. They smelt and everything, Oh, what’s that noise...?”
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