Drown: Five Rules for Beginning Adventurers

1. Swim, or stay home. Nearly 33% of all new adventurers drown the first time they come across a fast-moving river. It's not enough to know how to hold your breath, you have to know how to navigate in the water's confusing depths.
2. Lairs have two things: teeth and treasure. It doesn't matter if the monster that made it is covered in fur or scales. Keep an eye out for both (teeth and treasure, that is) and be ready to battle on a moment's notice.
3. The bigger the lair, the more ancient the beast inside. This should go without saying, but here I am saying it because every year some ass-horned young adventurer gets a mutated ego and decides to take on some regional aberration. And every time, they quickly learn what a dragon's tongue-slide is and end up inside the beast's heavily armored belly.
4. Always leave space to manuver. You would be shocked at the number of unprepared adventurers who end up backing themselves into a corner as a predator stalks toward them with a deafening hunger sounding a grotesque call from it's belly.
5. Do. Not. Make. Eye. Contact. Again! Should go without saying, what with basilisks and gorgons hiding around every corner petrifying every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wanders by. These otherworldly nightmares are not to be trifled with.

Five Star Bonus Pro Tip: Always adventure with a winged horse, for luck and a fast getaway!

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