Shebali Wedding

Shebali weddings are traditionally in five parts: the Groom's Gaye Holud, the Bride's Gaye Holud, the Sangeet Festival, the wedding and the reception. These often take place on separate days.

Gaye Houlds

Separate events are held for the bride's gaye holud, the groom's family - minus the groom himself - go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding outfit and jewelry, wedding decorations such as the turmeric paste (Bengali: হলুদ holud) and henna (Bengali: মেহেদি or মেন্দি mehedi/mendi), cosmetics, sweets and other gifts. They may also bring fresh fish dressed as a wedding couple, or desserts molded to resemble fish. The procession traditionally centers on the bride's (younger) female relatives and friends, who traditionally dress in matching clothes. The bride, her attendees, and all the guests traditionally wear red, yellow, orange, or green clothing.

The Groom’s Gaye Hould

The groom's gaye holud is first is Shebali tradition, and has the same form as the bride's holud ceremony. In this ceremony, the bride does not participate. The groom is accompanied by his younger male relatives and friends, and as with the bride's ceremony, the guests traditionally wear red, yellow, green, or orange clothing. The bride's family brings the gifts for the groom (usually the wedding outfit and some grooming items, along with the turmeric and other gifts) to his house. The guests exchange sweets with and apply turmeric paste to the groom, and a feast (with food, music, dance, and various cultural performances) is arranged for the guests from the groom's family. Unlike the bride, the groom does not get henna applied to his body; henna is only applied to the bride and perhaps also some of her younger female attendants.

The Bride’s Gaye Hould

The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate her hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the guests to her face and body. Turmeric is known to cleanse, soften and brighten the skin, giving the bride's skin the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony. The sweets are then fed to the bride by all the guests and attendants, piece by piece.
Due to mishaps, in the Queen Shehrabad, Queen Fulmati has two of these.

Sangeet Festival

The word “Sangeet “ means music, but when it is used as a term to describe a celebratory event during an Indian wedding it translates to Music Night or Musical party. This musical night is a celebration of the union of not only the couple but the bonding of both families. In shehrabad is is a whole day affair.
It is here that both sides bring down their barriers and mingle in a fun environment. It is a celebration that can be as lavish or as toned down as the families can afford. It’s usually held a day before the wedding.
It involves theater(a single Jatra which in the queen of Shehrabad will be about founding of the isle), dance performances, musical performances, lavish displays, sword fights, a feast and much alcohol.

The Wedding

Bor Jatri – The members of the groom's house as well as his friends dress in their best attire and journey to the bride's house where the wedding takes place.
Bor Boron – When the bor jatri reaches the bride's place, usually the mother of the bride along with other members come out to welcome the groom and his family by showing the holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula). Then they are served sweets and drinks.
Potto Bastra – After the groom is seated at the chadnatolla (wedding altar and canopy) – the sanctum sanctorum where only the groom, bride and the priest takes their place, the groom is offered new clothes by the person who is to do the sampradaan – the elderly male member of the family who does sampradan offers the responsibility of the bride to the groom.
Saat Paak – The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. The significance is they are winded up securely to each other.
Subho Dristi – After saat paak the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. The bride is told to remove the paan leaves. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society.
Mala Badal – After the circles are completed, still sitting high on the piri, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of fragrant flowers thrice. This is the first step in which they accept each other.
Sampradan – The bride then takes her place at the chadnatolla where an elderly male member of the bride's family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants and are placed on the mangal ghot – a brass pitcher filled with water that is covered with mango leaves attached to one twig and a green coconut placed on it.
Yagna – The bride and groom sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest. Agni, the fire god is made the divine witness to the marriage.
Saptapadi – The saptapadi in Bengali wedding is quite different from what is popular ("phere") in many other parts of India. There are seven betel leaves laid out in a sequence. The bride steps on these leaves one by one followed by the groom. The groom moves a special stone "nora" (typically used for crushing and pasting spices) with his foot as they move forward.
Anjali – An offering to the fire is made. The bride's brother puts puffed rice (khoi) in the hands of the bride, and the groom standing close to her holds her hands from the back and extends their arms forward. They then pour the offering into the fire together.
Sindoor Daan and Ghomta – Once again seated at their respective places in chadnatolla the groom applies sindoor or vermilion (a symbol of marriage worn by Hindu women thereafter) on the bride's hair-parting. During the process of sindoor daan the bride's head is covered with a new saree given by the groom's family. This is konwn as "lojja bostro".

Wedding Reception and Night

Bidaay – This is a farewell – mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride is bid adieu with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with her beau. The bride has to throw rice in the sari of her mother to fill the responsibility of her mother to her (as it is considered that the bride is the Groom's responsibility).
Bodhu Boron - This is done when the bride reaches the groom's house. One dish is made full with alta and milk. The bride stands on it, then enters the room with groom after being welcomed by the mother-in-law.
Kaal Ratri – After the couple reaches the groom's house and the initial welcome ceremony is over they are separated for the night, probably to get a refreshing sleep and prepare for the next day's final wedding ceremony.
Bou Bhaat – The bride cooks and serves all the members of her husband's family. As queen Fulmati is only expected to cook one dish and its up to the husband to guess what it is. The husband has to gift a sari to new bride and has to take a vow of taking the responsibility of the bride's basic needs ("Bhaat Kapor" - literally meaning food & dress). A banquet is held to treat the guests who lavish gifts on the new bride.
Phool Shojja – The couple and their bed are adorned with flowers and are left together in their room to enjoy conjugal bliss. There are friends who actually stay under the bed or by the corner of the door, the groom needs to check for these devils before he begins to talk to the bride.

History

It is based on Bengali and Hindu traditional weddings.

Observance

A several dates are divined using a ritual in the Shehrabad Mines.

Primary Related Location

The Isle of Shehrabad

Related Ethnicities

• Shebali