Welcome to ALL THE REALMS
If you were expecting a single, boring world with predictable rules and a shiny chosen hero, you’re in the wrong place. Throughout her Portal Goblin adventures, Oozewart will (most likely against her will) take us to a bunch of different realms.
At the center of it all is the Room of Portals, a crumbling, ancient stone platform shaped like a snowflake. It is managed by Wuurrm, the Guardian of the Portals, a being who usually looks like a slimy, multi-eyed snot-blob (but more on him when we make one of those fancy profiles for him). The stone arches in this room contain terrifying vortexes that will violently suck you in and spit you out across time and space into more realms than you can possibly imagine.
As you may have guessed, your guide through this multidimensional clusterfuck is Oozewart the Knuckle Cracker, a grumpy, brain-slurping goblin assassin who just wanted to punch her boss in the face and collect some severed fingers for her lucky necklace. Instead, she got sucked through a rogue portal, slapped with the title of "Entry Level Reaper," and cursed by the universe with the unbearable and absolutely disgusting urge to actually "Do The Right Thing". Gross.
Portal Goblin: Volume 1 (Reap the Undead)
Oozewart just wanted to punch her boss in the face and collect some fingers. Is that really too much to ask?
Meet Oozewart, the Knuckle Cracker. She’s a grumpy, brainslurping goblin trapped under a mountain of fake debt. To buy her freedom, she takes the notoriously deadly Gravekeeper shift at Mortvell’s Crypt. But instead of a quiet night with the dead, she gets sucked through a rogue portal, slapped with the unwanted title of 'Entry Level Reaper', and cursed with the worst magical affliction imaginable: the irresistible urge to actually do the right thing.
Now, armed with a bloodthirsty scythe and accompanied by a chatty snot-blob named Wuurrm, Oozewart must slice her way through an army of surprisingly smart zombies. If she fails, she becomes undead chow. If she succeeds? She might accidentally save the realms. Gross.
'Portal Goblin: Volume 1' is the start of a new fiendish fantasy, LitRPG(ish) series... which seems obvious what with the 'volume 1' and all, but it's important to clarify these things.
Goblin-Grade Warning: Not for small humans. Contains gore, swearing, and brain-slurping.
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