A Warm Welcome

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/Welcome, Captain...
/access audio_datalog_04_MAY_2338
/retrieving...
/playing audio_datalog_04_MAY_2338...

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(classical music playing in background)
"Hey, do you ever wonder why we're here?"

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/skipto 12:33:42
/skipping to 12:33:42...

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(loud crash)
"What the hell was that?"
"Crew alert! We have been struck by an unknown vessel. Unknown personnel boarding."

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/skipto 12:42:22
/skipping to 12:42:22...

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(gunshots and screaming)
"Where's the captain? I want him dead, maybe that will convince these idiots to stop resisting!"

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/skipto 13:02:00
/skipping to 13:01:00...

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"Alright, brand new ship, lot's of supplies. I think this might be the break we've been looking for Lynx."
"No, [censored]."
(gunshot)
"What the he-"
(gunshot)

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/skipto 13:16:21
/skipping to 13:16:21...

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"All actions have consequences, sparking reactions that echo throughout the cosmos. A single breath may send particles bouncing, changing the course of everything that may have happened. This concept has left scientists baffled at just how everything was made, spending years searching for reason to it all. If everything is a consequence of something else, how does the universe exist at all? But that stuff is boring.
You know what is cool though? Spaceships, laser cannons, jet-packs... I could go on. People always ask, "what's the point?" I'll tell you the point: kick-ass and save the thinking for the guys whose brains outweigh their conscience. We have enough to worry about out here in the far reaches of space, such as not getting shot by aforementioned laser cannons.
If you're looking for all the action of those old spaghetti-western films and think you've got the grit to dive feet first into hell and make it out by the skin of your teeth, you could try and be a bounty hunter, like me. Or if you're a brown-nosing goodie-two-shoes, you could try enlisting with the PRF, and just maybe you'll survive long enough to see all the dirty deals keeping the bureaucrats nice and cozy.
Either way, you made it all the way out here so you're in the crap now. Sorry I'm all you've got for a welcoming party but glamour is for the rich which you sure as hell ain't. Also I hope you don't mind the scorch marks or blood trails on your ship. The Raiders aren't keen on talking things out. I'll be taking this one with me, but uh... I'll leave you the rest. Good luck with whatever you do!"

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/stop
/stopping...