Session 3: Deez's Journal Entry 23

General Summary

Well son of a gun. After descending the mountain, we decided to re-ascend back to the summit to take a gander at this fancy airship that flew past us. Elgin, aka El Gin, aka The Gin, and Mirano, decide to take the lead to investigate this airship. bearded punks donning full plate armor and wielding great hammers combing the sector for whatever nonsense. They're all investigating this area. Dozens of them. Decorations on their armor shows a signet of a flame.
Children of the Inferno. Worshipers the Dwarven God of Creation, Moradin. Damn fire kids. The same punks that King Grun (king of the dwarves) is a part of. These people just lost their home and probably. just probably. not feeling too friendly to give us a ride back home, so we NOPE'd out of there and back down the mountain.
On our way down, using my SUPERIOR INTELLECT than these monkeys, we backtracked our steps and I guided us to a tunnel. Clearly it can't be my fault, but we got lost. But whatever, we found this tunnel and it has to be a shortcut from this travelling shitshow someone ELSE faulted for.
Inside this tunnel we find a corpse of a tiny person. I dubbed him Little Bits. Size of a gnome or a halfling. What was odd was that this skeleton was wearing clothes. Clearly Little Bits has been there for a little bit, his leather armor was rotting but there was no evidence of a physical battle on the armor. On his bits, we looted a short sword and 200 gold!
This tunnel-cave thing is a trippy trip. The stalac-titties (stalactites) were moving, despite no breeze within the tunnel. Arete decided to make it lit and shot his load of sacred flames to illuminate our path. No big deal because three fucking slimes decided to drop down and fight us. In two swift rounds the slimes were defeated. They had an interesting style where they could split upon death, when certain conditions were met. Krathag just fucking STOMPS one of the slimes and splats out to oblivion.
As we exit out the cave and into the open plains, miranro decides to fiddle with the telescope measuring apparatus. With insane deft skills, miranro successfully breaks the instrument. Skorpa picks up a faint purple radiant aura emanating from the tool, with ties to a celestial aura.
A mysterious elderly human male hails us as we continue our travel. Alone in his camp, dressed mostly in black with white hair and a white beard, equipped with a dashing cane with a silver top piece. His name is Inquisitor Hyramm, sent by King Lithilian , and his job is to find what happened to the Northern Ridge. As we divulged that we were on our way to Midport, he decided to join us, and poof 3 other figures in chainmail reveal themselves. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION.
As an act of good faith, Skorpa decided to heal Inquisitor Hymen's leg. Forcing himself upon Hymen, Skorpa rolled a nat 20 and had his way with the Hymen. The party makes their way towards Midport, with the mysterious dwarven encampments now encircling around Midport.
Will our heroes make it back to town safely? Did the bitch ass dwarves get what they deserved?! Will we decide to collectively shit in the almost-bottomless-bag, turn invisible, and dump it on an unsuspecting figure?!?!? Find out next on S-H-O-R-T B-U-S S-Q-U-A-D 6-9

Report Date

25 Feb 2020