Is this the birth of Paradiso’s newest and oldest football team?

Calista Marquez as a date with history...

On a misty December morning, I receive an unusual invitation. It comes via a messenger; a handsome man arrives at my door dressed in a large white loincloth with many feathers and paint tattoos upon his chiseled physique. He says he has a note from the Cacique of the Paradiso Taíno movement and passes me a letter. I am intrigued. Upon it there are drawings of balls made from swirls and stick figures dancing but further down in English it reads:

Calista Marquez.We have read your work for Paradiso: Uncovered and are most impressed. We would like to invite you visit us at the River’s Birth so you may report on our attempts to join the Paradiso FA. - Sincerely, Agüeybaná - Cacique of the Paradiso Taíno movement

I looked up from this paper to the strapping man staring expectantly at me and I thought to myself; Of course, this is a job for Calista Marquez! And there’s more than one thing I’d like to uncover here…

The RB1 leaves Brendantown Seeking the Taíno
River’s Birth it turns out is at the source of the great river, deep in the forest of Turtle Island. This would once have been near impossible to get to but with my messenger - turned guide - and the glories of Paradiso Bus Services (PBS) our journey was more feasible than ever. We took the RB1 upstream to Stepford, a trip that included passing the curious new stadium of the Paradiso Robots (a story for another time). This took many hours but on the comfortable catamaran with my lovely guide the time flew by. He said his name was Guacanagaríx but that was not always the case, he had grown up for a time in the poor side of Port Morgana and said his past life was not something he liked to dwell on. I asked him what to expect at River’s Birth and he kept saying it wasn’t his place to say and that Cacique Agüeybaná would explain all. We spent the night at a hotel in Stepford before the more challenging part of our journey began Guac showed me to a canoe he had tied up in on the outsiders of Stepford, it was well built with beautiful carvings but was much smaller than the PBS riverboats and noticeably lacking in an engine. It would not matter Guac was my engine! As the riverboats turned back to Brendantown and the buses left down the track to Port Morgana we were padding up stream deep into the jungle. Our second night was spent camped at the riverbank. Though I was nervous lacking such home comforts such things must be endured to uncover the scopes of Paradiso! Guac kept me safe, our camp was pitched in a clearing beside the river with carved stones holding back the jungle. The next day I was told we would reach River’s Birth. Seeming more relaxed Guac told me it was the spiritual home of all the rivers of Turtle Island and that was the reason why the Cacique had chosen it for their team’s home. I asked him to say more about this team, but he went quiet seemingly having said too much already. Guac and I spent long periods of time in silence but the gentle splashing sound of the paddle hitting the water, his great muscular body channeling the strength of his frame into river as to power us forward, was sound enough. With the calls of the birds and beasts of the jungle around us it made for another worldly experience. I was far way now from the bustle of the newsroom, the smoke of the capital, and the politics of the Paradiso FA. Welcome from a different age
Eventually, the forest began to clear and as the river became a small pool with many streams flowing into it. Ahead of us was a wooden jetty striking out from large clearing between two of the streams. In the clearing, there were many round houses made from logs with a broad round thatched roof. Guac shouted something which I did not understand, and a strutting figure emerged from one of these huts. He was dressed similar to Guac but with much more paint on his body and a large headpiece with tall bright vibrant feathers in it. This was Agüeybaná the Cacique, which loosely translates as Chief or King in English. He was older than Guac but he still looked physically strong. He had deep wise eyes which you could fall into. He welcomed me warmly, visibly happy that I had taken him up on his offer. He said I could interview him but only once Yahíma had arrived. Yahíma represented the women of the village and was very powerful he explained. He noted I must be tired from the travels, and it would be best to talk after rest. Guac had been feeding us with our supplies and fish he would catch every morning but at the village they had all kinds of crops and meats. In the evening there was a large BBQ with singing and dancing that went on for hours. I will not dwell too much on what I did, ate, and experienced there for it will both stick with me forever and is also hard to remember clearly…

A Taino village, image credit https://www.britannica.com/topic/Taino

Taino village, image credit https://www.britannica.com/topic/Taino The Spiritual Home of Paradiso Football
After a night in River’s Birth I awoke late in the day, dressed in exquisite clothes that left little to the imagination… after relocating my own clothes I was told it was time to talk with Agüeybaná and Yahíma. Agüeybaná was dressed less formally than yesterday, in fact some of his clothes were noticeably similar to what you would see in most of the coastal cities of Paradiso. Yahíma maintained some kind of traditional dress - a beautiful and bright apron with many small decorative shells. Her long dark hair swept over her shoulders and she had black swirling makeup under her piercing eyes. “Where do you want to begin?” asked Agüeybaná. I began my interview.

CM: Can you explain to our readers what the Paradiso Taíno movement is? A: Ah. Taíno is the name of the native people of the Caribbean who lived on these islands before Columbus arrived and the other Europeans tried to destroy their culture. Members of the Paradiso Taíno Movement work to revive the traditions of their ancestors. CM: Revive? What happened to the Taíno? Yahíma speaks with a soft but authoritative voice Y: The Taíno were devastated by disease and war. Columbus said about the Taíno that; “They were very well built, with very handsome bodies and very good faces...They do not carry arms or know them... They should be good servants.’” [Yahíma is visibly disturbed by this quote but the implications of the words and her emotive delivery cuts deep.] Over a period of but a couple of decades, the Conquistadors all but eliminated all remanence of the Taíno across all the islands of the Caribbean. Many say the Taíno are extinct but many, like ourselves, dispute that. CM: How can a people be extinct and not extinct? A: Small elements of Taíno culture have survived, particularly in places like this – in the remote areas of Paradiso. Some of us who have moved here have taken old Taíno names and work to keep alive this way of life. Y: DNA testing has also shown that there are many more people of Taíno descent than first thought. We don’t know for Paradiso but 61% of Puerto Ricans, up to 30% of Dominicans, and 33% of Cubans have some Taíno ancestry. Here at River’s Birth the Paradiso Taíno movement welcomes those Paradiseans who wish to rediscover their ancestors. We call it River’s Birth as it is close to the ancestral name for this place, it is the place where most of Turtle Island’s rivers flow from but also for us we hope our culture flows down these rivers too. CM: It is certainly an alluring way of life, can you tell me more about how the Taíno would have lived, how you live… Y: Of course. As you will note last night we have a strong sense of community and spirituality, we worship Zemís – spirits of the ancestors. There are many ceremonies and celebrations. Much of this happens in the Batéy. A: The Batéy is a special plaza, a center of ritual, but it also where we play the ball game of the same name. Batéy is in the DNA of these people. We play it whenever we can. There are many villages now that play it.

An example of a Batey CM: Ah! So I begin to understand, is this why you want to join the Paradiso FA? V: In part. Yes. It is no surprise to us to see a rival of football. Yes, football is coming to the islands but in some ways, it was always here! The British forced us to play Cricket to kill off Batey, it is ironic that football is returning. I wonder how many of those young Paradiso football players have the DNA of legendary Batey players of a forgotten age… CM: If you play Batey do you think these skills transfer over to football? A: Yes, very much so. In Batey you can never use your hands - the ball can only be hit with the shoulder, the elbow, the head, the hips, the buttock, or the knees. It is hard for us to adjust to playing with feet and not using our elbows, but this only gives us a unique style. We are superb from set-pieces! Agüeybaná is smiling at the thought of his Batey-football team hybrid. “Come let us go watch a game of Batey” He insists. The beautiful game
We leave the hut and return to the village plaza. Here many men and women are assembled in very little clothes holding a hard rubber ball. Now in the daylight I can see many paintings and carvings of the stone that make up the edges of the Batey. These are of animals and people; they form the boundaries of the rectangular pitch. There are 10 aside. Agüeybaná takes off his clothes and joins one of the teams, alongside Guac . Yahíma stays with me. I ask her if she can play, she says she plays a bit but prefers to watch – who can blame her.

Left: A Petroglyph of a bird at the Batey complex in Caguan, Puerto Rico. Similar to those at Rivers' Birth. Centre: Statue of Agüeybaná II, "El Bravo" in Ponce, Puerto Rico. Right: A Zemi Icon. Image credit - Wikipedia. The game is quite brutal. It felt both otherworldly while seeming eerily familiar. The ball is hard but does bounce, it is similar to a football in size. Much like football the game stops if the ball goes out of bounds. The crowd shouts Faltas! They also shout this when the ball comes to a stop. We have added a ref to some games says Yahíma but the crowd mostly keeps things in check. I learn from Yahíma that Batey has all the trappings of football; rivalries, star players, and even a fantasy league of sorts with people making bets on the outcomes of games. “We think that Batey was popular as it was used as a replacement for actual warfare” notes Yahíma. As the game comes to a close Gauc, Agüeybaná and the other players are bruised and bloody. Dripping with sweat from an intense game. Agüeybaná rejoins us after catching his breath. He asks if I am impressed. I am! I had not seen such raw brutal skill with a ball since my visit to The Tropicana Maximum Security Penitentiary.

A Batey game - image credit https://caneycircle.wordpress.com/ballgame/ Batey Club Paradiso
I must confess to the reader that I spent many more days with the Taíno of Paradiso but what I have to say on that is less likely to be published by Paradiso: Uncovered. All I will say is that women are thought of very highly. That the women live separately but visit the men when they wish... Yahíma is also a Cacique and throughout my time there it became clear she pulled all the strings. Indeed, as Yahíma notes the original Taíno cultures were matrilineal. I hear about her plans for the Taíno football club to be a vehicle to celebrate Taíno and promote Batey on the islands alongside Football.

Proposed crest for the club The Paradiso Taíno movement are asking other clubs to support their application to the Paradiso FA. They currently lack any backers. Agüeybaná's closing remarks to me were “Unlike many of the clubs in Paradiso we do not have any representatives able to fight our cause on Twitch or discord. We hope that only by you telling our story we have a chance to be part of the Paradiso FA.” And that is why I tell you this story readers. I only lament that to publish it I must return to Brendantown and leave my darling Guac behind. We part ways at Stepford, I know not if I will be covering Batey Club Paradiso in the future. The next chapter is up to you. Calista Marquez for Paradiso: Uncovered This account is purely fictitious as part of the world-building of the Paradiso Football Manager Database. It tries to be informative and respectful while maintaining the humor of the Paradiso world. If you want to find out more about the history of real-life Taíno people see: