RIVER PIRATES?!

Criminal Activity

Pirates on the river are thwarted with a booby trapped boat and waterbreathing after a bardic betrayal!

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HARK, I beseech the brethren of the noble order to aid me in my plight, for I am a merchant of GREAT RENOWN along the lower river Arget, and I hear rumor of DASTARDLY KNAVES who would seek to interrupt my business and deprive those like me of our hard-earned coin and expensive wares! While I bravely risked the trip northward sans-escort AMIDST GREAT PERIL, new information to reach my ears precludes a repeat of such risky practice on the return journey. I will pay handsomely for SKILLED GUARDIANS to assuage the risk for me and my company! - Elurur Isilielenion, Captain of the Good Ship INCUBIS, currently in port at Briggsfall.   (A note is tacked on top of the listing)   NOBLE GUARDIANS of ORDER and GOODNESS, I am in dire need of escort! My bookings are piling up, and I must make my way south, but no less than THREE other barges before me have embarked WITHOUT REACHING THEIR DESTINATIONS! This peril will end me, send me into ruin if I cannot run the river, and ruin of life and limb should I be set upon by these FOUL PIRATES! To this end I am INCREASING THE REWARD!!!   Reward:

1000 Gold up Front, 1000 additional upon safe arrival in Wellenelterbrocbegotterklistermiffinsbarterdock.   Participated: CODIT and Ross Fairweather   Report 0029 Filed at North Harbor Office   Proud Gnomish Towns! Pirates! Fire Syphon? By Ross Fairweather 1st Year Divination Wizard   The College of Divination has accepted and signed permissions for me to be an OSHA Guild Member! They are excited for the secrets the world has to share. Just hearing stories of magical honey and a Theme Park made by a promising and proud Gnome architect wizard; they are willing to fund my travels and use my travels for field study credits!   I arrived OSHA headquarters and found myself alone this time. I suppose West Lee, Beans, and company were out doing whatever guild members do here. I came across an amusing figure at the desk who was very fixed upon the OSHA handbook. I came across the post board and found an interesting post that is seemingly kept being updated with greater rewards. I inquired this, and the figure at the desk told me that oh yes, this is was a very particular promising adventure full of danger and uncertainty. He advised me that I would probably need backup.   Then a particular character came from behind the clerk desk and stared at me with interest. The characters name is CODIT. Interesting figure, with particular shiny green eyes and cold to the touch. I thought I felt death itself. What a valuable member to the entourage I thought!   We went to the port and came across the INCUBIS. A self-made ship, made decently by none other than Merchant Pirate Elurur Isilielenion. He greeted us with open arms alongside a Halfling Bard and Gnomish dye trader. The Halfling Bard make songs of our every movement it seems; and I would add the music was not very good, a curse to my ears!   Elurur mentioned that pirates were roaming between North Harbor and Wellenelterbrocbegotterklistermiffinsbarterdock. And that we would be allowed to rig the ship in order to repel any pirates that attempt to come aboard the ship and take his wares. He would hand us 500gp each and reassured us that there maybe more merchants able to give us items to make Pirates lives difficult once we reached North Harbor.   We approached North Harbor with the cursed singing, and I felt that my charm and wit was not able to dispel my distaste for the Halfling Bard. He realized this and seemingly kept voicing even more accursed songs about OSHA, CODIT, and I.   Once reaching North Harbor we decided to rig the ship by using a trap device that would have swords and blades swing perpendicular from the two masts. Any pirates moving across these platforms risk being serrated by blunt yet dulled blades. We also used the shields available from Elurur on top of the Crow’s Nest to be able to take cover in case of any missiles that came our way. The remaining items available from what Elurur had given us was five bolts to use with a ballista and pieces of equipment for a crossbow.   I took one of the bolts and went to the smithy. The gentleman greeted me and mentioned that he does not have anything that can properly fit and shoot the bolt I had in my possession, but he does know that the guard tower did use a ballista that may have the right fit for the bolts I have. I went to the guard tower and came across North Harbors finest, a Gnome and man that were willing to come down and let me know that they do indeed have a ballista. I met with the Commissar while dodging a left haymaker from him when I woke him up from his slumber. I would make a purchase of 400 gold pieces for the Ballista. And it came with move service! The guardsmen would help me take the ballista to the ship! I am very excited to use this ballista! As a wizard I normally don’t deal with weaponry of the Science and Physics sort. Before I took my leave from the Commissar, he mentioned that with the gold pieces they had the idea to move onto their next project: A Fire Syphon. This weaponry would be superior to the ballista and pirates would surely never think twice to enter this harbor.   As I was unloading the ballista, CODIT came back and kept asking, “Does anyone have any knowledge of where a pirate would attempt to board the ship?” They would continue asking the question, and I only hoped that CODIT would get the answer they want.   I would then go back into town to see if I could get a crossbow with the parts I have. I came across a peculiar being who did not mind being petted. Unfortunately, this humanoid was not able to offer me any solution to my crossbow issue. But I was able to buy off gluten free jerky from him. I tended the sale and went to the blacksmith to see if he could be of any service.   The blacksmith traded the parts for a new crossbow and 40 crossbow bolts for 20 gold pieces. I happily went back to the ship as I felt ready for the task and adventure ahead.   As I got the ballista ready, CODIT was making sure the traps were set. The bard kept playing his unfavorable music when CODIT approached him with intent. After an argument, the Halfling went on the run! It turns out he was a pirate spy! Elurur was oblivious to all of this, but CODIT was sure as hell wasn’t! They would jump into the waters and after a scuffle we were able to bring the bard to justice as he revealed the trap that gave the advantages to the pirating; wooden pikes that were placed strategically to impale the ship.   We would then embark with this knowledge to Wellenelterbrocbegotterklistermiffinsbarterdock and were able to remove enough traps for a safe passage for the ship. We would engage in battle, and the ballista would sing Glory and Death upon its enemies! One of the victims that took a direct blow was a Colossus! The colossus obviously angry that a bolt would pierce through his skin, came onto the ship. Through my nifty divination anticipation proclamation of emancipation taught by no other by Professor Ebenar of the College of divination; I was able to manipulate the Colossus’s destiny and get it scythed by our trap! Six bolts of magic missiles would leave to his demise. I would then shoot a magic missile unto a Monk that nearly mortally wounded CODIT. CODIT was able to chase and shoot a crossbow bolt onto the back of the monk and end its pirating life. An archer pirate was being stubborn and kept firing at us! He landed a piercing blow unto Elurer and I. I was struck laterally to my person. My ribs may feel fire and pain, but my soul was filled with rage and determination. I placed another bolt onto the ballista, targeted the archer, and he was struck with a direct hit that ended his demise.   The battle was done. The adventure proved glorious! And the gold sent to my pockets was not enough for me to continue with consciousness. When we made it to the guild hall at Wellenelterbrocbegotterklistermiffinsbarterdock, my adrenaline went back down and I passed out in front of everyone. I will sleep well, we did great, another adventure that good bards may sing and praise. But for now, I sleep. I sleep with a smile.   Gold Pieces given = 2000 GP CODIT = ? Received? Some Insurance thing, may alter their wage – Ross = 900 GP total, 100 for OSHA.