Tromatosh

Stranger! It's good to see you again, and I mean that metaphorically. What are you doing out here? Quickly, get in this kagg, we're going to get drinks.
Oh, you might be wondering what kind of drinks we're going to get. No? You're wondering how you got in the kagg? That's not on the curriculum. See that place in the distance all of the sudden? It seems to be a town built on a cliff. How that's possible without normal agriculture is a subject for another time.
Here we are. A town with a bar. Let's go inside! Don't worry about the kagg, it will get stolen before we're done drinking.
Golly. The inside of this bar is rather murky, innit? At least the hornheads are playing something nice. Are your ears bleeding already Stranger? Didn't know I was dealing with a lightweight. Tenderizer! Your finest swill, prettiest please!
Now that you've regained consciousness from the sonic shock, take a look at this Stranger. This black, milky liquid is the lifeblood of social interactions. The alcoholic beverage of the Embers. The lubricant of ice breaking. No, the glacier in the distance has nothing to do with my analogy. Don't look directly at the black dunes! They're listening, even in here. They can't know that we've made booze from their grains.
What's that? It smells like fish? What do you know about fish? They're all dead, except the ones that aren't. You might be a curious gorge, but I'm the one with the answers, damn it! Listen, just give the brew a taste.
...
Tastes like shit, right? That's the magic of Tromatosh, the swill to end all swills. It's so shitty, it can have chunks. You know, like a smoothie made of briny guts. Ever had fish liver oil? Of course not, they're extinct. However, the taste can be replicated through kyarwhal milk. Ah, those hornheads sure are a clever bunch.

Mechanics & Inner Workings

Well, first of all there is the Black salt. Any place that used to have oceans, you will instead find vast dunes of blackened salt. It gives tromatosh its signature overly salty taste. Plus, it's fermented (don't ask how they managed to ferment salt)
Then we have the kyarwhal milk, which serves to make it have actual nutritional value, and it nullifies the negative effects from black salt, which includes:

• Dehydration
• Irritation
• Skewed priorities
• Sudden desire to throw poo
• Lollygagging
• and bleeding armpits

So that's all nasty, but what's that noise? One moment Stranger, I need to check what all the ruckus is.

Manufacturing process

Stranger, I'm back, and I have dire tidings. The alcohol has run out. No more Tromatosh. We’re going to have to make more, or we will surely perish from boredom! The dwarfs are already contemplating suicide, WE MUST MAKE HASTE!

First, we must milk this kyarwhal. You do that, and don't worry about gloves. I will be back with the salt!

...I have returned with the-STRANGER! That's a male kyarwhal. You just...uhm, nevermind. I stumbled upon females on my way back and proceeded to milk them. Well, something told me I'd need it. Now dispose of that white stuff, and come with me!

Damn Stranger, it's worse than I thought! There's riot in the streets, and look! A baby is strangling its own mother with its umbilical cord! Follow me into the brewery, there's no time!

Right, first we have to mix the salt into the milk. Very good, now we have to put it into an air dried container and seal it.

All right Stranger, now...we wait. For how long? Let me just skip ahead.

Good news Stranger! We have Tromatosh again. It's been days, and the casualties keep rising. This should tide them over until they can make more. Our job here is done Stranger. Let's move on before they run out again.

History

I have nothing concrete to offer you Stranger. “History” is a garbled mess molested by the merciless tides of time. I do have some myths to share as to a possible origin, but again...nothing concrete.

• Some say that Ishtar herself looked upon the Mythos and was saddened by its current state. So, she whispered the recipe of tromatosh into every drunkards ear, so that they might stop eating suspicious mushrooms for their kicks. And then her twin sister, Eresh, showed up and garbled the recipe. Making it taste like rotten fish.
• There are those that tell of a man whose name was Tommy Trauma, and he hated his sober life. One good weather day, not a bad one, he decided to be torrid in his expression, and invent Tromatosh. Legend has it that his favorite concubine tasted the beverage, and immediately tried to commit suicide. This inspired Tommy Trauma to new heights, and he made it EVEN WORSE by using kyarwhal milk to “enhance” the flavor.
• And finally, there is the tale of a lonely dwarf who wanted to impress his mistress. His name was Ebrietus (no really) and he decided to be more than his silly name. He looked upon his mistress and invented a beverage for her. When she drank it, she immediately smothered him to death with her bosom.

Those are the most popular theories as to why everyone is a little more drunk these days. Did you say the town is burning again? Not our problem anymore Stranger. We're driving this stolen Kagg, towards a new article!

...what do you mean this is the same kagg we arrived in?

Item type

Consumable, Food / Drink

Creation Date

Fuck if I know, after the Bedlam at least.

Rarity

Practically omnipresent

Weight

How drunk do you wanna get?

Dimensions

All four of them if you drink enough of this shit

Base Price

Barely worth its own weight in krom.

Raw materials & Components

Black salt and kyarwhal milk (both fermented)

Tools

• A bucket, for milking the kyarwhals and storing the black salt

• Sealed container for fermentation.