Pyrite Sagus and the Wheel Of Cheese

Pyrite Sagus . A man of legend. A man of renown and power. Known across the lands as one of the most skilled and dangerous warriors to ever grace the planet.
Pyrite Sagus was bored.
As his fiery red locks flowed in the wind, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. He had been traveling for a few weeks, around the continent of Liberas . Apparently, there have been some caravans gone missing, along with similar incidents. The Nyaanic Council does not have many details about the situation, so they deemed the threat to either be Starhunters or your average bandit posse. So, being the kind and compassionate organization they are, the Nyaanic Council sent Pyrite to investigate. Because he was the closest.
And so, here Pyrite was, investigating, yet finding nothing. In the few weeks he’s been here, he has not caught a single useful piece of information to help him get to the bottom of whatever was causing the missing caravans.
The incidents stopped immediately as soon as he entered the continent.
Needless to say, Pyrite was a bit miffed. He had come all this way, and only to waste his time wandering the roads of where the caravans have gone missing. If there was anything he hated more than socializing, it was wasting time. He found those two ideas to be very similar.
As Pyrite was mulling over his thoughts, something on the road caught his blood-red eyes. The indents on the road made by caravans and their horses was much more...noticeable to say in the least. The tracks looked to be rushed and much more pronounced than your usual caravan imprints.
Pyrite narrows his eyes at the ground, crouching over and brushes his hand over the tracks. Nodding his head in confirmation, he sprints along the trail created by the caravan.
These tracks are fresh. Finally a lead. His thoughts echo inside his head, excited and thrilled that he’s finally found something useful.
The tracks ahead of him stop as he finally catches up to the caravan. No signs of life are seen at the wreck. Carriages are knocked over and torn apart. Some of the supplies are still intact, while others have been spilled across the ground.
“The goods are still here...this isn’t a bandit problem, that much is certain.” His gentle voice is the only sound heard in the forest.
Pyrite widens then narrows his eyes and immediately unsheathes Oathbringer, his one-handed obsidian longsword.
There isn’t a single sign of life here, no birds, not even insects...this isn’t a starhunter problem either…
Typically, if starhunters are the culprit of an attack, there are at least some form of wildlife present at the scene. The only time that wildlife are not present at the scene of the attack, is if a predator with an extremely dangerous presence was responsible.
Wonderful, I’m either dealing with a Nightstalker or a Dragon.
As he continues to observe the wreck, he hears movement near the cliff, quite a ways away from his position.
Pyrite dashes towards the cliffs, ready to slaughter the stupid beast that wasted his time. Based on his observations, he was dealing with a dragon. A recently matured one that is. Two factors helped him come to this conclusion. One, there were no bodies at the site, only blood and the remains of what used to be a caravan. Only dragons are capable of dealing that amount of destruction to a caravan. The factor that proved it was a recently matured dragon, was that it attacked the caravans around the area indiscriminately. The stupid thing thinks it can just eat people without consequence. Elder dragons know better.
When he finally arrived at the cliff, the scent of human remains filled his nostrils. Pyrite scowled. The scent practically saturated the air. The dragon was gorging itself on people like a Nyaanic church service in the afternoon. The eating of people was not part of the service just to be clear.
Pyrite climbed the rockwall and leapt to the top of the cliff, rolling across the ground before entering a combat stance.
He looked around, only to find a pile of human bones. Not a dragon in sight. He was confused for a second, before his breath hitched and he dove to the side.
A seismic quake shook the cliff as a fully grown silver yellow-eyed dragon smashed the previous spot Pyrite was in.
“...Well. You’re not as stupid as I thought you were.”
The dragon roared in indignation before it beat its wings and charged towards Pyrite.
Tch. The fact that I have to deal with any of this—
As the dragon thrusts his talons towards his chest, he jumps over the attack and slashes at its wrist.
—Really makes me want to drive my blade down its throat.
The dragon’s arms whips back a little, but not even a scratch is formed.
“...Joy.”
The beast growls ferociously before diving at Pyrite once again. It sweeps its arm across the ground, Pyrite leaps towards the dragon’s head, only to widen his eyes in slight shock as he sees golden flames bursting forth from between the dragon’s teeth.
Pyrite curses as a torrent of blazing heat sears across the front of his torso. Rolling across the ground, he manages to put out the flames on his upper body. Hissing in pain, he clenches his fists as his arms sizzle and his entire abdomen ripples in pain.
The dragon slowly faces towards him, accomplishment clear in his eyes. It snorts haughtily before veering his head back in shock as he watches the wounds on Pyrite’s body explode with puffs of steam. All of his critical wounds have been healed, only scars and minor injuries remain.
...At first it was merely a pain. Now? It’s going to be a bloodbath.
Pyrite bursts into motion and leaps toward the head of the dragon.
Its scales are harder than obsidian. Creativity is required if I’m gonna make this thing bleed.
The dragon recovers from its initial shock and snaps its jaws at Pyrite. He twists his body in mid-air before driving his blade into the eye of the dragon.
The dragon thrashes its head in pain and rage, only for Pyrite to dig his blade deeper. The beast slams his head onto the ground in an attempt to shatter Pyrite’s body. Pyrite rips Oathbringer out of its eye before jumping onto its back and slashes at its wings.
Only for his blade to bounce right off.
...This is going to be harder than I would like it to be.
Pyrite jumped off and ran for the cliffs. The dragon shook itself, tensed its wings and blasted a wave of air towards Pyrite, launching him straight off the cliff.
As Pyrite barreled through the air, he had some time to come up with a strategy.
There are only three places I could actually deal some damage, and all of them are high risk. The stupid beast is smart, I’ll give it that...If I can’t find any openings, I’ll make one.
When he finally hit the ground, he dispersed most of the force through a roll. Though not without leaving a mark of impact into the dirt. Pyrite layed on the ground until his bones stopped rattling.
The dragon is now hovering over the trees, jaws open and brimming with golden light.
Pyrite curses as he throws himself upward and dashes out of the trees. Yellow flames follow him out of the woods, before he arrives at the clearing of the wrecked caravan.
Then he was sent flying across the road and into some trees.
Coughing up blood and shaking from the hit he took, Pyrite looks up and sees the silver dragon with bloody talons stalking towards him. He attempts to stand up but winces at the fresh wounds that were raked across his body.
I need to end this soon, I can’t take much more of this.
As steam slowly starts to rise from Pyrite’s wounds, something interesting caught his eye. Before the dragon snapped its jaws, Pyrite threw a stale wheel of cheese as hard as he could at the dragon’s face.
It made direct contact and exploded into a yellow mist.
The dragon inhaled the cheese particles, causing it to choke and gag on the substance. As natural bodily reactions demand it, the dragon prepared to sneeze. With its jaws wide open, Pyrite leaped into its mouth and thrusts Oathbringer into its soft palate.
It cut through flesh like butter and sank into its head.
The dragon twitches for a brief moment before falling over dead. Pyrite crawls out of the mouth of the dragon and lays there, pondering about what led to today’s events. As he was laying there, covered in blood, burns, and dragon saliva, an eerie light enveloped Oathbringer. Silver wisps of light were sucked into the blade and dissipated soon after.
“...I killed a dragon with a wheel of cheese.”
A long, drawn out sigh escapes him.
Nyaan must be laughing right now.