An Opportunistic Encounter in Mythrite | World Anvil

An Opportunistic Encounter

The sweat dripped off of Nick Eldime’s furrowed brow as he fumbled with the broken clasp of the last safe deposit box in the vault. He had been working at this bank for about three months, casually skimming ever more daring amounts of gold from the coffers until yesterday’s meeting. All employees were interrogated and put on notice until the culprit was found, and this was his cue to grab what he could and get out.   Slinking into the bank through a window conveniently left open, Nick robbed the town of Loudwater blind. While this would put a target on Nick Eldime’s back aimed at by many, not the least of which being the Zhentarim, he wouldn’t be Nick Eldime for long. He wondered if the risk was worth it, plus the trouble of having to move again and change names, but the reward was simply too great to pass up. Plus, the old bastards had it coming. All this wealth and they just leave it sitting in these boxes, practically crying out for a more deserving owner.   Nick rushed back to his home, weighed down by the load slung over his shoulder and lightened by his newfound wealth. He had packed his bags after work and they sat in a small cart covered by a tarp. Tossing in the sack, he hitched Ferris Mueller to the cart and hopped onto his back. They would ride until the sun came up and the whole day after that as well. By the time anyone realized what had happened, Nick Eldime would be dust in the wind.   Traveling under cover of night left the two defenseless but unseen, and thankfully so. Throughout much of the journey, ominous rustling could be heard from either side of the path, though nothing came of it. Nick did his best to stay quiet and calm and ensure the same of Ferris Mueller.   Spending several silent hours ruminating on the results of his most recent con, Nick went over what worked, what didn’t, and what gave him away. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes next time. In fact, with tonight’s haul, he might only be a couple good months away from what he had determined to be the true mark of a rich man - 1,000,000 gold. That is, if he could sell the contents of the safe deposit boxes. Right now, his sack was filled with nothing more than things of supposed value, as well as all the gold he could carry. He had spent much of it renting his home in Loudwater and making a convincing persona. He wondered if the effort he put in was worth more than what he was losing. The job stability, his quaint little home and life as Nick Eldime, the friends he made during his few months in town… Snapping back to the moment, Nick saw a directional sign bathed in the late evening glow.   Waterdeep, the single most populated Zhentarim stronghold, seemed like the perfect place to hide. They’d never expect it. However, he couldn’t stay long. Some quick shopping and a warm meal later, Nick was prepared to continue on when the enticing smell of a good time snaked its way up his nostrils.   Finding himself in a tavern, Nick stopped to take a breath. Sitting at the bar next to him was a man who could have been his twin, though far better dressed. Introducing himself, he found the man to be a priest named Bartholomew Goodfellow, a charming young fellow that served Lathander, the god of birth and renewal. His incessant cheerfulness was off putting to say the least. Nick had begun to zone out, focusing more on his Hot Toddy and his frazzled nerves than whatever religious garbage the priest was spewing, only giving the occasional nod and “mhm” out of courtesy. His ears pricked up as the priest managed to pierce the fog. “...leaving tonight on the caravan to Mythrite. Have you heard of it?” Goodfellow inquired. “No, but tell me about it” Nick said, the gears beginning to turn. “It’s a new town in the mountains on top of a mythril motherlode. It’s about a month’s journey from here and I figure they could use some religion what with all the money grubbing and vice indulging that thrives outside civilization. I’ve got my bags packed and ready and at eight tonight, I’m getting on the caravan outside the town gates and starting the journey. Don’t know anyone else going yet but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to fix that” he finished, long winded as can be. In that moment, Nick knew what had to be done for him to escape with his fortune.   He wished Father Goodfellow the best, paid his tab, and left the crowded bar. Not long after, the priest left as well. He didn’t have time to scream as the garrote tightened around his neck. Slowly, painfully, the life drained from him and he crumpled to the ground. Nick Eldime was dead, but Father Goodfellow was more alive than ever.   While there was technically no blood on his hands, the murder weighed on him. Stealing was one thing, even from a group like the Zhentarim, but murder was a different ballpark. If he were to be caught, which of course he wouldn’t be, at least he wouldn’t have to spend any time in a cell. The priest was an unfortunate but necessary loss, as it would guarantee his clean getaway and set up his new life all in one.   Ferris Mueller, recognizing his owner despite the appearance change, dragged the cart to the edge of town. Father Goodfellow, no longer having need of a mule, sold him off to a man walking by at what he convinced him was a bargain, a mere ten gold pieces, having paid six for him originally. Adding this gold to his sack of loot, he loaded his belongings onto the wagon and prepared for a long month of studying religion.

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Mar 8, 2021 01:04

This story is interesting and tells a lot about the character. This is by no means a good person, and that's fine. However, there doesn't seem like there isn't a lot of places to go with the character's story. They don't seem like a person who will be able to become better as a person, and I really don't know how they could become worse. I'm not sure where you'll be able to go with this person, but I'm excited to see what you come up with.

Mar 8, 2021 01:36

It's interesting that the main character, Nick is a thief, which can be tricky to justify as an interesting character. I like the contrast between Nick as a nervous bank employee, while the thief Nick is a bit more cool and relaxed. It makes me interested in the character if he is capable enough to see through a farce of himself.   I like the swift imagery to describe their thief work, and it naturally fits given that thieves are like this to protect themselves.   I think the paragraph with how Nick finds himself in a cavern is a bit hard to follow as a whole, from what I understood, he discovers Mythrite this way, but I'm not quite sure what causes a murder to happen, it happens so suddenly that it's hard to fully understand the reason why. In my first read through, I thought Nick died, but now I'm not super sure.

Mar 8, 2021 04:36

They looked similar enough and Nick needed an out. He killed Father Goodfellow and took his identity and place on the caravan.

Mar 15, 2021 02:09

The way I GASPED at the reveal! You really succeeded with telling us everything that we need to know about the character; that they are a slimy, terrible person who will stop at nothing to get rich. The pacing was also really well done-as I said, the reveal did get to me (no wonder he's such a terrible preacher!). I think there were certain points that would have benefited through less telling and more showing. Don't be afraid to use more figurative language to help improve your story. Overall, I thought that this was a really fun read!