Homestead Gardening

'sup, Steadies? Your homegirl Charlie here with another guide on how to manage your homestead. Today, we go into your vegetable gardens. And no, I'm not talking about boring wheat farms or whatever Safe crop you're growing to count as being sufficiently self-sufficient. We're talking the good stuff here, juicy tomatoes, hot peppers, cool cucumbers, all that shizzle. So listen up, 'cause I have all the goods on the pitfalls to keep in mind!
Now we could start with the boring legal stuff, but then you'll turn off this vid, so we'll save that to the end! Don't fall asleep on me yet! Speaking of sleep, did you know most plants need sleep as well? I'm not even kidding, our green friends are as spoiled by life as we are. If you keep a plant awake all day, they won't flower! And no flower means no proper growth. Sure, some can handle, but most plants absolutely need their beauty sleep! So check the manual, but in doubt, make sure the plants can rest. Put a sheet over them, use a greenhouse with a toggleable filter, or just close the blinds! Remember, a well-rested plant is a producing plant! And a well-rested homesteader is a utopy!
So what's next? Well, we need to be down-to-earth here. Literally! See, the soil matters greatly for a plant. Recommendations are all about, each plant a different flavor of spoiled princess. So get your bins ready and soiled up, and frequently top off on those nutrients! No need to fertilize all the time, just sprinkle some support every now and then. And no overfeeding, we don't want the plants to get too spoiled.
Sidenote, did you know trees are masochistic? Seriously, if you want good fruit from one, you gotta make sure to starve them just the right way. No kinkshaming, but double-u-tee-aich, right? Again, disclaimer, check the guides! Don't blame me for your screw-ups, this ain't a walkthrough.
Anyway, back to business, to defeat the Huns! We don't want cross-contamination, which is even more reason to only use clean soil! Some of our green friends are sensitive after all. So make sure to only mix the ones that are really suited to be combined. And don't forget your cleanup crops! Gotta fix up your soil by planting a companion crop that provides the right nutrients straight back in! If you only plant the same crop, you'll exhaust the soil and will need a lot of stinky, unhealthy fertilizer. Be natural! It's cheaper and good for the soil!
Speaking of cross-contamination, here's the legal bit that actually is quite important. It's not just our own plants we gotta worry about, but also the rest of the world. We already effed up one planet, after all, let's not make it a second one as well! So check your Environmental Risk Ratings, as the Err comes with restrictions on how to grow each individual plant. Safe crops are okay to plant even in the native soil, so you can freeball those. Controlled crops you should keep within confinement, that rating is also called Vulnerable. Throw up a tarp around the door and don't just vent the air into the atmosphere, and you should be fine. Again, legal guides, blahblah, you know the drill. I'm not going back to jail!
And speaking of jails, did you know peppers are considered a Threat? Criminal, right? The spice must flow! Ahem. Too old a ref. Anyway, Threat Errs need a controlled environment, with an airlock of sorts and closed-circuit ventilation. See, if spores or seeds spread, they could cause problems for the local plants. So we gotta keep those bad boys locked up! They know what they did...
Oh, that reminds me of a special Err! The Hazard plants aren't dangerous to Ymir, but they attract the danger instead! That's right, we talking about the juicy stuff that smells so delightfully, it lures in the local wildlife! So unless you want to come home and find a Major snacking on your goodies, it's best to keep the Hazards strictly locked up as well. Heck, wash your clothing so you don't spread the smell everywhere! I'm not even kidding there, if the Ursas don't kill you, your neighbors will for bringing those close. Or worse, they'll exclude you from the monthly potluck! Sniff. It's been two years and they still won't forgive me... I'm sorry, I'm gonna go have a cry about that. Your homegirl Charlie, clocking off!
As always, find your relevant guide links here, here, and here. Remember to like and subscribe, and until next time, homesteadies!