Board of Directors

I'm Abby, Your Guide at Krap Inc

by Bea Cerojano

Today is time for you to learn about the Board of Directors. Yes, you know their names, careers, accomplishments and all the great things they have done for the Earth.

But they are also people, just like you. They have families. Like all humans, they craved, for example, immortality. The only difference between them and you is that they got eternal life. That's why they'll rule over us forever.


The Board of Directors wasn't always like we know it now. Before The Takeover, it had six members. After, it only had five. When Nour Bitar died, the other five sent a worldwide e-mail showing their sadness at the sudden departure of their beloved teammate and the driving force of The Takeover. But at the time, there wasn't much time for grieving, they had a planet to put in line, and that meant many, many, many meetings, planning and hard work.

On a very successful day, The Board of Directors made a big announcement. They presented on stage in the auditorium in this building you are now. It was a glorious moment for our company. The profit we made that year skyrocketed and hasn't dropped ever since. The Board of Directors had conquered death. They were immortal.

Of course, they were ready for the consequence of that kind of news. Our media and press team had a strategy that showed excellent results. Also, our security team executed their plan perfectly. Some minuscule rebellious groups tried to disprove The Board of Directors immortality. All of them promptly dealt with it.

Now, the five members are well beyond the age of any other human being who could hope to live. They remain exactly as they were when they announced their immortality. You have seen them, all your life. In interviews in the media, in your school, doing charity activities, or simply living a human life. They are going to be here forever. Isn't it wonderful? Aren't you happy and grateful they will keep this planet, and maybe others too, well organized and profitable?

Ayda Quaid

by Christina @

Hello, new employee! I'm the Director of Business Strategy.

I'm in charge of our Business Plan, and besides making sure our company remains financially sound, I'm also the designated supervisor of section A. I and 2 billion people form a happy family. I make sure they are safe. They obey me.

When I'm not working, I enjoy skydiving, mountain climbing and a good book. Like every other human being.

You can find me at [email protected]

Tristan Ward

by christian buehner

Hi, there! Welcome to our big family. I'm the Director of Operations and Logistics.

My role is to supervise the process that makes Krap Inc the most efficient organization on the planet. It's hard work, but my team makes it easy. Also, 3 billion people populate section B, where I'm their supervisor. Very efficient section. They are a sharp and focused bunch. I'm so proud of them. They would never do anything against my plans.

My hobbies are art collecting, winemaking and watching movies. I'm just a regular guy.
You can find me at [email protected]

Sarah Storrow

by Maria Lupan

We are so happy you are joining us! I'm the Director of Communications.

I'm in charge of planning and executing our Media and Brand Plan. It's so rewarding to see our brand consolidate decade after decade. My home is in section C along with other 3 billion neighbours. We have so much fun together! Because they always follow my lead, I know we will have fun forever.

I love race car driving, flying planes, and watching the sunset with my husband. Simple human pleasures.

You can find me at [email protected]

Esel Bakirov

by Jurica Koletić

Hey! It's lovely to see you here. I'm the Director of Human Resources.

Here at Krap Inc, we know our most valued asset is you. I work every day to ensure our employees' productivity. Because that's the only way to get profit. You know that's how we get happiness and fulfilment. Also, I'm the supervisor of section D and its 2 billion inhabitants. I consider all of them my best friends because they always do whatever is needed to please me.

I enjoy big-game hunting, and collecting antiques and puzzles. Normal things, like any other human.

You can find me at [email protected]

Jaelle Bagnall

by Daria Pimkina

Greetings! I'm the Director of Security.

For everyone to carry forward with their tasks, from The Board of Directors to you, the new employee, to be safe is essential. It is my duty to make sure everyone is doing their job. I have a weak spot for all the lovely people living in section E. 2 billion of them, and they know they are never alone because I'm always watching them.

My hobbies are horse racing, scuba diving and knitting. Common hobbies for humans like you and me.

You can find me at [email protected]

Nour Bitar

by Dane Wetton

We will miss you, Nour. Your work won't be forgotten. Everything that you did will live with us and the company's legacy. We promise we'll keep a piece of you in our hearts forever.

Your friends
Ayda, Tristan, Sarah, Esel and Jaelle

Cover image: by Kate Sade modified by Julian Ralid


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