Love and marriage

Romantic liaisons often lead to marriage, which may be motivated by love, political alliances, or societal expectations. Marriages are ceremonially conducted under the aegis of Lessada, involving vows of fidelity and traditional rituals.
Despite the cultural discouragement, premarital sex is common, and infidelity, while frowned upon, occurs. The societal norms allow for divorce and remarriage, highlighting a pragmatic approach to personal relationships within this culturally rich and diverse society.

Love, romance, and sex

Romantic relationships

In the world of Helerin, romantic relationships often precede marriage, with individuals possibly enjoying numerous romantic liaisons.
Romantic attraction and attachments between different species are exceedingly rare, considered taboo, and do not result in procreation. While cohabitation outside of marriage is not common, it is not viewed as taboo either.

Sex

Those attracted to the opposite sex are known as danmath. People attracted to their own sex are referred to as delanmath. Those attracted to both sexes are paranmath. Sexual preference is considered innate and (except with regard to dynastic marriage) largely unworthy of note.
Sexual relationships outside of marriage, though culturally frowned upon, are quite commonplace. Prostitution is frequently observed in larger towns and cities, reflecting a more pragmatic approach to sexual matters within society.

Marriage

Purpose of marriage

Many in Helerin marry for love, though it is not uncommon for pregnancy to expedite marriage proceedings. Marriages can also serve political, financial, or dynastic purposes, especially among powerful families and nobility who often engage in arranged marriages to forge alliances.
Same-sex marriages, while less common, do occur throughout the lands. As these unions will be childless, such marriages may be discouraged where dynastic concerns are involved.

Marriage practices

Marriages are traditionally solemnised in temples or shrines dedicated to Lessada, reflecting her dominion over marital unions. These ceremonies, conducted by priests of Lessada, are rich with symbolism and ritual. Couples are expected to have reached the age of adulthood, as recognized by a rite of passage, and the union must have the consent of all living parents.

The marriage ceremony is a vibrant and solemn occasion, featuring vows of fidelity that underscore the commitment each partner is making to the other. Central to the ceremony is the walking under an arch of flowers, symbolising new beginnings and the couple's entry into married life. Both individuals typically wear garlands of flowers and are dressed in their finest attire, enhancing the sanctity and festivity of the event.
During the ceremony, each party makes an offering to the temple, usually in the form of money, which is seen as a gesture of gratitude and support for the religious community.
For nomadic tribes such as the Fan-Shene, who lack permanent temples, temporary shrines to Lessada are constructed to carry out these rites.

After marriage

Renewal of vows

Couples traditionally renew their vows every five years; this is not mandatory but is strongly expected within the community. The absence of vow renewal is often perceived as indicative of marital issues.

Infidelity

Infidelity is severely reproached, seen as a direct affront to Lessada, and may lead to demands for atonement or penance by her priests.

Divorce and separation

Divorce is permissible, initiated by either party but only granted by a priest of Lessada.

Widowhood and remarriage

Remarriage is common, especially among the elite, except for the elderly. Following a spouse’s death, the widow is expected to remain unmarried for ten years, during which they will wear sombre, muted clothing.