Sex & Marriage

Sadly, Victorian attitudes often colour views of morality and behaviour in the Middle Ages–in reality Medieval society was quite sexual. Sex was a part of everyday life, generally being treated quite openly–as would be expected in a society with limited concepts of privacy. Punning jokes, rhymes and generally bawdiness were very common, with such images thoroughly penetrating popular thought and culture.

Premarital sex was very common, and amongst peasants near universal. This was primarily driven by the need for family (and thus extra hands), and for amusement; with most peasants only marrying when fertility was proven. The Church loathed this state of affairs–but could do little, although it tried increasingly to inspect all areas of sexual life through the confessional, and could impose strict punishments through the Canon Law system.

Throughout the Medieval period Church intrusion into the marital bed increased–even treating all sex between man and wife as adultery, if performed on Wednesdays to Sundays, feast days, during festivals such as Holy Week, fast days, during daylight. etc. Typically, only grudgingly, allowing the equivalent of sex once a week–although ‘pure’ virginity (even for married couples!) was much more highly preferred and vigorously promoted.

Sodomy was held the absolute worst crime– offenders having especially gruesome tortures reserved for them in Hell. Sodomy, due to its shocking criminality was always the first charge thrown at heretics, regardless of actual behaviour; although within all-male environments such as the church (particularly monastic institutions), and amongst ‘macho’ military circles, homo-eroticism flourished.

Medieval women were just as sexual as men (considered, and blamed by the Church as being far worse)–impotence even being cause for legal separation. Regardless of actual behaviour, marriage was the social norm and took two basic forms: Common Law and Holy Wedlock.

Common Law Marriage consisted of the public announcement by a couple that they were man and wife. Under Common (unwritten) law, this betrothal was a binding relationship, any offspring being legitimate with rights to inherit, etc. However, the Church intensely disliked such marriages and typically encouraged couples to solemnise their relationship with a religious service (and a fee). A separation could be effected by a decree of Divorce from Bed and Board, usually granted in cases such as of insanity, abandonment or violence; after which the couple were required to live apart with the ex wife continuing to receive support.

Holy Wedlock was a church ceremony presided over by an ordained priest. These marriages were regarded as permanently binding, divorce being unavailable. However, unions could be annulled under special circumstances for a large fee, although such occurrences were rare; while any children from such annulled marriages were considered legitimate. Annulment, due to the cost, was only available to the rich and powerful, and while common law marriages could be dissolved, wedlock was more restraining. Serfs (particularly female serfs) had to get permission (with a fee) to marry outside their lord’s lands; this usually being only required in the case of a church wedding. The reason being that the woman would take property and potential offspring out of the fief–so most peasants didn’t bother.

Dynastic hopes meant that many young noble folk found themselves betrothed in order to strengthen, or establish, political and military alliances between families. Similarly, wealthy commoners also arranged unions between their offspring for economic gain. Unions between a master’s daughter and a promising journeyman being very common.

Marriages were rarely romantically inspired, some nobles, or couples from wealthy common families, might not even meet until the wedding. Suitable dowries were always provided–even to dowries for a peasant girl of a few chickens, pigs or a cow, and were typically designed to provide a bride (through her husband) with security via land, money, or other valuables. Until the LF period any dowry became the husband’s property, after this he could administer and manage it–however the property remained the wife’s, being returned to her if the marriage was annulled. Needless to say, a wealthy heiress or a young lady with a handsome dowry would be hotly sought after and romantic allure would often be of secondary interest to her suitors.