"Hi Flame"
Original Song : "Hi Ren" by Ren
Filk by Tempest Kwake
Dialogue by Tempest Kwake & Sable Aradia
(discord ring, boop)
SABLE
Hey little sib. You okay? What’s going on?
TEMPEST
It’s… nothing. I just…
SABLE
It’s clearly not nothing. Come on, talk to me.
TEMPEST
(sigh) I guess… It’s the therapy bringing up some stuff. Stuff I don’t… want to deal with.
SABLE
It can do that. Why, what’s it bringing up?
TEMPEST
I guess I gotta tell someone… Here goes.
INNER FLAME
Hi lil’ flame,
It's been a little while,
Did you miss me?
You thought you'd burned me up, didn't you? Risky...
‘Cause I always come back
Deep down you know that...
Deep down you know I'm always in periphery
Flame, aren't you pleased to see me?
It's been years since we spoke, don’t you know you need me?
You're the sheep, I'm the shepherd
Not your place to lead me
Not your place to be biting off the hand that feeds me
TEMPEST
Hi flame
I've been taking some time to be different
I've been taking some time to be me
I've been taking some time to be by myself
Since the Overflow helped me be free
And I've been making some progress lately,
And I've learned some new coping skills
So I haven't really needed you much, man
I think we need to just step back and chill
INNER FLAME
Flame, you sound more insane than I do
You really think doctors are ever there to guide you?
Been through this a million times
Your mess of a mind is so perfect at always being lied to
Okay, take another pill, boy
Drown yourself in the sound of white noise
Follow your sister’s advice, rejoice!
All your problems will be gone! Filking dumb boy!
TEMPEST
Nah, flame, this time it's different, man, trust me
I feel like things might be falling in place
And my magic's been kinda doing bits too
Like I might actually do something great
And when I'm gone, maybe I'll be remembered
For doing something special in this world
That's why I don't think that we should talk man
Cause when you’re with me, it never seems to help
INNER FLAME
You think that you can extinguish me?
I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we
We are one, split in two, that makes one, so you see
You’ve got to kill you if you wanna kill me.
I'm not left over kindling, I don’t burn to the side,
Oh your magic is thriving? Delusional guy!
Where's your healing magic?
Where’s your Great House somewhere?
Where’s Incendium, flame?
Nowhere!
TEMPEST
Yeah but, my magic’s not heraldic like that
I’ve never chased numbers, statistics, or stats
I’d never write books for a publisher,
They’d never even read me
So why would I concern myself with that?
But my magic is really evolving,
And the people who need it respect it,
And for me that's enough 'cause this life's been tough
So it gives me a purpose I can rest in
INNER FLAME
Man you sound so pretentious!
Flame, your magic is so self-centered,
No one wants to read another book about
How much you hate yourself... trust me
You should be so lucky.
Having me inside you to guide you,
Remind you to manage expectations,
Provide you perspective,
That thing you neglected, I get it
You wanna be a big deal…
Next Doctor Tolkien? forget it
TEMPEST
Man it's not like that
INNER FLAME
Man it's just like that!
I'm inside you, you brat
TEMPEST
No it's not what you think,
When I write it’s like silk
INNER FLAME
Let me break the fourth wall by acknowledging this filk
Flame sits down,
Has a stroke of genius,
He wants to write a filk that was not done previous
A battle with his subconscious...
ECC did it
TEMPEST
Never been undead
INNER FLAME
Flame, you already did it!
Like, dude, you’re just a rip off writer
The great Filk Master? You can’t even write something original
Flame, dear, we've heard it all before
Ohh “long ago in days of yore!!"
TEMPEST
Filk you! I don't need you, I don't need to hear this,
‘Cause I'm fine by myself, I'm a genius!
And I will shine bright, and I will make light
And I'll shake up the whole world beneath us
INNER FLAME
That's right speak your truth,
Your filking god complex leaks out of you
It's refreshing to actually hear you say it!
Instead of downplay it...
“Oh writing is all about the creative process
And if people can find something to relate to
Within that then that's just a bonus!"
TEMPEST
Filk you, I’mma filking kill you, Flame!
INNER FLAME
Well filking kill me then
Let's filking have you, Flame
TEMPEST
I'mma do it, watch me fighting,
Who are you to doubt my writing?
‘Cause I call the shots I choose if you die
Yeah I call the shots and so I who choose who survives
And ashes to ashes when I'll lock you inside
INNER FLAME
News flash...
I was created at the dawn of creation,
I am vexation
I am the flame lit inside you,
I am the cause of your flaws
Combustor of things,
I am flame with no rhyme or reason,
Summer that’s burning, arsonist,
Wildfire, all I touch dies,
Conflagration,
Another nip bender,
Trickster and pretender,
Overflow’s attender
You’ve long since surrendered
And still you pretend that you deserve to exist
My name it is stitched to your lips so you see
I won't bow to the will of a mortal, feeble and normal
You wanna kill me? I'm eternal, immortal
I live in every decision you cause in your chaos
That causes division
You live inside death, the sib with no name
I am you, you are me, I am you, flame
TEMPEST
Hi flame... I've been taking some time to be different
I've been taking some time to be me
I've been taking some time to be by myself
And I've spent half my life free
But just as sure as all flame stops burning
Just as sure as each dawn brings day
Just as sure as storms pass and move on
I won’t let my past get in my way
I was made to be tested and twisted
I was made to be broken and burned
I was made for this realm, and if I’m overwhelmed
I will stand here and tell what I’ve learned
And you know me my will is eternal
And you know me you've met me before
Face to with my past I will prove I can last
And I will show you that I deserved more
And I go by many names also
Some people know me as “hope”
Some people know me as the words that you hear
When the silence has finally broke
And you know how I know how I know that I'll prosper?
‘Cause I stand here before you today
I have stood in your flames and cremated my shame
And I am no more afraid
So cower at the man I've become
When I sing from the top of my lungs
And I won't retire, I'll borrow your fire
Inspire the meek to be strong
And when I am gone I will rise
In the family that I left behind
Ferocious persistent, immortal like you
We're a coin with two different sides
TEMPEST
When I was 16 years old I let myself out of an empty room,
Onto a blank canvas, so I could escape the forces of evil,
And for the last 19 years I have suffered the consequences...
With nightmares and trauma, illness, and psychosis
SABLE
As we get older we realize that there are no real winners
Or no real losers in physiological warfare
But there are victims – and there are students
It’s not David verses Goliath, it's a pendulum eternally
Swaying between the dark and the light,
And the brighter the light shines, the darker the shadow it casts
TEMPEST
Yeah… it was never a battle for me to win, it’s an internal dance,
And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more I struggled
SABLE
And so you got older and you learned to relax,
And you learned to soften, and that dance got easier
It is this eternal waltz that separates human beings
From angels, from demons, from gods
TEMPEST
And I must not forget, we must not forget
BOTH
That we are human beings.
DIALOGUE
SABLE
Where are you?
TEMPEST
I’m at the Sekret Volcano Base.
SABLE
I’ll be right there. (teleport sounds and visuals)
SABLE
(hugs Tempest for a long time)
TEMPEST
(crying? Definitely upset, but what doing?)
SABLE
Okay hon, talk to me. What’s going on?
TEMPEST
I just… needed to think. I was supposed to do therapy today, but… I couldn’t. What if this happened there? It’s bad enough it happened with you.
SABLE
Oh Torch, you think I didn’t know this was happening? You think I didn’t see this coming? I read the files. Not just that… Wonder Clone Powers Activate, remember? I don’t think there’s much about you that I don’t know now… and there’s not much you don’t know about me. In a way, that’s… kinda terrifying. But in a way, it’s liberating. You haven’t run screaming yet, right? And neither have I.
TEMPEST
I forgot about that. Gods, ADHD is one helluva drug. (pokes Sable’s forehead) There’s nothing scarier up there than there is in here. (pokes own forehead) I just… You’re literally closer to me in some ways than even Buddha. Someone who hasn’t been in my head hearing all this gives me the squicks.
SABLE
But Tempest… that’s their job. And nobody goes into that job without a deep calling to help people, because it’s a hard job that can hurt sometimes; at least, if you care about your patients. I… have a little experience with that, from the time I served as a Wiccan minister. Did I ever tell you how I held the hand of one of my circle when she went for electroshock treatments for severe depression?
TEMPEST
Sable, my dear sister, I have been in your head. Of course I know. And you probably saw me holding the hand of my friend’s father while he fought his coma. Anyway.
SABLE
Okay. Then you also saw me holding Erin’s hand in his coma. And you saw me crying on New Year’s Eve the year I left home when my best friend tried to commit suicide in the apartment next door. And… well, what did those experiences have in common? How did I feel?
TEMPEST
Not much different than I did, when… Yeah. Okay.
SABLE
Exactly. Helpless. Frustrated at being unable to help. Full of love and strangled hope. You think your therapist doesn’t feel the same way, if you won’t let them in? You think I don’t?
TEMPEST
…I know this is my prejudice, but I still have trouble thinking of doctors as feeling people. I know that’s unfair.
SABLE
Sure, but it’s also perfectly natural, considering what you’ve been through. I know this is terrifying for you. I wish I knew a better way to do it. Do you think… you think maybe your therapist might be willing to change the setting? Something less clinical, maybe? To avoid the triggers?
TEMPEST
I bet she would, actually. She’s already calling things “recipes” instead of… ugh, “coping skills.” And she even finds me recipes, real ones, too. Some of them… aren’t great. But she’s trying.
SABLE
That makes me happy to know. I trust Velma, you see. I was sure she would find you someone you could probably connect to, someone who was willing to try different approaches. Look… Tempest… what happened to you was pretty unique, I guess, but not as unique as you might think. I… we have more in common than you think. Nobody took care of us until much later in life. Trusting someone to take care of me… it’s hard. It’s really hard. Trusting someone to see me being vulnerable… that’s harder still. I’m always terrified it’s going to be used against me, because it has been. But… there is no love without trust. I don’t expect you to be as vulnerable as I expect myself to be – have to be, if I want to use this gift I’ve been given – But you gotta trust someone.
TEMPEST
Can’t I just trust you? No, that’s… never mind. Goddamnit. (sigh) That’s the point. I have to trust someone who hasn’t been inside me - metaphorically or not - huh?
SABLE
(laugh) Yeah. Yeah, because I tried that, keeping it all inside, and it’s pretty much a lonely path, and… well, I have the ADHD and the IBS and the crazy Void powers now, so you know how that ended.
TEMPEST
(snort) So do I. Which… okay, maybe you have a point. Although most of the time I like my ADHD, even it is a pain in my entire very nice ass.
SABLE
(snort) Yeah, ditto… Although, you do have a very fine ass. I definitely got the shit end of the genetic lottery there. (snicker) Ah well, can’t win ‘em all, right? How about… how about you trust both of us? I think therapy works best when you have support from people who love you. Talk to her… then talk to me. Or Buddha. Or Sunny or Rowean; they have wisdom that helps me a lot. Let your therapist give you the recipes… we can help you make them.
TEMPEST
… Okay, but we’re going to have to buy you a Dongle so that we can play Critter Crossing together.
SABLE
(laugh) A few months ago, I would have said I don’t have time for video games… but that’s not the point, is it? I have all the time in the world for my sibling. If that’s what you need, you got it.
TEMPEST
Your face.
SABLE
(snort) …You know, you belong here. You really do. Whether you believe it or not.
(you belong plays)
-LATER-
BOTH
(long sighs) blah
TEMPEST
(sigh) … Hey, Lite Brite?
SABLE
Yeah, Rabscuttle?
TEMPEST
This is my brain? How did you get in here?
SABLE
Ummm…?
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