Harumi
Unbalance
Since my release from the control of the darkness, I have been readjusting to the changes that have been done to me.
The physical changes have been the easiest to accept. My eyesight is sharper. My sense of smell is stronger. My skin feels more resistant. I can feel fangs in my mouth. I can feel the sharpness of my nails, might be better to call them claws ...
Behind my eyes I can feel a dark beast lurking. It's quiet most of the time but when I get into close combat, when can feel my enemy in my claws, smell their flowing blood, that is when it jumps up and takes control. When it takes control, it doesn't stop until it has destroyed every living creature around it. I have been lucky so far. In all combat so far I have been able to keep my distance and use my magic. I have more control this way. What will happen once they see the monster I have lurking in my head? I believe Dredd will still accept me but what of the others?
The magical changes have been the most difficult to accept. It feels alien. I used to be able to use my magic to reach out and feel the magic of the world. Magic could flow freely between the world and myself. Now I am cutoff from the magic of the world. I can only take magic. I feel like a parasite. It is not natural. When I try to clear my mind and reach out with my magic, I can't hold my focus. Dark thoughts from the beast will intrude and break my concentration.
I need to get control. Dredd offered to help me. It might be time to take him up on his offer ...
Nightmares
Every night I go to sleep I dread it. There is no peace in sleep for me.
On good nights I am buried in memories of what has past: the night my tribe was taken, the many battles at the Horn, the night Bahamut was taken, the day Drachen left and those 3 wonderful years in the hands of the Empire. When I wake I lash out in fear, anger and confusion. Most of the time I only end up hurting myself but sometimes I will hurt anyone or anything around me. Since I found my freedom, my friendly pack of wolves have helped on those nights. They comfort and wake me before I go too deep into the nightmare.
On the bad nights Diabolos will visit me. The dream is always the same. There he stands in his dark majestic glory, with a black chalice in his hands. I know this chalice holds his power. He does not move to offer it to me. He is waiting for me to take it. I refuse.
Then comes the warriors, faceless and in matching armor. With weapons drawn they would attack me. I fight back to defend myself but they are too strong. I can hear their voices. They were taunting me for being weak, a disappointment to all and that I can't protect anyone. Over and over again. I can't take it, my will breaks and I turn to Diabolos. He smiles and offers me the chalice. This time I take it and drink deeply from it. It burns and tastes awful but I don't stop drinking. Once the chalice is empty, I hand it back to him.
With Diabolos' dark power running through my veins, I turn back to face my attackers but they run in fear. I laugh and cut them down. More warriors appear and I deal with them just as easily.
They send an army to fight me. This army is lead by a knight in silver armor and an enormous silver dragon. They attack with everything they have but they can't hurt me. I cut them down by the hundreds. I laugh as I make their deaths as slow and painful as possible.
I then turn to take on the dragon. He is ancient, wise and powerful but still no match for me. I dive under his jaw and sliced off his head.
Then comes the knight in silver. I wanted him to see me destroy his army. I wanted to crush his spirit just as much as his body. He was tough. He would take blow after blow but would not fall. We fought for what seemed like ages and I finally found an opening. I parried his sword and drove my hand straight through the armor into his chest. I rip out his heart and he falls to the ground dead.
I turn back to Diabolos and present him with the heart of the silver knight. He holds out his chalice and I place the heart in it. The heart starts to melt into dark energy. The energy would overflow the chalice and start to spread over the ground. I knew it would not stop till it covered the entire world. It kill every living thing it touches.
With no more need for me, Diabolos takes his power back so I could truly see what I had done. The army that stood against me were my tribesmen. I could even see my father's body in the carnage. The dragon I had kill was Bahamut. I knelt down next to the body of the silver knight and took off his helmet. The dead empty eyes of Drachen would look back at me.
And that is when I would wake up. In that moment there was only absolute terror. Why does he keep showing me this dream? Is it a warning or is it more of a promise what lies at the end of my current path.
I know it was his power that kept me alive in that prison and it is his power that I now use to defend my new comrades. How long can I keep using it without falling completely under his control? How long until I break?
I only know what I would be if I gave it up. Weak and helpless.
Something Familiar
The day started and I was informed by the group that they were heading to some ancient ruins to clear out some undead. This seemed nice, familiar and most of all straight forward. A simple quest to get rid of some monsters, like before this crystal business.
We set out into this wild land. I had never explored much around the prison. It was a beautiful land and it was calming to travel it.
We arrived at the ruins. It looked like some bandits had made a camp over it. I wonder if they knew it was there? Seems like the group had dealt with the bandits already so there was no way to know.
We descended into the ruins. I do not know what I expected but it was not to see the Chaos Shrine again. Worst of all, the gate was open. This shouldn't be possible. The Chaos Shrine is not supposed to be unlocked until all the crystals have been lit and the monsters at each temple defeated. This sent a shiver down my spine. So much for my straight forward monster hunt.
The temple looks like its being reclaimed by the ground. How long has the gate stood open?
We traveled room to room. Some of them look like they had old broken traps or tests.
We made out way deeper into the temple, finally coming across a holy chapel that had been defaced and there was a man sitting on a throne. I could smell the monster he was before he even spoke. He told us he was called The Oarsman, Archfiend of Earth, follower of Golbez. After a difficult battle we managed to defeat him. I wonder if this monster, or his master had sent the creature to attack us at the settlement? They must be connected to the crystals. Why else would he be at the Chaos Shrine.
During the battle Gregor had found a secret passage behind the throne. We descended below and found a well kept tomb. The place was surrounded by regal statues with a sarcophagus in the middle. The moment we entered the room, Dies was almost pulled to that sarcophagus, which the group helped him open. Inside was a mummified body with a beautiful crossbow on it. The moment Dies touched the crossbow, he was magically taken away. In the brief moment I saw he disappear, I recognized the magic. It was deific magic of the Goddess Minerva. How was that even possible? Who is this child to awaken the magic of a long dead greater Goddess? I hope he is well and we find him soon.
New Start?
I remember seeing Dredd coming down the stairs. It felt like a dream. Then came the rush of emotions. The anger, the sadness, and most of all the guilt. I lost control and lashed out at all of them. While I was trying to kill all of them, they saw Dredd's confusion and concern and they worked to stop and not kill me. What kind of companions has he found himself? They were certainly stronger than they looked. I couldn't overpower them. As I fell, Diabolos got angry and lashed out at them. I don't know if he managed to kill any of them.
Next thing I knew I was standing in a starry void with 3 other people. The first person I did not recognize. The second person looked like Vegetables but I couldn't be sure. I haven't seen him in a long time and he looks older than I remember. The last person I can't forget. I still can't look at him. The anger is gone but the guilt isn't. I hate this. It feels like another prison. I want out. Let me out! Then that crystal appeared. I didn't want this again and I took the crystal and threw it away.
When I woke up I was in a strange place, surrounded by Dredd and his friends. Before I could even get my barrings on what was going on, the settlement was attacked. The monster was focusing us crystal holders. A sign that this damn crystal was cursed. What would happen if I left. I would be in danger even if I left this crystal behind? Would I be placing its curse on these new people? I don't want innocent people to be put in danger.
After we killed the monster, I needed space. I left the encampment, found a nice, big tree and took out my frustrations on it. It was nice to be able to fully let my anger out without the guilt of hurting someone. Once I calmed down Dredd's friends slowly made their way over to me and my tree.
The first was a gentle giant that went by the name of Gregor. He was incredibly friendly and surprisingly held no grudge about my attempt to kill him. He even laughed and wanted to fight again. He had the most amazing of companions in a beautiful tiger that went by the name of Nibbs.
Then 2 more people came over. They introduced themselves as Yumomo Yumo and Zora. I apologized to both for my actions but they both brushed it off. They seem warm and kind. They then asked what I knew about the crystals. I felt cursed by them. Like they are a promise of more blood and death in my future. I feel guilty if my presence will cause them more danger. I have no where to go so I offer my assistance on their quest and to my surprise, they gladly accept it.
The group was then summoned over to a storage room. Dredd wanted to be put on trial for treason for his actions during our fight. I couldn't believe it. I was so angry and trying hard to control myself. He talked of second chances and now here he is asked to be executed?! He talked of his actions as part of the Dark Knights, something that happened over a 1000 years ago and he wants to be judged on it. I don't fully understand and neither do his comrades but it does not seem to matter. They judge him on his current behavior and actions and did not find them treasonous.
I retreat to my tree. There is too much going on, too many conflicting emotions. I just sit and try to clear my head. I take out the crystal and stare at it. Am I the cursed one, did I do something to bring this on myself?
The sky slowly gets darker and I call over the pack for company. I am always thankful for their presence. I settle in with them, still looking at the crystal. Time passes and the stars come out. I still can't sleep. Its just been too much.
I can smell him before I can hear the creaking of his armor. He is trying to be stealthy, its cute since we both know he never can be in that armor.
I call out "I am fine, just let me sleep". He stops "Ah, well... good. We had a Dire bear attack recently so it isn't safe by yourself... I uh... I was just making sure. I'll be over here... uh... Did you want me to leave? I don't want to bother you..." Dredd states preparing to move away.
I tuck my crystal into my bag. Maybe I am cursed but that doesn't mean I have to be alone.
"You are fine there." I call over ...
3 Years?!
"I haven't seen you since 3 years and 4 months." Dredd said it with such certainty that I did not doubt him. Why can't I remember?
I remember the day he left. It hurt to see him go and it hurt more to know it was my fault he had to go. With Bahamut gone I was weak and broken. I was left to lead the group at the Horn. This forced me back into the world. We continued to work on the defenses at the Horn and keeping the ritual going. About a month after he left the Empire arrived and they came in force. The resistance abandoned us. The ritual had turned the Horn into a giant beacon. We had built defenses to stop small groups of adventurers not to defend against an army. For every soldier we killed they could send 100 more. Our forces could not be replaced. They wore us down. I remember part of the battle. There was a last stand in the throne room. I remember being hit with a bullet in the shoulder and then it went dark.
When I woke up all I can remember is the pain and the questions. Over and over again. It all blurs together. Why can't I remember more?!
Eventually the questions stopped, then there was just the pain and the darkness. I don't know how long that last for. Was it days? Or months? Could it even have been years?
Then came the cell and the watchers. I hated them most of all. They would come, watch and watch and watch and take notes. I could hear them talking but I didn't know what they meant "Receptive Receptacle", "Abnormal Magical Level" and "Not Strong Enough". That enraged me most of all, always too weak.
Eventually I was transferred to another prison but the guards here were lax. I managed to get lose and I showed them how strong I actually was. I butchered them. I made them feel my pain. I enjoying doing that so much.
3 years. 3 years of hell but I am free now.
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