Session 90: The Heist With The Feist
The planned heist of the Frost Fair Blade from the Seventh Dawn is only a few days away, and Bast is dealing with something new; anxiety.
The crew and officers of the Starfall are a great many things, most of them positive. One thing they do not have in common with the captain and his spymaster is a history doing actual crimes, versus pantsing a local mascot or wearing the same color of separates. Bast mentioned this to the bit of ceiling containing Chmurka over breakfast, and learned he had been overheard when an invitation to “The Grandest Pre-Heist Planning Session in the History of Disorganized Crime” arrived at his cabin in the afternoon.
The invitation, a copy of which went out to all five officers, promises to help the guests of honor sort out their plans, sharpen their edges, train their brains, batten their hatches, and visualize their success. At 7 PM, the officers have been requested to visit the hold, where the Master of Ceremonies will meet them and whisk them away on a magical journey.
We join our brave adventurers as Yves arrives, putting all the officers in the same place right at seven o’clock…
***
Bast descends into the hold at the appointed time, invitation and an expression of...let's call it inquiry firmly in hand.
"First of all, I think we should vote on whether this is actually a crime when we're rectifying a crime instead." Orrey says.
Yves is damp. He is not commenting on it. He is very carefully not saying anything about that, in fact, as he drips his way inside. "Are we talking about the philosophical nature of crime, or the jurisdictional type? Because I'm pretty sure it's a crime in the second type."
"First of all, I think we should figure out what joker put these invitations together and decided we're calling it 'disorganized crime,'" replies a mildly disgruntled Linnet. "Yves, is the artificial gravity experiment still not going well?"
"It goes very well for about a minute at a time, and then..." Yves stares into the distance morosely. "...there are some details that need to be worked out. Especially because to date Diabolos is not interested in managing a water feature as his primary job. Even if we get him a title and add him to payroll. I asked." Bast turns to Orrey. "Instead of philosophizing about this, let's try a practical question. There was something you screwed up on the ship recon. What was it?"
"I did what now?" Orrey asks.
"...wow, Bast, that's a bit harsh. I'm pretty sure we all screwed up various bits of the recon mission, if we think about it." Linnet stops looking around the hold for the purported Master of Ceremonies and stands up straight, glaring at the captain.
"I don't remember any buildings falling over while we were doing recon," Yves notes. He discreetly attempts to wring water off his ears. "Is this about testing the captain's bed out?" Orrey asks.
Isa lifts an eyebrow.
Yves pauses, both hands around an ear. "You did WHAT in the bed? With WHO?"
Linnet sighs and passes Yves a towel. "Nothing important, and just him."
Bast nods in response. "I get the testing - low-stakes mission, not like we were getting shot if someone found us out. Leaving it looking that way? That was sloppy. Anyone who'd come in there would notice."
"That's... I mean, even if you're just, uh, 'doing' yourself, that's still very..." Yves takes the towel, and decides not to finish the sentence.
"When you see a giant, unoccupied, fluffy, gorgeous, plumply cushioned bed, you just HAVE to try it out. It's almost...oh. I didn't REMAKE the bed. Yeah, my bad on that one," Orrey says.
"OKAY WE ARE CHANGING THE SUBJECT NOW." Linnet resumes desperately searching for anyone else to enter the room.
"If this all falls apart because they have a plaster cast of your ass, you're never going to hear the end of it," Isa threatens.
"If they do, I'll be impressed. I guess I better put on a few pounds. Linnet, can you double my rations?" Orrey asks with a straight face.
"Only if you succeed in changing the subject."
"We should put that to bed, alright." Orrey says.
Bast does his best to look stern and captainly to reinforce the lesson while he waits for the...master of ceremonies?...to arrive. The double doors leading to the hold slowly slide open, though the interior is pitch black.
"If this is a horrible trap created by our enemies, at least we won't have to think about the pillows and..." Yves decides not to finish that sentence either. A moment later, twin spotlights flash on, both centered on a figure in a trim black suit with tails, an ostentatious top hat, and a cane. "Welcome, welcome, one and all!" River crows, spinning the cane as they approach, "to the Dress Rehearsal, and I simply must compliment you all on putting absolutely no additional effort into your dress. Well, most of you," they amend, giving the soggy viera an appraising look. "Not quite what I would have gone with, but then again, none of you have ever been brave enough." Linnet stands stock-still for a second, then flips River a pair of middle fingers. While grinning.
Isa merely moves them to the top of the list for practical combat training.
Yves squelches faintly.
Bast just rests his chin on his hands, waiting to see where this particular show goes.
"What would you recommend?" Orrey asks. "Behold!" they say, sliding up to Orrey, one arm around his shoulders, swinging the cane out to encompass the entirety of mankind's potential. "It is the day of the heist, and our brave adventurers, they are preparing for the most incredible bit of thievery and derring-do that has ever been derred or done. Their target, the Seventh Dawn, a ship of criminals opposing our ship of fools, sits in Yinha, waiting to be cracked. All our adventurers need to do is arrive."
Orrey stage whispers, "You're doing great!"
"And to do that, you need only follow me." One more gallant bow, and River sweeps into the hold, the spotlights following, the other lights slowly starting to rise. "If this is a trap," Yves whispers sidelong to Linnet, "at this point I want to know where it's going anyway." He follows River accordingly.
"Are we...we're leaving the War Room? OK we're leaving the War Room. Let me just grab my things..." Orrey putters around gathering his writing utensils and sketchbooks.
Bast tucks the invitation away and follows, with a wondering glance at the elaborate lighting setup.
Isa trails near the back, hands in her pockets and a dubious expression on her face. The lights shine on a reasonable recreation of the dock at Yinha, wires holding the pieces of the set in place from pulleys and rails in the ceiling, racks of lights shining down, though the blue and white colors mixing together to create a simulacrum of morning aren't usually in use for this purpose. Normally people are unloading boxes here. Instead, there is a painted backdrop of the Seventh Dawn, with a crane rigged from a series of pipes and coiled wires, mimicking the brackets that keep the ships locked in place. Orrey walks with Bast. "Is this usually how planning Heists goes?"
"A beautiful morning, just like any other!" River says.
Orrey raises his hand.
There's a lot of expression packed into the shrug Bast gives Orrey in response. It's about 70% bafflement.
"You're not in school, Orrey, just speak up," Linnet stage-whispers from behind his shoulder.
Yves stares at the set. Blinks several times. And concludes, finally, "...we need to plan all of our crimes this way."
Orrey nods thanks to Linnet. "Wouldn't night time be better for stealthiness?"
"It would, but most of the crew will probably be back on the ship at night," Bast points out. "As we know, the Dawn docks over open air, which is both a blessing and a curse. The first matter, then, is Gaining Access to the Dawn. We know, from extensive surveillance, that a docking platform is positioned from the walkway to the ship, allowing the crew to come and go as they please. However, with it being more easily watched, one must also consider an aerial approach, be that with our flighty chef Linnet..."
River undulates their whole body to throw the attention to the left, where one of the lights falls on Rahel in costume as Linnet, rigged with a barely-visible harness that allows her to drift (clumsily) above the ground.
"What's under the ship?" Orrey asks.
"I can't lift the rest of you, so aerial access is a me-only plan." Linnet gives Rahel a what are you doing look.
"I believe I can fly...with Diabolos's help." Orrey adds helpfully.
Isa walks in long arcs around the set, squatting from time to time to examine the angles. She has yet to comment.
"Oh, I'm not going to get to see this part when it actually happens," Yves says, sounding cheerier with every second of this...event. He wanders closer to watch Linnot drift into place. "...or another remarkable plan that we have yet to be alerted to," River says. "But this seems to be the heist's first challenge! How, precisely, will you get to the ship itself? HOW INDEED?!"
"What is under the ship? Another smaller, less interesting ship," River says to Orrey. "The docks are built as towers, with the largest ships in the middle, so as to inconvenience their undoubtedly rich captains the least."
"Could we somehow park the Meteor under the Dawn?" Orrey asks.
"Well, Bast has that jetpack now," Yves points out. And then looks hopefully to the air, in case Basn't is about to descend with prop jetpack.
"Linnet might be able to rig a rope or something, but climbing a rope up to a ship isn't exactly an everyday occurrence. I can fly myself over; it wouldn't be quiet. Orrey, you mentioned something about gravity?"
Orrey nods. "Diabolos can set the direction 'down' to be any direction. Like left or right becomes down. Does that make sense? We could climb a wall, or walk vertically up a rope or something." Fade/Yves — Today at 6:08 PM "But ask him to control one water feature as an ongoing rather than temporary process," Yves mutters under his breath.
Asking River to tone down the drama is like asking them not to breathe, so Linnet tries to tone down the desire to yell at the other sylph and pays attention to Orrey. "Can that start after we're already on the side of the ship somehow?"
"Hm." Bast looks over at the painted shipside. "Can you control how hard we'd go...'down'? So that we're slowly drifting up, say, instead of falling in reverse?"
"I don't think so..." Orrey says. To Linnet, he replies, "Yeah, we just place a black orb on whatever surface we want to be down. It could be done on the side of the ship." "Ah," River says, darting in between Bast and Linnet. "A question for our esteemed captain and our charming culinarian. There is talk of a distraction, a certain churning of the underworld. If that is to be done to provide cover, it would need to be done before trying to gain access to the ship itself. If the goal is to have as few eyes in this area as possible, of course, that would be a prelude to the heist."
"I can't tell if you're churning the criminal underworld or summoning Diabolos. Talk sense, dammit," Linnet implores River.
River sighs, and snaps their fingers.
"Alright. And for walking up the ship, we'd already need to be on it, which still leaves the question of how we get there." Bast resumes pacing until River jumps in with the question.
"Right, the distraction. I'm thinking we arrange things so that one side of the local...vegetable cartels?" Judging by his expression, Bast is still having trouble believing the words coming out of his mouth. "Shows up first, starts something with the crew, that sort of thing. And their rivals catch up, oh, about ten minutes later." A pair of flash pots erupt in the wings, and then a moogle connected to a set of very energetic sparklers strapped to their back zooms into the air, whirls around the set in a circle, and then dives right next to Linnet, opposite Bast. Dressed in a bold blue nautical coat, snazzy boots, and the Captain's Hat of Legend, Mogratheo commands the stage. "I have trust issues and a dark and stormy past," he mutters in the deepest voice he's ever used. "And I am going to make vegetable soup all over their asses."
There is a hard yank of a cable, and Mogratheo zooms away with a bit of a pained grunt from the harness.
Bast blinks slowly.
"Oh. That distraction. You seem to have it well in hand, of course, but anything that needs rehearsing, we'll mock it up today." Linnet's tense and distracted mood breaks when Mogratheo lands, as does her self-control.
From behind a plywood docking crane, there's a snort that could have come from Isa.
Yves applauds in delight. "So that's all settled! Diabolos wings, natural floating, and unnatural jetpacks."
"...make sure we're far away before the distraction crew is deployed, or I won't be able to keep a straight face," Linnet manages to gasp in between bursts of laughter.
"The Rude Tabagas." Orrey muses. "Which would then bring us to... Breaking And Entering."
The lights all go out.
("The Decapi-Taters?" Orrey writes that down.)
"Orrey, stop naming the distraction team, that's their own job," orders Linnet. "If we're breaking in from the outside in broad daylight, why the total darkness?"
Maniacal laughter rises up from somewhere, and there is a great deal of gears grinding and rapid footsteps, all around.
Yves scatters a few little droplets of water into the darkness as he applauds. When the lights come back on, the officers are standing in front of a row of windows, with a big sign reading 'STAIRS POINTING DOWN' to the right, then a door built into a fake wall. On the other side of the set there is the mockup of a deck, with another door built into it.
"It's so nice to be able to see you all do this part, since I won't be able to see you do it," Yves comments to Linnet.
"As long as you're there to get our butts out of there intact," Linnet replies, trying to connect the dots between "outside the ship" and "stairs pointing down" and so far failing.
"From the investigations, oh captain my captain, you have a variety of approaches," River says, draping an arm around the captain's shoulders. "There is, of course, any number of windows built into the Seventh Dawn, at multiple levels, be that the crew level or the captain's quarters themselves. There is also the door to the hold, however locked it may be, and locked it most certainly is. And if those stymie you, there is always the deck door, leading into the heart of the ship itself; possibly more heavily trafficked, likely not as secure as the others. Which approach? What could it be? Only time will tell..."
"Because I never will, because of the aforementioned trust issues," comes a grizzled voice through a megaphone from the darkness.
"My vote is for the captain's window. Not likely to be occupied," Orrey says.
Bast looks for something light to toss at the trust issues, but refrains. "Captain's cabin is closest to the vault, if I remember right. Not much point in detouring if we don't have the password or the keys."
He thinks for a moment, then raises a finger. "Actually. Before we're even on the ship, we want a good spot to observe who's leaving from. Meteor would be decent, but we probably don't want to draw attention to it by acting like tourists around it."
"Should we have one of the crew who's never been seen by the Dawn crew do it?" Orrey asks.
"Can't depend on being able to dock her within line of sight, either," Isa notes. "A ship that small it's first come first served for berths."
Bast nods to Isa. "Don't think we have anyone who's seen their officers, either, besides us. Better to find a spot that won't attract notice than count on not being recognized." "Ah yes," River says, crouching low and walking in front of Bast, "because the Seventh Dawn is crawling with the most dangerous villains the group has ever seen, with powers unknown and danger untold." They spin neatly on their glossy shoes, and points to the windows as they are carefully wheeled open to indicate the interior of the ship. They continue to narrate as the demonstration continues. "Be that..."
"Doctor Cid!" Ivy walks into the light, wearing a lab coat and a pair of glasses, which she adjusts on her nose before primly walking offstage.
"Byakko!" Mogni brandishes a crossbow into which he has loaded his hammer, which will almost certainly break something should it ever get fired.
"Genbu!" Trelle ambles out, wearing a pot upside down on her gray hoodie. She jots a note down in her book, and then trundles away.
"Suzaku!" Shula swaggers into the light, casually swirling a little spark of fire around her fingers.
"Seiryu!" Barea Jidoor gallivants in, festooned with plaid patterned scimitars, very slowly drawing and pantomiming slashing them before bowing as if he was born for this and departing.
"Cassiat!" Apoc, dressed in the most bog-standard Adventurer's Gear, flounces in. "I will take offense at everything and complicate everyone's existence for no discernible reason! Lawks!" and then faints, at which point Shula and Mogni drag him offstage. "You dorks." Linnet applauds. "Mogni, please put that damn crossbow down before you break everything here."
Yves claps a hand over his mouth to stifle some distinct snickering at the Cassiat impression.
"I didn't realize you wanted to get into a shouting match with me, Apoc." Orrey says.
Bast is openly snickering by the time the presentation gets to Genbu.
"While the officers will not all be present on the ship," River declares, "could someone be lying in wait for our thieves? Knowing who is and isn't there, now, that's invaluable information..."
"Lawks!" comes again from the wings.
"Apoc, shut up! Which we cannot presume to obtain because we do not have a mole on the ship...unless...hm." Linnet reaches into her pocket and pulls out a certain blue crystal.
"Or by seeing who leaves?" Bast gives Linnet a sideways look. "Peri's not on our side."
Linnet casts a look to the wings, then to Bast, and draws a hand across her throat indicating not now. "Once you have evaded any remaining officers or crew and slipped past the ship's defenses..." River says, eagerly, anxiously, hand raised to signal a scene change, waiting for the captain to acknowledge the advance.
"I mean, of course we're going to watch who leaves, but how long are we going to wait, and where?" asks Linnet.
Bast holds up a hand to forestall Linnet's questions for now, and gives a slight nod to River.
Linnet concedes the floor, for now. "Right. Well done, all of you, just please put the props back where you found them, and the next time Apoc says 'Lawks' someone whack him in the knee for me."
As the scene change gets under way, Bast leans over to Linnet and says quietly "We'll have some time to pick a spot before the Dawn arrives. And how long will depend on what we see."
The lights go out once again.
Yves might or might not be whispering Lawks to himself, but if he is, it's under the hand still clapped across his mouth.
(Linnet whacks him in the knee with the towel from earlier, but not very hard.)
When the lights come back up, they all stand in a large room, two false walls bracketing the wings, and one wall with four comically oversized keyholes surrounding what is certainly the same door that was the door in from the deck. "Breaching The Vault," River intones.
Yves stops snickering long enough to ooooo appreciatively at the giant keyholes.
Isa looks around herself, reasonably certain she was behind the set before the change. "Huh."
"Four locks for four keys, keys carried by the officers who will not all be present. A secret password unknown to all that allows the captain to enter herself. An alarm system linked to the auxiliary power." River raps their cane twice on the ground. "Will this be what stops our heist in its tracks, or will the captain's pluck and passion carry him through to victory and spoils?"
"Are we just blowing it up?" Orrey asks Bast.
Yves whispers, "Because of the aforementioned trust issues," and starts giggling to himself again. A spotlight swings over to the far side of the hold, where the elevated walkway for crane access holds two observers, one tall human in a blonde wig holding one of Artemicion's spears, and a viera in the blackest coat ever created and eleven pounds of costume jewelry.
"It's been four minutes," Lily says, making a show of checking her watch. "They're certainly in trouble without my martial expertise and stoic jaw. Ready to go save the day, Yves?"
"Oh, d-d-d-d-dear," Eiri mumbles, vibrating around in a slow circle.
"...hey."
"All right, Eiri, I'm waiting to see how you do the lightning," Linnet heckles gently.
Isa chuckles, and elbows Yves in the ribs.
"We might still be unnoticed by this point. And it's generally not a great idea to use breaching explosives when you have no cover." Bast holds up a metal grip in one hand; as he squeezes it, strips of metal whip out of his sleeve and form a drill-shaped cone around his hand that immediately spins up to speeds too fast to follow. He presses something in the vicinity of his belt buckle with his other hand, and the noise from the drill immediately disappears. After a few seconds, he turns off both the drill and the silence field.
Yves looks a little abashed. "...I need to ask about some of that jewelry afterward, I don't have a silver viera skull earring anywhere near as cool as that one."
"Later. Maybe over tea." Linnet nudges him in the opposite ribs. Still to Orrey, Bast continues: "Question for you and Linnet - how would you hold the door, if we get uninvited guests while I'm working on the vault?"
"Are we assuming they can't be talked down?"
"Gravity based spells, Stop, Slow, and Alpha Strike." Orrey rattles off. "Ultimate Armageddon as a backup."
"Yeah. Let's try to avoid talking as much as possible, can't disguise that. Absolutely no names."
"...ice spells, then. I read up on the fire as an absolute last resort, but...I really don't want to use that in a closed space." Linnet blanches.
Isa's eyebrows ratchet slowly higher as Orrey gives his strategy. Finally, she nods approvingly.
"Could we have CODE names?" Orrey asks Bast, letting the excitement show, finally.
"Honey, we were all on board already," Linnet points out. "And unless you're going to dye your hair, you're pretty recognizable."
"But...CODE NAMES." Orrey argues fiercely, looking over to the crew for support.
"Schtolteheim Reinbach it is." Linnet turns back to Bast. "Do Silence spells overlap?"
"Hence disguises." Bast nods with approval at Orrey's list. "Fine. You can come up with code names, Isa gets a veto."
"Peregrine gets a veto?" Orrey asks, watching for Isa's response.
"You could dye your hair," Yves tells Orrey. "Or at least wear a good hat. But dyeing would probably be more reliable, because hats can come off, and dye would last at least until the next shower."
"I'm down with dyeing. How about green?" Orrey asks.
Isa shrugs her acceptance of Peregrine, if not her enthusiasm.
"And fire would have some challenges, but if we need to pile on..." Bast drops a compact-looking metal disk that springs up into a small turret which immediately begins to fire a long jet in the direction of where the door would be on the ship, and is fortunately empty of set pieces here. He lets it mess with the lighting of the scene, orange shadows springing up around the edges, for a few seconds before turning it off.
"Sure, plenty of people have green hair," says Yves, in the voice of someone who hasn't spent a lot of time contemplating non-viera hair color overall.
"Shula, sit back down," Jasper can be heard to say.
"But I want one!" Shula protests.
"When each..." the top left keyhole peels away. "of the locks," the top right goes as well, "is finally," the bottom left vanishes, "conquered," and the bottom right follows suit, "they need only open the door." River rests their weight against the cane and tips the top hat forward at a jaunty angle, waiting by the door.
"Shula, assuming we survive this terrible idea, you and the Captain can confer about his cool toys when he gets back. Are we assuming the door's not pressure-trapped or anything silly like that?"
Linnet takes in the looks on everyone else's faces. "What? I got a little paranoid after that factory dust-up."
"I feel like they would have mentioned that security feature in the hard sell about its many benefits to the ungodly wealthy," Yves says, though not with full confidence.
"Linnet, I'll need you to time the silence while I'm drilling and probably take over with yours before mine runs out."
"I can do that."
Isa nods. "If there's extra security, it's aftermarket."
"So, we don't know about it. Okay. Once you've left a gaping hole in their vault, is it reasonable to assume that'll trigger an alarm?"
"How do we signal that something has gone horribly wrong and that we need Nova Dragon and Fuzz Boom?" Orrey waves at Isa and Yves as he finishes to indicate the rescue team.
"Presumably, we'll be too deep inside the ship for screams to carry effectively outside, and the same with a flare or something. So, um...have me bolt out a window and yell?" Linnet doesn't look happy with this plan, but it's a start.
Isa thinks. "If you can bolt out a window, you can launch a flare from it."
"I'll see if I can wreck the alarm while drilling in, but we should assume it'll fire by the time we're in," replies Bast.
"So, default emergency plan is 'get Linnet to a window.'"
Orrey nods to Linnet. "We've got most of them mapped out. We can find a path, hopefully unoccupied."
"Probably it would be best to get everyone a flare, so all you need is someone getting to a window. Or..." Yves' gaze goes a little distant. "If I just rig up some flares so that they can break through a window, you wouldn't need to get all that close, just close enough to aim in about that direction..."
"Too bad there's no way to signal like with Linnet's blue stone thing." Orrey sighs.
Yves reaches for his satchel. Realizing he's not carrying it, on account of the damp. "I mean, so long as they don't go off early while you're carrying them, it would be perfectly safe."
"Let's not rely on trying to break the Dawn's windows with what are supposed to be signal pyrotechnics. We'll figure it out. And the only person I can signal with the blue stone thing is already aboard." Linnet looks discontented. "Right, River, more to come?"
River taps the doorknob.
"You should probably aim to start regular undocking not long after we go in. If they're fast about it, you can fake some technical trouble on board to draw it out; if they're slow and we leave in a rush, there's the breakaway option."
"Would be ideal if you don't have to hang around by the Dawn to pick us up, just swoop in and go - but you'll be the judge of how to cut the timing there." Bast finishes that last over his shoulder as he walks up to and turns the doorknob.
Isa nods. "What do you think about incentivizing the dockmaster? Easier to control the timing, but maybe too memorable. We have the funds either way."
The door opens, and the wall on either side of it separates, and pulls away into the darkness. The walls bracketing the group wheel past them, new walls wheeling in on the other side of where the door used to be, and multiple cabinets, dressers, curios, and containers slide in from the wings, rise up from the floor, or lower down from the ceiling, each presenting a prop, most of which Linnet recognizes.
At the center of the room is a pedestal, and in that pedestal rests Lily's rapier, with fake snow drifting down from above.
(Linnet glances upward to see who's getting fake snow all over the hold.)
"Drawing the Blade," River says, two inches away from Bast's ear. "The object of the heist itself, there within your grasp."
Yves offers an appreciative little "ooo."
(Keke waves cheerfully down at Linnet, then continues delicately sprinkling faux snowflakes on the captain.)
"Sub-questions abound: is it trapped, how much of what is trapped, how much else are we attempting to snaffle in here, what exactly does the blade look like, are we trying to run away with a ten-foot sword stashed on somebody's back..." (Linnet's rambling.)
"Unfortunately, we know nothing of what awaits you in here," River says, circling the captain and the blade slowly, "be that what other treasures will tempt you to stray from the path of the righteous and down the path that rocks, or what countermeasures will be here to prevent you from taking what is rightfully someone else's before it becomes yours."
"Those were less questions for you and more for Bast, but, thank you."
River bows. "Your call," Bast tosses over his shoulder to Isa as he approaches the pedestal. "Shouldn't cost you anything to inspect the clamps, you can decide on whether applying some grease would be worthwhile from there." He makes a show of checking for traps. "If we need a rearguard in the vault, Orrey's best for that; Linnet, think you could help with checking what else we might have a use for? Next to the Blade, finding that relic is the highest priority."
"Is it too late to vote for the path that rocks?" Yves asks Bast, as long as everyone else is asking him questions too.
Bast turns a quizzical look towards Yves. "...what?"
Linnet looks bewildered. "If you have the slightest breeze-blasted idea what we're looking for as far as that relic, I'm happy to help."
"Should we have some bags or something to stuff the haul into?" Orrey asks.
"I don't know if we're looking for a shield, an astrolabe, another mask that's presumably not the one that will eat the world if given half a chance, one of Thalatte's sacred toenail clippings..." Linnet's staring at her toes like she expects an answer.
Yves waves vaguely toward the props. "I mean, if we grab things that don't look shiny like we know what they are, they know that someone who knows what they are grabbed them. If we grab just the blade, they may wonder why we didn't take anything else. I don't know. I'm just saying, it'd be nice to load up. If you're there anyway. With sacks or whatever."
"Oh definitely. Best not to be wrangling an unknown sword and who knows what else while doing aerial maneuvers. And no, Linnet, I don't know any more about what the relic looks like than you do."
"And thus our moral compass spins wildly out of control." Linnet sighs. "Right, we can probably fight over this part later. Once we have whatever we came for, how do we leave?"
"Back the way we came?" Orrey asks.
"Ideally the same way we came in. If there's too much resistance that way, closest alternate window would probably be the bridge, but it's more likely to be defended. So let's say we go down and try to break out through one of the windows in the hold as our first alternative."
"Exiting the Ship?" River asks, eyebrows waggling.
The lights go out.
"Exiting the ship in the dark, apparently," Linnet concludes.
"That makes it more exciting."
The spotlight rises on a fainting couch and a chair by an easel. Brandt sits in the chair, beret atop his purple wig, a satchel full of art supplies worn crossbody, borrowed sketchbooks sticking out. Ivy lounges provocatively on the fainting couch, arm up over her head, wearing a dress with a plunging neckline, impossible shoes, and a prop dagger situated somewhere very suggestively on her torso. “Oh, Orrey, paint me like one of your Saron girls.”
Brandt clears his throat. “Well, actually, the famed painter Ronsenburg Bosch specialized in painting tasteful nudes of Alternan women from Yinha 927 to Yoshuelje 931, and some of his finest work is captured in the book Lewdonarrative Dissonance published in—”
Ivy adjusts her hips slightly, and the neckline gets another six inches of plunge.
The spotlight dies.
Brandt swallows audibly. "Fair?" Orrey asks, skeptically.
“Someone is going to die,” Celeste declares from the wings.
"Who's Ivy supposed to be?" Orrey asks.
"Wait until the planning session's over, Celeste, then kill them," Linnet replies.
...then she smacks her face into her hand and doesn't answer Orrey.
"And that someone is Orrey," Celeste adds.
Yves mouths Lewdonarrative Dissonance to himself a few times.
The lights rise in full on the pre-vault set.
"With the Frost Fair Blade in hand, plus whatever remaining ill-be-gotten goods have fallen into the illest of hands," River says, spinning the cane dramatically, "our heist team beats a hasty retreat, because before they can even think about escaping the dock, they must first escape the Seventh Dawn itself. Will alarms have been raised? Will the officers descend upon them like Diabolos on anyone trying to sneak into the cookie jar? Will it be time to throw caution to the wind, or will they be able to calmly walk away, with not a single person the wiser?"
"Do you think Diabolos would want to guard a cookie jar?" Yves asks Isa, as the nearest person at this particular moment. "It doesn't really seem his style, but I haven't asked."
Isa gives Yves a look. "I don't think so, no."
"Not unless they're very heavy cookies." Orrey says.
"Never assume a clean getaway," Linnet answers River. "Isa, if at any point we're going to need your help, it'd be here, but I don't know how that'd work so don't count on that. Also don't count on deploying anything we picked up in there, which means...Bast, don't use up all your arsenal at the start...Orrey, don't burn through all your magic getting into the vault, please...and me, don't panic."
"Do we have Ether access?" Orrey asks.
"Stock up," replies Bast.
"If you need us to come in after you," Isa points out, "that's going to be it for any kind of clean getaway. Yves and I aren't built for quiet extractions."
"But of course, once you have successfully made it off of the ship, you are not fully safe," River says, "no matter how nice it would be if that was where the play ended. There is still the matter of... Fleeing the Scene."
"The Scene of the not-Crime." Orrey says, bringing things back full circle.
"I--well, I mean, I could--really, if I just--" Yves stops, and shakes his head. "What Isa said. Ready and willing to swoop in and provide assistance, but it's a loud way out. We're hoping you make it to the Meteor before that part."
"Okay, Orrey, this is why we need to get that one lawyer I mentioned to join up, it's a crime even if you don't want it to be. She explained that to me really clearly a few times! Even when I wasn't sober at all!"
"Semantics later! Escape patterns now!" Linnet pokes Yves in the ear. "We are not recruiting lawyers before we do crimes!"
"Not-crimes." Orrey says quietly. Slowly, ominously, a 1/20th scale model of the Seventh Dawn lowers down from the ceiling, the lights rotating to shine upon it. "The Seventh Dawn outguns us in our current state in every way, so this heist cannot be considered a true success until you are well away from the ship, free of any pursuit or any threat of any pursuit." River walks along its growing shadow. "To avoid bringing the wrath of the masks down upon your best and closest friends, it is up to you to pull this off fearlessly and flawlessly."
"I am far less worried about the wrath of the masks than I am about their current claimants." Linnet also pokes Orrey in the ear, for good measure.
Orrey swats playfully at Linnet's retreating pointer.
"Actually, before you do a crime is the best moment to already have a lawyer on retainer, or at least an established relationship with them and contact information, so that--oh wow," Yves says, completely losing track of that train of argument, "look at that! Nice work!"
"Isa, we need you piloting the Meteor," Bast clarifies. "We're running, not staying to fight, and once we're off the Dawn and flying over to you there's little they can do to catch us individually. Just watch out for that harpoon."
"If you've arrived on the Meteor, you need to get back to the Meteor and get out. If you can't for whatever reason, you need to get out of Yinha another way, or go to ground until the heat dies down, and you can trust Isa and Yves to come in after you," River says.
"If they die, I get to be the captain," Lily-as-Isa muses.
"Bast, have a succession plan in place before you leave, please," mutters Linnet.
"Oo, if Isa becomes the captain, I bet there'll be a lot more combat training sessions scheduled," Yves says brightly.
"Well, that's settled then," concludes Bast.
"Rahel's in charge on the Starfall while we're away. Celeste, meet with us after to pick a good rendezvous point if we can't make it to the Meteor off the Dawn," orders Bast.
"But I'm on the distraction team!" Rahel says, "flying" as Linnet around in circles in front of the Seventh Dawn model.
"Good point, let's not pile up too much there. Jasper, then."
Yves walks around the ominous model to admire it more closely, and see if there's a tiny Meteor ready to flee it. Ideally with a teeny tiny image of him on deck.
"Yves," Isa says sweetly, "I will fight you for the tiny Meteor." "Bast, there's a couple of points I'd like to go over as a tighter infiltration unit, if we're done here. You all are masters of your craft and, my heckling aside, you've done an absolute marvel of a job here. I'm a little unnerved, but mostly amazed. Bravo, bravissimo!" Linnet applauds heartily.
("As a tighter infiltration unit" is code for "not in front of all my friends here.") Orrey finds Ivy and asks "Are you wanting me to paint you? I mean, not like a Saron girl necessarily, whatever you mean by that, but generally speaking, a portrait or an action shot or something?"
...witnessing this, Linnet finds Celeste and starts negotiating the best place on the ship to hide a body.
Bast glances over at Celeste. "Please don't break him. Yet." "And you must rescue me from this terrible ship!" Jasmine, wearing a thick blue wig as Perilune, declares, rushing in from the wings to throw herself into Linnet's arms. Seeing as Jasmine is a head taller and twenty pounds heavier than Linnet, this mostly just knocks them both over.
"Will you let me fit the tiny Meteor with tiny engines so that in a pinch it can actually attack someone?" Yves asks Isa wistfully.
A 1/20th scale model of Meteor zips around the rafters of the hold, Clayton making fake engine sounds as he works the apparatus that powers it.
Linnet hauls herself up. "...screw it, if we're all going to be hanging around here for a while, we might as well get some snacks."
"And some drinks? Make it a pre-Heist party?" Orrey asks.
"I've killed before," Mogratheo gravels at Celeste's other elbow, opposite Bast, while still wearing the captain's hat.
Bast cranes his neck slowly around Celeste, giving Mogratheo a long look with his pom hanging off to the side, before straightening up again with a much put-upon "Actors."
The crew and officers of the Starfall are a great many things, most of them positive. One thing they do not have in common with the captain and his spymaster is a history doing actual crimes, versus pantsing a local mascot or wearing the same color of separates. Bast mentioned this to the bit of ceiling containing Chmurka over breakfast, and learned he had been overheard when an invitation to “The Grandest Pre-Heist Planning Session in the History of Disorganized Crime” arrived at his cabin in the afternoon.
The invitation, a copy of which went out to all five officers, promises to help the guests of honor sort out their plans, sharpen their edges, train their brains, batten their hatches, and visualize their success. At 7 PM, the officers have been requested to visit the hold, where the Master of Ceremonies will meet them and whisk them away on a magical journey.
We join our brave adventurers as Yves arrives, putting all the officers in the same place right at seven o’clock…
***
Bast descends into the hold at the appointed time, invitation and an expression of...let's call it inquiry firmly in hand.
"First of all, I think we should vote on whether this is actually a crime when we're rectifying a crime instead." Orrey says.
Yves is damp. He is not commenting on it. He is very carefully not saying anything about that, in fact, as he drips his way inside. "Are we talking about the philosophical nature of crime, or the jurisdictional type? Because I'm pretty sure it's a crime in the second type."
"First of all, I think we should figure out what joker put these invitations together and decided we're calling it 'disorganized crime,'" replies a mildly disgruntled Linnet. "Yves, is the artificial gravity experiment still not going well?"
"It goes very well for about a minute at a time, and then..." Yves stares into the distance morosely. "...there are some details that need to be worked out. Especially because to date Diabolos is not interested in managing a water feature as his primary job. Even if we get him a title and add him to payroll. I asked." Bast turns to Orrey. "Instead of philosophizing about this, let's try a practical question. There was something you screwed up on the ship recon. What was it?"
"I did what now?" Orrey asks.
"...wow, Bast, that's a bit harsh. I'm pretty sure we all screwed up various bits of the recon mission, if we think about it." Linnet stops looking around the hold for the purported Master of Ceremonies and stands up straight, glaring at the captain.
"I don't remember any buildings falling over while we were doing recon," Yves notes. He discreetly attempts to wring water off his ears. "Is this about testing the captain's bed out?" Orrey asks.
Isa lifts an eyebrow.
Yves pauses, both hands around an ear. "You did WHAT in the bed? With WHO?"
Linnet sighs and passes Yves a towel. "Nothing important, and just him."
Bast nods in response. "I get the testing - low-stakes mission, not like we were getting shot if someone found us out. Leaving it looking that way? That was sloppy. Anyone who'd come in there would notice."
"That's... I mean, even if you're just, uh, 'doing' yourself, that's still very..." Yves takes the towel, and decides not to finish the sentence.
"When you see a giant, unoccupied, fluffy, gorgeous, plumply cushioned bed, you just HAVE to try it out. It's almost...oh. I didn't REMAKE the bed. Yeah, my bad on that one," Orrey says.
"OKAY WE ARE CHANGING THE SUBJECT NOW." Linnet resumes desperately searching for anyone else to enter the room.
"If this all falls apart because they have a plaster cast of your ass, you're never going to hear the end of it," Isa threatens.
"If they do, I'll be impressed. I guess I better put on a few pounds. Linnet, can you double my rations?" Orrey asks with a straight face.
"Only if you succeed in changing the subject."
"We should put that to bed, alright." Orrey says.
Bast does his best to look stern and captainly to reinforce the lesson while he waits for the...master of ceremonies?...to arrive. The double doors leading to the hold slowly slide open, though the interior is pitch black.
"If this is a horrible trap created by our enemies, at least we won't have to think about the pillows and..." Yves decides not to finish that sentence either. A moment later, twin spotlights flash on, both centered on a figure in a trim black suit with tails, an ostentatious top hat, and a cane. "Welcome, welcome, one and all!" River crows, spinning the cane as they approach, "to the Dress Rehearsal, and I simply must compliment you all on putting absolutely no additional effort into your dress. Well, most of you," they amend, giving the soggy viera an appraising look. "Not quite what I would have gone with, but then again, none of you have ever been brave enough." Linnet stands stock-still for a second, then flips River a pair of middle fingers. While grinning.
Isa merely moves them to the top of the list for practical combat training.
Yves squelches faintly.
Bast just rests his chin on his hands, waiting to see where this particular show goes.
"What would you recommend?" Orrey asks. "Behold!" they say, sliding up to Orrey, one arm around his shoulders, swinging the cane out to encompass the entirety of mankind's potential. "It is the day of the heist, and our brave adventurers, they are preparing for the most incredible bit of thievery and derring-do that has ever been derred or done. Their target, the Seventh Dawn, a ship of criminals opposing our ship of fools, sits in Yinha, waiting to be cracked. All our adventurers need to do is arrive."
Orrey stage whispers, "You're doing great!"
"And to do that, you need only follow me." One more gallant bow, and River sweeps into the hold, the spotlights following, the other lights slowly starting to rise. "If this is a trap," Yves whispers sidelong to Linnet, "at this point I want to know where it's going anyway." He follows River accordingly.
"Are we...we're leaving the War Room? OK we're leaving the War Room. Let me just grab my things..." Orrey putters around gathering his writing utensils and sketchbooks.
Bast tucks the invitation away and follows, with a wondering glance at the elaborate lighting setup.
Isa trails near the back, hands in her pockets and a dubious expression on her face. The lights shine on a reasonable recreation of the dock at Yinha, wires holding the pieces of the set in place from pulleys and rails in the ceiling, racks of lights shining down, though the blue and white colors mixing together to create a simulacrum of morning aren't usually in use for this purpose. Normally people are unloading boxes here. Instead, there is a painted backdrop of the Seventh Dawn, with a crane rigged from a series of pipes and coiled wires, mimicking the brackets that keep the ships locked in place. Orrey walks with Bast. "Is this usually how planning Heists goes?"
"A beautiful morning, just like any other!" River says.
Orrey raises his hand.
There's a lot of expression packed into the shrug Bast gives Orrey in response. It's about 70% bafflement.
"You're not in school, Orrey, just speak up," Linnet stage-whispers from behind his shoulder.
Yves stares at the set. Blinks several times. And concludes, finally, "...we need to plan all of our crimes this way."
Orrey nods thanks to Linnet. "Wouldn't night time be better for stealthiness?"
"It would, but most of the crew will probably be back on the ship at night," Bast points out. "As we know, the Dawn docks over open air, which is both a blessing and a curse. The first matter, then, is Gaining Access to the Dawn. We know, from extensive surveillance, that a docking platform is positioned from the walkway to the ship, allowing the crew to come and go as they please. However, with it being more easily watched, one must also consider an aerial approach, be that with our flighty chef Linnet..."
River undulates their whole body to throw the attention to the left, where one of the lights falls on Rahel in costume as Linnet, rigged with a barely-visible harness that allows her to drift (clumsily) above the ground.
"What's under the ship?" Orrey asks.
"I can't lift the rest of you, so aerial access is a me-only plan." Linnet gives Rahel a what are you doing look.
"I believe I can fly...with Diabolos's help." Orrey adds helpfully.
Isa walks in long arcs around the set, squatting from time to time to examine the angles. She has yet to comment.
"Oh, I'm not going to get to see this part when it actually happens," Yves says, sounding cheerier with every second of this...event. He wanders closer to watch Linnot drift into place. "...or another remarkable plan that we have yet to be alerted to," River says. "But this seems to be the heist's first challenge! How, precisely, will you get to the ship itself? HOW INDEED?!"
"What is under the ship? Another smaller, less interesting ship," River says to Orrey. "The docks are built as towers, with the largest ships in the middle, so as to inconvenience their undoubtedly rich captains the least."
"Could we somehow park the Meteor under the Dawn?" Orrey asks.
"Well, Bast has that jetpack now," Yves points out. And then looks hopefully to the air, in case Basn't is about to descend with prop jetpack.
"Linnet might be able to rig a rope or something, but climbing a rope up to a ship isn't exactly an everyday occurrence. I can fly myself over; it wouldn't be quiet. Orrey, you mentioned something about gravity?"
Orrey nods. "Diabolos can set the direction 'down' to be any direction. Like left or right becomes down. Does that make sense? We could climb a wall, or walk vertically up a rope or something." Fade/Yves — Today at 6:08 PM "But ask him to control one water feature as an ongoing rather than temporary process," Yves mutters under his breath.
Asking River to tone down the drama is like asking them not to breathe, so Linnet tries to tone down the desire to yell at the other sylph and pays attention to Orrey. "Can that start after we're already on the side of the ship somehow?"
"Hm." Bast looks over at the painted shipside. "Can you control how hard we'd go...'down'? So that we're slowly drifting up, say, instead of falling in reverse?"
"I don't think so..." Orrey says. To Linnet, he replies, "Yeah, we just place a black orb on whatever surface we want to be down. It could be done on the side of the ship." "Ah," River says, darting in between Bast and Linnet. "A question for our esteemed captain and our charming culinarian. There is talk of a distraction, a certain churning of the underworld. If that is to be done to provide cover, it would need to be done before trying to gain access to the ship itself. If the goal is to have as few eyes in this area as possible, of course, that would be a prelude to the heist."
"I can't tell if you're churning the criminal underworld or summoning Diabolos. Talk sense, dammit," Linnet implores River.
River sighs, and snaps their fingers.
"Alright. And for walking up the ship, we'd already need to be on it, which still leaves the question of how we get there." Bast resumes pacing until River jumps in with the question.
"Right, the distraction. I'm thinking we arrange things so that one side of the local...vegetable cartels?" Judging by his expression, Bast is still having trouble believing the words coming out of his mouth. "Shows up first, starts something with the crew, that sort of thing. And their rivals catch up, oh, about ten minutes later." A pair of flash pots erupt in the wings, and then a moogle connected to a set of very energetic sparklers strapped to their back zooms into the air, whirls around the set in a circle, and then dives right next to Linnet, opposite Bast. Dressed in a bold blue nautical coat, snazzy boots, and the Captain's Hat of Legend, Mogratheo commands the stage. "I have trust issues and a dark and stormy past," he mutters in the deepest voice he's ever used. "And I am going to make vegetable soup all over their asses."
There is a hard yank of a cable, and Mogratheo zooms away with a bit of a pained grunt from the harness.
Bast blinks slowly.
"Oh. That distraction. You seem to have it well in hand, of course, but anything that needs rehearsing, we'll mock it up today." Linnet's tense and distracted mood breaks when Mogratheo lands, as does her self-control.
From behind a plywood docking crane, there's a snort that could have come from Isa.
Yves applauds in delight. "So that's all settled! Diabolos wings, natural floating, and unnatural jetpacks."
"...make sure we're far away before the distraction crew is deployed, or I won't be able to keep a straight face," Linnet manages to gasp in between bursts of laughter.
"The Rude Tabagas." Orrey muses. "Which would then bring us to... Breaking And Entering."
The lights all go out.
("The Decapi-Taters?" Orrey writes that down.)
"Orrey, stop naming the distraction team, that's their own job," orders Linnet. "If we're breaking in from the outside in broad daylight, why the total darkness?"
Maniacal laughter rises up from somewhere, and there is a great deal of gears grinding and rapid footsteps, all around.
Yves scatters a few little droplets of water into the darkness as he applauds. When the lights come back on, the officers are standing in front of a row of windows, with a big sign reading 'STAIRS POINTING DOWN' to the right, then a door built into a fake wall. On the other side of the set there is the mockup of a deck, with another door built into it.
"It's so nice to be able to see you all do this part, since I won't be able to see you do it," Yves comments to Linnet.
"As long as you're there to get our butts out of there intact," Linnet replies, trying to connect the dots between "outside the ship" and "stairs pointing down" and so far failing.
"From the investigations, oh captain my captain, you have a variety of approaches," River says, draping an arm around the captain's shoulders. "There is, of course, any number of windows built into the Seventh Dawn, at multiple levels, be that the crew level or the captain's quarters themselves. There is also the door to the hold, however locked it may be, and locked it most certainly is. And if those stymie you, there is always the deck door, leading into the heart of the ship itself; possibly more heavily trafficked, likely not as secure as the others. Which approach? What could it be? Only time will tell..."
"Because I never will, because of the aforementioned trust issues," comes a grizzled voice through a megaphone from the darkness.
"My vote is for the captain's window. Not likely to be occupied," Orrey says.
Bast looks for something light to toss at the trust issues, but refrains. "Captain's cabin is closest to the vault, if I remember right. Not much point in detouring if we don't have the password or the keys."
He thinks for a moment, then raises a finger. "Actually. Before we're even on the ship, we want a good spot to observe who's leaving from. Meteor would be decent, but we probably don't want to draw attention to it by acting like tourists around it."
"Should we have one of the crew who's never been seen by the Dawn crew do it?" Orrey asks.
"Can't depend on being able to dock her within line of sight, either," Isa notes. "A ship that small it's first come first served for berths."
Bast nods to Isa. "Don't think we have anyone who's seen their officers, either, besides us. Better to find a spot that won't attract notice than count on not being recognized." "Ah yes," River says, crouching low and walking in front of Bast, "because the Seventh Dawn is crawling with the most dangerous villains the group has ever seen, with powers unknown and danger untold." They spin neatly on their glossy shoes, and points to the windows as they are carefully wheeled open to indicate the interior of the ship. They continue to narrate as the demonstration continues. "Be that..."
"Doctor Cid!" Ivy walks into the light, wearing a lab coat and a pair of glasses, which she adjusts on her nose before primly walking offstage.
"Byakko!" Mogni brandishes a crossbow into which he has loaded his hammer, which will almost certainly break something should it ever get fired.
"Genbu!" Trelle ambles out, wearing a pot upside down on her gray hoodie. She jots a note down in her book, and then trundles away.
"Suzaku!" Shula swaggers into the light, casually swirling a little spark of fire around her fingers.
"Seiryu!" Barea Jidoor gallivants in, festooned with plaid patterned scimitars, very slowly drawing and pantomiming slashing them before bowing as if he was born for this and departing.
"Cassiat!" Apoc, dressed in the most bog-standard Adventurer's Gear, flounces in. "I will take offense at everything and complicate everyone's existence for no discernible reason! Lawks!" and then faints, at which point Shula and Mogni drag him offstage. "You dorks." Linnet applauds. "Mogni, please put that damn crossbow down before you break everything here."
Yves claps a hand over his mouth to stifle some distinct snickering at the Cassiat impression.
"I didn't realize you wanted to get into a shouting match with me, Apoc." Orrey says.
Bast is openly snickering by the time the presentation gets to Genbu.
"While the officers will not all be present on the ship," River declares, "could someone be lying in wait for our thieves? Knowing who is and isn't there, now, that's invaluable information..."
"Lawks!" comes again from the wings.
"Apoc, shut up! Which we cannot presume to obtain because we do not have a mole on the ship...unless...hm." Linnet reaches into her pocket and pulls out a certain blue crystal.
"Or by seeing who leaves?" Bast gives Linnet a sideways look. "Peri's not on our side."
Linnet casts a look to the wings, then to Bast, and draws a hand across her throat indicating not now. "Once you have evaded any remaining officers or crew and slipped past the ship's defenses..." River says, eagerly, anxiously, hand raised to signal a scene change, waiting for the captain to acknowledge the advance.
"I mean, of course we're going to watch who leaves, but how long are we going to wait, and where?" asks Linnet.
Bast holds up a hand to forestall Linnet's questions for now, and gives a slight nod to River.
Linnet concedes the floor, for now. "Right. Well done, all of you, just please put the props back where you found them, and the next time Apoc says 'Lawks' someone whack him in the knee for me."
As the scene change gets under way, Bast leans over to Linnet and says quietly "We'll have some time to pick a spot before the Dawn arrives. And how long will depend on what we see."
The lights go out once again.
Yves might or might not be whispering Lawks to himself, but if he is, it's under the hand still clapped across his mouth.
(Linnet whacks him in the knee with the towel from earlier, but not very hard.)
When the lights come back up, they all stand in a large room, two false walls bracketing the wings, and one wall with four comically oversized keyholes surrounding what is certainly the same door that was the door in from the deck. "Breaching The Vault," River intones.
Yves stops snickering long enough to ooooo appreciatively at the giant keyholes.
Isa looks around herself, reasonably certain she was behind the set before the change. "Huh."
"Four locks for four keys, keys carried by the officers who will not all be present. A secret password unknown to all that allows the captain to enter herself. An alarm system linked to the auxiliary power." River raps their cane twice on the ground. "Will this be what stops our heist in its tracks, or will the captain's pluck and passion carry him through to victory and spoils?"
"Are we just blowing it up?" Orrey asks Bast.
Yves whispers, "Because of the aforementioned trust issues," and starts giggling to himself again. A spotlight swings over to the far side of the hold, where the elevated walkway for crane access holds two observers, one tall human in a blonde wig holding one of Artemicion's spears, and a viera in the blackest coat ever created and eleven pounds of costume jewelry.
"It's been four minutes," Lily says, making a show of checking her watch. "They're certainly in trouble without my martial expertise and stoic jaw. Ready to go save the day, Yves?"
"Oh, d-d-d-d-dear," Eiri mumbles, vibrating around in a slow circle.
"...hey."
"All right, Eiri, I'm waiting to see how you do the lightning," Linnet heckles gently.
Isa chuckles, and elbows Yves in the ribs.
"We might still be unnoticed by this point. And it's generally not a great idea to use breaching explosives when you have no cover." Bast holds up a metal grip in one hand; as he squeezes it, strips of metal whip out of his sleeve and form a drill-shaped cone around his hand that immediately spins up to speeds too fast to follow. He presses something in the vicinity of his belt buckle with his other hand, and the noise from the drill immediately disappears. After a few seconds, he turns off both the drill and the silence field.
Yves looks a little abashed. "...I need to ask about some of that jewelry afterward, I don't have a silver viera skull earring anywhere near as cool as that one."
"Later. Maybe over tea." Linnet nudges him in the opposite ribs. Still to Orrey, Bast continues: "Question for you and Linnet - how would you hold the door, if we get uninvited guests while I'm working on the vault?"
"Are we assuming they can't be talked down?"
"Gravity based spells, Stop, Slow, and Alpha Strike." Orrey rattles off. "Ultimate Armageddon as a backup."
"Yeah. Let's try to avoid talking as much as possible, can't disguise that. Absolutely no names."
"...ice spells, then. I read up on the fire as an absolute last resort, but...I really don't want to use that in a closed space." Linnet blanches.
Isa's eyebrows ratchet slowly higher as Orrey gives his strategy. Finally, she nods approvingly.
"Could we have CODE names?" Orrey asks Bast, letting the excitement show, finally.
"Honey, we were all on board already," Linnet points out. "And unless you're going to dye your hair, you're pretty recognizable."
"But...CODE NAMES." Orrey argues fiercely, looking over to the crew for support.
"Schtolteheim Reinbach it is." Linnet turns back to Bast. "Do Silence spells overlap?"
"Hence disguises." Bast nods with approval at Orrey's list. "Fine. You can come up with code names, Isa gets a veto."
"Peregrine gets a veto?" Orrey asks, watching for Isa's response.
"You could dye your hair," Yves tells Orrey. "Or at least wear a good hat. But dyeing would probably be more reliable, because hats can come off, and dye would last at least until the next shower."
"I'm down with dyeing. How about green?" Orrey asks.
Isa shrugs her acceptance of Peregrine, if not her enthusiasm.
"And fire would have some challenges, but if we need to pile on..." Bast drops a compact-looking metal disk that springs up into a small turret which immediately begins to fire a long jet in the direction of where the door would be on the ship, and is fortunately empty of set pieces here. He lets it mess with the lighting of the scene, orange shadows springing up around the edges, for a few seconds before turning it off.
"Sure, plenty of people have green hair," says Yves, in the voice of someone who hasn't spent a lot of time contemplating non-viera hair color overall.
"Shula, sit back down," Jasper can be heard to say.
"But I want one!" Shula protests.
"When each..." the top left keyhole peels away. "of the locks," the top right goes as well, "is finally," the bottom left vanishes, "conquered," and the bottom right follows suit, "they need only open the door." River rests their weight against the cane and tips the top hat forward at a jaunty angle, waiting by the door.
"Shula, assuming we survive this terrible idea, you and the Captain can confer about his cool toys when he gets back. Are we assuming the door's not pressure-trapped or anything silly like that?"
Linnet takes in the looks on everyone else's faces. "What? I got a little paranoid after that factory dust-up."
"I feel like they would have mentioned that security feature in the hard sell about its many benefits to the ungodly wealthy," Yves says, though not with full confidence.
"Linnet, I'll need you to time the silence while I'm drilling and probably take over with yours before mine runs out."
"I can do that."
Isa nods. "If there's extra security, it's aftermarket."
"So, we don't know about it. Okay. Once you've left a gaping hole in their vault, is it reasonable to assume that'll trigger an alarm?"
"How do we signal that something has gone horribly wrong and that we need Nova Dragon and Fuzz Boom?" Orrey waves at Isa and Yves as he finishes to indicate the rescue team.
"Presumably, we'll be too deep inside the ship for screams to carry effectively outside, and the same with a flare or something. So, um...have me bolt out a window and yell?" Linnet doesn't look happy with this plan, but it's a start.
Isa thinks. "If you can bolt out a window, you can launch a flare from it."
"I'll see if I can wreck the alarm while drilling in, but we should assume it'll fire by the time we're in," replies Bast.
"So, default emergency plan is 'get Linnet to a window.'"
Orrey nods to Linnet. "We've got most of them mapped out. We can find a path, hopefully unoccupied."
"Probably it would be best to get everyone a flare, so all you need is someone getting to a window. Or..." Yves' gaze goes a little distant. "If I just rig up some flares so that they can break through a window, you wouldn't need to get all that close, just close enough to aim in about that direction..."
"Too bad there's no way to signal like with Linnet's blue stone thing." Orrey sighs.
Yves reaches for his satchel. Realizing he's not carrying it, on account of the damp. "I mean, so long as they don't go off early while you're carrying them, it would be perfectly safe."
"Let's not rely on trying to break the Dawn's windows with what are supposed to be signal pyrotechnics. We'll figure it out. And the only person I can signal with the blue stone thing is already aboard." Linnet looks discontented. "Right, River, more to come?"
River taps the doorknob.
"You should probably aim to start regular undocking not long after we go in. If they're fast about it, you can fake some technical trouble on board to draw it out; if they're slow and we leave in a rush, there's the breakaway option."
"Would be ideal if you don't have to hang around by the Dawn to pick us up, just swoop in and go - but you'll be the judge of how to cut the timing there." Bast finishes that last over his shoulder as he walks up to and turns the doorknob.
Isa nods. "What do you think about incentivizing the dockmaster? Easier to control the timing, but maybe too memorable. We have the funds either way."
The door opens, and the wall on either side of it separates, and pulls away into the darkness. The walls bracketing the group wheel past them, new walls wheeling in on the other side of where the door used to be, and multiple cabinets, dressers, curios, and containers slide in from the wings, rise up from the floor, or lower down from the ceiling, each presenting a prop, most of which Linnet recognizes.
At the center of the room is a pedestal, and in that pedestal rests Lily's rapier, with fake snow drifting down from above.
(Linnet glances upward to see who's getting fake snow all over the hold.)
"Drawing the Blade," River says, two inches away from Bast's ear. "The object of the heist itself, there within your grasp."
Yves offers an appreciative little "ooo."
(Keke waves cheerfully down at Linnet, then continues delicately sprinkling faux snowflakes on the captain.)
"Sub-questions abound: is it trapped, how much of what is trapped, how much else are we attempting to snaffle in here, what exactly does the blade look like, are we trying to run away with a ten-foot sword stashed on somebody's back..." (Linnet's rambling.)
"Unfortunately, we know nothing of what awaits you in here," River says, circling the captain and the blade slowly, "be that what other treasures will tempt you to stray from the path of the righteous and down the path that rocks, or what countermeasures will be here to prevent you from taking what is rightfully someone else's before it becomes yours."
"Those were less questions for you and more for Bast, but, thank you."
River bows. "Your call," Bast tosses over his shoulder to Isa as he approaches the pedestal. "Shouldn't cost you anything to inspect the clamps, you can decide on whether applying some grease would be worthwhile from there." He makes a show of checking for traps. "If we need a rearguard in the vault, Orrey's best for that; Linnet, think you could help with checking what else we might have a use for? Next to the Blade, finding that relic is the highest priority."
"Is it too late to vote for the path that rocks?" Yves asks Bast, as long as everyone else is asking him questions too.
Bast turns a quizzical look towards Yves. "...what?"
Linnet looks bewildered. "If you have the slightest breeze-blasted idea what we're looking for as far as that relic, I'm happy to help."
"Should we have some bags or something to stuff the haul into?" Orrey asks.
"I don't know if we're looking for a shield, an astrolabe, another mask that's presumably not the one that will eat the world if given half a chance, one of Thalatte's sacred toenail clippings..." Linnet's staring at her toes like she expects an answer.
Yves waves vaguely toward the props. "I mean, if we grab things that don't look shiny like we know what they are, they know that someone who knows what they are grabbed them. If we grab just the blade, they may wonder why we didn't take anything else. I don't know. I'm just saying, it'd be nice to load up. If you're there anyway. With sacks or whatever."
"Oh definitely. Best not to be wrangling an unknown sword and who knows what else while doing aerial maneuvers. And no, Linnet, I don't know any more about what the relic looks like than you do."
"And thus our moral compass spins wildly out of control." Linnet sighs. "Right, we can probably fight over this part later. Once we have whatever we came for, how do we leave?"
"Back the way we came?" Orrey asks.
"Ideally the same way we came in. If there's too much resistance that way, closest alternate window would probably be the bridge, but it's more likely to be defended. So let's say we go down and try to break out through one of the windows in the hold as our first alternative."
"Exiting the Ship?" River asks, eyebrows waggling.
The lights go out.
"Exiting the ship in the dark, apparently," Linnet concludes.
"That makes it more exciting."
The spotlight rises on a fainting couch and a chair by an easel. Brandt sits in the chair, beret atop his purple wig, a satchel full of art supplies worn crossbody, borrowed sketchbooks sticking out. Ivy lounges provocatively on the fainting couch, arm up over her head, wearing a dress with a plunging neckline, impossible shoes, and a prop dagger situated somewhere very suggestively on her torso. “Oh, Orrey, paint me like one of your Saron girls.”
Brandt clears his throat. “Well, actually, the famed painter Ronsenburg Bosch specialized in painting tasteful nudes of Alternan women from Yinha 927 to Yoshuelje 931, and some of his finest work is captured in the book Lewdonarrative Dissonance published in—”
Ivy adjusts her hips slightly, and the neckline gets another six inches of plunge.
The spotlight dies.
Brandt swallows audibly. "Fair?" Orrey asks, skeptically.
“Someone is going to die,” Celeste declares from the wings.
"Who's Ivy supposed to be?" Orrey asks.
"Wait until the planning session's over, Celeste, then kill them," Linnet replies.
...then she smacks her face into her hand and doesn't answer Orrey.
"And that someone is Orrey," Celeste adds.
Yves mouths Lewdonarrative Dissonance to himself a few times.
The lights rise in full on the pre-vault set.
"With the Frost Fair Blade in hand, plus whatever remaining ill-be-gotten goods have fallen into the illest of hands," River says, spinning the cane dramatically, "our heist team beats a hasty retreat, because before they can even think about escaping the dock, they must first escape the Seventh Dawn itself. Will alarms have been raised? Will the officers descend upon them like Diabolos on anyone trying to sneak into the cookie jar? Will it be time to throw caution to the wind, or will they be able to calmly walk away, with not a single person the wiser?"
"Do you think Diabolos would want to guard a cookie jar?" Yves asks Isa, as the nearest person at this particular moment. "It doesn't really seem his style, but I haven't asked."
Isa gives Yves a look. "I don't think so, no."
"Not unless they're very heavy cookies." Orrey says.
"Never assume a clean getaway," Linnet answers River. "Isa, if at any point we're going to need your help, it'd be here, but I don't know how that'd work so don't count on that. Also don't count on deploying anything we picked up in there, which means...Bast, don't use up all your arsenal at the start...Orrey, don't burn through all your magic getting into the vault, please...and me, don't panic."
"Do we have Ether access?" Orrey asks.
"Stock up," replies Bast.
"If you need us to come in after you," Isa points out, "that's going to be it for any kind of clean getaway. Yves and I aren't built for quiet extractions."
"But of course, once you have successfully made it off of the ship, you are not fully safe," River says, "no matter how nice it would be if that was where the play ended. There is still the matter of... Fleeing the Scene."
"The Scene of the not-Crime." Orrey says, bringing things back full circle.
"I--well, I mean, I could--really, if I just--" Yves stops, and shakes his head. "What Isa said. Ready and willing to swoop in and provide assistance, but it's a loud way out. We're hoping you make it to the Meteor before that part."
"Okay, Orrey, this is why we need to get that one lawyer I mentioned to join up, it's a crime even if you don't want it to be. She explained that to me really clearly a few times! Even when I wasn't sober at all!"
"Semantics later! Escape patterns now!" Linnet pokes Yves in the ear. "We are not recruiting lawyers before we do crimes!"
"Not-crimes." Orrey says quietly. Slowly, ominously, a 1/20th scale model of the Seventh Dawn lowers down from the ceiling, the lights rotating to shine upon it. "The Seventh Dawn outguns us in our current state in every way, so this heist cannot be considered a true success until you are well away from the ship, free of any pursuit or any threat of any pursuit." River walks along its growing shadow. "To avoid bringing the wrath of the masks down upon your best and closest friends, it is up to you to pull this off fearlessly and flawlessly."
"I am far less worried about the wrath of the masks than I am about their current claimants." Linnet also pokes Orrey in the ear, for good measure.
Orrey swats playfully at Linnet's retreating pointer.
"Actually, before you do a crime is the best moment to already have a lawyer on retainer, or at least an established relationship with them and contact information, so that--oh wow," Yves says, completely losing track of that train of argument, "look at that! Nice work!"
"Isa, we need you piloting the Meteor," Bast clarifies. "We're running, not staying to fight, and once we're off the Dawn and flying over to you there's little they can do to catch us individually. Just watch out for that harpoon."
"If you've arrived on the Meteor, you need to get back to the Meteor and get out. If you can't for whatever reason, you need to get out of Yinha another way, or go to ground until the heat dies down, and you can trust Isa and Yves to come in after you," River says.
"If they die, I get to be the captain," Lily-as-Isa muses.
"Bast, have a succession plan in place before you leave, please," mutters Linnet.
"Oo, if Isa becomes the captain, I bet there'll be a lot more combat training sessions scheduled," Yves says brightly.
"Well, that's settled then," concludes Bast.
"Rahel's in charge on the Starfall while we're away. Celeste, meet with us after to pick a good rendezvous point if we can't make it to the Meteor off the Dawn," orders Bast.
"But I'm on the distraction team!" Rahel says, "flying" as Linnet around in circles in front of the Seventh Dawn model.
"Good point, let's not pile up too much there. Jasper, then."
Yves walks around the ominous model to admire it more closely, and see if there's a tiny Meteor ready to flee it. Ideally with a teeny tiny image of him on deck.
"Yves," Isa says sweetly, "I will fight you for the tiny Meteor." "Bast, there's a couple of points I'd like to go over as a tighter infiltration unit, if we're done here. You all are masters of your craft and, my heckling aside, you've done an absolute marvel of a job here. I'm a little unnerved, but mostly amazed. Bravo, bravissimo!" Linnet applauds heartily.
("As a tighter infiltration unit" is code for "not in front of all my friends here.") Orrey finds Ivy and asks "Are you wanting me to paint you? I mean, not like a Saron girl necessarily, whatever you mean by that, but generally speaking, a portrait or an action shot or something?"
...witnessing this, Linnet finds Celeste and starts negotiating the best place on the ship to hide a body.
Bast glances over at Celeste. "Please don't break him. Yet." "And you must rescue me from this terrible ship!" Jasmine, wearing a thick blue wig as Perilune, declares, rushing in from the wings to throw herself into Linnet's arms. Seeing as Jasmine is a head taller and twenty pounds heavier than Linnet, this mostly just knocks them both over.
"Will you let me fit the tiny Meteor with tiny engines so that in a pinch it can actually attack someone?" Yves asks Isa wistfully.
A 1/20th scale model of Meteor zips around the rafters of the hold, Clayton making fake engine sounds as he works the apparatus that powers it.
Linnet hauls herself up. "...screw it, if we're all going to be hanging around here for a while, we might as well get some snacks."
"And some drinks? Make it a pre-Heist party?" Orrey asks.
"I've killed before," Mogratheo gravels at Celeste's other elbow, opposite Bast, while still wearing the captain's hat.
Bast cranes his neck slowly around Celeste, giving Mogratheo a long look with his pom hanging off to the side, before straightening up again with a much put-upon "Actors."
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