Session 32 - Kings of Pain

Bast has stood here before, in the pouring rain. The plan of attack is turning circles, running ‘round his brain. The Starfall, in disguise as a merchant ship running a too-tight schedule, has broken through the thunderhead and is cutting through the wind and rain to carry its cargo of collegiate goods to needy students who are certainly real and showing up for class. Storms have always been good cover for dangerous and highly illegal plans, but Bast rarely has been the one waiting to be attacked. It is not a feeling to savor.
There’s a flagpole rag and the wind won’t stop, Isa notes, safely ensconced in her high vantage point above the deck. The tube crackles on the railing next to her, carrying the sound of the driving rain in distorted tones to the top of the ship.
There’s a little black spot on the sun today, Yves observes, one of Orrey’s sketches marked with a dab of paint from a container that wasn’t properly sealed. The quick-release exit is in a modified supply room on the outside of the ship, so all of the things in that closet had to be piled in the hallway so Orrey’s discarded sketches and Akil’s extra chairs don’t go shooting out into the storm when Yves makes his dramatic debut on the deck once the battle is joined.
There’s a black hat caught in a high tree top, Linnet sighs, because the furniture throughout the Starfall is repurposed stage sets, and spooky forest trees make for tolerable hat racks. The crew couldn’t fathom the idea of Bast losing his captain’s hat in the storm and have instead given it prime position here by the stairs to the deck. A copper funnel is looped around Linnet’s shoulders and up by her mouth, ready to broadcast her words with volume to anywhere on the ship that’s within speaker range, and thanks to Jasper’s ordered, that is “everywhere.” A captive audience will be arriving shortly.
There’s a butterfly trapped in a spider’s web, Orrey sketches, an interpretation of how Yves described the mask at the center of the strange flesh-like forest. Was it the heart of the woods, or was it a prisoner inside the roots and branches? In weather like this, it’s hard to be optimistic, though sketches this fatalistic might not make the displays throughout the Starfall Ivy’s been setting up. With a lack of good, approachable art to spruce up the ship, Orrey’s had more of an audience for his works than before, though the sketches done over the last ninety minutes have been to anxiously pass the time before Orrey will fight for his life in a fight they not only have prepared for, they have orchestrated.
Outside, the storm rages, lightning streaking between the clouds, flickers of illumination always just out of focus, every flash potentially nothing, potentially a herald of impending doom. The crew has been praying, hoping Thalatte could end this rain…
...but it’s your destiny to fight the Kings of Pain.
**
A ship is approaching through the storm. Up above, well out of the theoretical cannon range you would have, sloping down through the sheeting rain toward the Starfall.
Marina holds the ship's course, continuing to play dumb. Her voice, though, carries through the ship on the tube network. "We've been found. Is everyone in position, or do I need to buy you any time?"

Yves gives a thumbs up--which does not convey too well through a tube network--while examining his very special weapon. Which is to say, a very fancy stick with metal bits.
"Ready as we're gonna be, I think." Linnet's voice might be shaking a little, or it might be the connection.
"Ready," Isa says curtly.
Orrey checks on his knife, his watch, and his job crystal. "I'm good."
"Good here. Everyone who's not fighting, remember to look scared and clear the deck as soon the fight starts. Isa, your cue is "violence"."
"Aye-aye."
"Then prepare to be boarded," Marina says calmly, and goes silent.
The Last Ship, helpfully labeled as such, draws close from above the starboard flank, a voice booming out as a bolt of lightning streaks through the storm behind it. "Cut your engines and stand your weapons down, lest you be blown from the sky and severed from this miserable world!" comes an incredibly loud shout from the ship, clearly audible even in this weather. "If you do not, I assure you The Last Ship will be the last ship you ever see!"
"Lest YE be blown to the sky." Orrey mutters under his breath.
Inside the bridge, Apoc pauses and mouths "that's a bit much, really" as he listens.
"That must be so difficult to parse in transcripts, without intonation," Yves muses to himself, letting a little spark hop from one finger to another where he waits.
Linnet sounds disgusted, loud and clear. "How many opening lines did you discard before you finally settled on that one? NEEDS WORK, RAVI!" ...shit. Linnet abruptly cuts off the mic and buries her face in her hands. Mistakes already?
"I--wait--how--" come three separate attempts at a rebuttal from the other ship, tipping slightly to the side to keep cannons trained on the top of the Windborne. "Who the hell are you?!"
("sorry" Linnet whispers into the tubes) On the bridge, Bast pauses before tapping Marina on the shoulder. "Slow down to match them. Looks like we're improvising." To Linnet: "Over to you, then. Get them off-balance, see if you can get them to board."
Marina nods, decelerating.

"Get us back on track, Linnet," Isa says.
"No one in particular, but you've made yourself infamous for really corny opening lines. Try running them past Shaul first; he might remember a scriptwriting 101 exercise or two. Never much good at producing his own material, but his head's empty enough to amplify anything you shout into there."
Yves leans against a wall near his scheduled entrance point, quietly admiring the insults.
A round of spluttering comes through, and then there is a brief grinding as the two ships trade paint, the Windborne having the clear size and strength advantage.
Two shapes bound from The Last Ship and land on the deck of the Windborne, one bringing a hammer to the deck as a method of stopping his momentum short, the other swinging gallantly from a rope and landing in a smooth roll.
"And he sticks the landing! Might be the only thing that sticks today, but the day is young."
"No other borders?" Isa wonders from her perch. "Cocky."
The one with the hammer -- Ravikula Hall -- slams the hammer into the ground again. "All right! Who thinks they're so goddamned clever?!"
"Of course we're no match for your vast intellect, right? We'd be in real trouble if you ever used it."
Yves whistles quietly to himself. Oh that's a good one.
Ravi adjusts his hood, the gray-skinned tonberry built wider in the shoulders than most. He stalks across the slippery deck toward the source of the voice, a massive scowl forming a river of anger across his face as his eyes find (one) talking tube in the railing. "Oh, great. We've got someone like you, Shaul. Someone who thinks they're funny."
"Far be it from me to ever aspire to be like Shaul."
If Shaul is slighted by this, he doesn't say anything. "We're here for your valuables, not your empty words!" he calls out. "Show yourself!"
"Valuables? You want to steal a bunch of microscopes and notebook paper from the students of your alma mater? I guess that's one way to try to boost your GPA..."
"They had plenty of warning," Ravi growls, stalking toward the door to the heart of the ship. "I'm going to go in there and break the first person I see." "H-hey, calm down, that's a bit--" Shaul starts.
"Well, that didn't take long." Bast opens the door and walks out from the bridge onto the deck, raising his voice to greet the new arrivals. "Hello! Welcome to the Starfall. I'd ask you if you'll surrender peacefully, but it seems you're expecting violence. And it would be a shame to disappoint our guests, wouldn't it?"
Ravi and Shaul stop in their tracks.
"Sure would," comes over the tube, and then the whole ship shakes.
Bast bows slightly and pulls a crossbow from a coil of rope on the deck as he straightens again.
"Welcome to your first real fight in ages, you cowardly dogs!" Linnet crows.
By the time the cowling on the tower has finished breaking away, Isa's airborne. By the time the falling pieces are level with the deck, she is at the apex of her jump. By the time anyone looks up, she is accelerating downward, and fast. Her spear is at full length and she's holding it tight along her body, point-down and one foot braced behind the head. Spectators in the front row will get wet.
Linnet begins singing over the tube system, and while there's no backing orchestra for the awesome bass chords underneath, her point still comes across. It's all the more menacing for being a breathy mezzo instead of the original growly baritone.
"We're not safe until they're dead They've been stalking us at night Set to sacrifice our cargo to their gruesome appetite They'll wreak havoc on the world if we let them wander free So it's time to take some action, men, it's time - to - fol-low - me..."
Isa lands directly between the tonberry and the moogle, and her knees flex as she slams into the deck. The water on the deck and the rain in the air make the shockwave visible, a hemisphere radiating out from her point of impact and smashing into the pirates.
Bast pauses for a moment as the duo staggers from the impact of Isa's attack, sights on the wiry moogle, and lets fly. He could be examining a gear out of place on some gadget of his, for all the expression on his face.
"There's no time to waste, friends. Let's be Haste-y!" Orrey steps out from concealment watch in hand, causing an image of a glowing, spinning purple clock to wind up faster and faster under Isa's feet.
Shaul is thrown through the air from the force of Isa's Dive, and a crossbow bolt slams into his arm before he comes to a stop. "Okay, the singing feels like a bit... much," he grumbles as he pulls himself up to his feet. "I think I can keep up with your rhythm just fine, though!" The moogle's arm jerks twice, throwing out first, then angling straight up, a knife flashing along with his spells.
"Through the wind, through the storm Through the darkness and the shadows Comes the terror of the weak, the Kings of Pain Say a prayer, then they're there At the apex of your airship But there's nothing of much substance left inside..."
A spiraling ball of fire soars through the torrents of rain, the Fira spell detonating on the deck with Isa at its center, the gleam of the hexagonal shield of Vertect surrounding Shaul in the same heartbeat.
Isa throws her free arm up over her face, but still staggers from the force of the flame. Singed, maybe, but standing tall.
"They're the Kings, Kings of Pain, and they're sharp, boys But their threats and their cries fall in vain Hear them roar, see them blink As their damage, it tinks Through the rain! They're so vain! FEEL THE PAIN!"
"SHUT UP!" Ravi bellows.
"Yeah, Shaul, you're right, that was a bit much. But there's no point holding back in battle!" Linnet says. From an apparently innocent bit of wall, something whistles through the sky and plummets toward Shaul, exploding in a shower of what would otherwise be very pretty snow if it wasn't so damn icy.
Shaul bounds back out of the way, throwing his reinforced coat up over his head, pompom ducking underneath it too. Behind him, Ravi is somehow even angrier.
Abruptly, the song switches from a driving angry shout to an almost wistful light mocking ballad. "Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown And things seem hard or tough And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft And you feel that you've had quite enough..." (The last word is considerably drawn out.)
Yves pops onto deck as if he's spring-loaded, an elegant inlaid weapon in hand, and points it at Shaul with a thoughtful sort of expression.
The lightning does not actually crackle down what he's holding, though. It's an eye-searingly white-blue bolt from the sky, so sudden that it's not so much seen or heard as felt at the back of one's teeth and left as an afterimage on the sight.
And that's for the people it's /not/ aimed at.
The lightning strikes, and strikes hard.
And then it does again.
"This just in, we will be pausing our broadcast while we try to get our vision back and evaluate whether there's any steak left to sizzle."
The sky shakes, and then bolt after bolt after bolt of lightning streak down onto the ship, rattling everyone's teeth and sending sparks flying up off the rails and across the ground.
For the briefest of instances, Yves tapped into something primal and elemental, a pure force that will require further investigation... but then the moment is gone, lost in the rain, a song of storms now forgotten.
Yves looks like a plush version of himself, with all his fur standing on end at once.
"And what would you like after the appetizers?" Bast asks Ravi and Shaul while reloading.
Ravi, who took about a dozen lightning bolts that he was not expecting, his robe blackened, his movements jumpy and uneven, slams his hammer on the ground multiple times. "Bullshit bullshit bullshit! I am right I am always right and it only matters if it's about me -- Shaul!"
"Lithium Sunset!"
"NOW!"
There's a little black spot on the sun today.
And then it drops.
Shaul Shotlocke's fire spell grows to immense size in the center of the Starfall's flight path, tongues of flame leaping out, before the sun sets on the party, helped along by a hurtling, furious, swearing Ravikula Hall, hammer spinning end over end until the entire thing bursts into cascading flame.
(Any attempt at further singing cuts off abruptly.)
Yves remains very fluffy, and now smells of burnt hair.
"Where's your coda now?!" Ravi shouts into the silence.
"Hey."
"Huh?"
Isa takes two steps forward, and then drops, sliding along the deck until she is between Ravi and Shaul. She swings her arm out, centrifugal force carrying the spear out until she grabs it right before it leaves her grip, whipping the long blade around in a hewing circle at knee-height. As the circle comes to a complete rotation she plants a heel to bring the slide to a stop, tucks her legs in, and launches into the air and out of hammer range.
Shaul lands hard, the back of his head cracking against the steel deck, and he does not move again, save for some light groans and twitches of extreme pain. Ravi is, for the moment, a turtle stuck on his back, all fury with no fire.
Bast's eyebrows go up as Isa takes off, and instead of aiming the crossbow again he shoves a hand into a pocket of his coat.
"Hey, Ravi - so long as you're sitting there with your mouth open? Catch!"
Small metal spheres rain down around Ravi as he tries to get back up again. One bounces off his nose.
That one explodes first, which does nothing for his attempts to recover. When the rest go off, he is thrown several paces and fetches up against Shaul as Isa begins to descend.
Orrey hastily runs towards Linnet to check on her since she's gone silent... ...and casts Haste on Bast to keep the pain rolling.
Linnet is down. Breathing, but severely injured. She looks about how she told Orrey Orrey looked when they got him out of the water after whatever happened with the toppled temple.
"Orrey," Linnet coughs. "Get me to the speaking tube?"
Orrey pauses for a second, then helps his friend up. "You sure you're up for that?"
"No, but there's two more lines of a song burning a hole in my pocket and I'll be damned if I'll let those fuckers have the last word. Thanks." Linnet squeezes his shoulder, then gently pushes him back to the battle. "Go help."
Yves looks at the current not-quite-chaos on deck, and decides that the best way to deal with his anxiety about this situation is by directing a lot more lightning and... oh, let's say the person who's still moving, and isn't a friend. This time around, the lightning doesn't arch down from the sky, but crackles down the length of the rod he's pointing, in a nice jagged line toward the face of the person who /won't stay down/. "...and your /science is bad/," Yves adds, mostly unheard over the sound of thunder.
Ravi slumps down and stays there.
"...so, do we need to fight the crew, or do you think this will be enough?" Yves asks.
"Good question." Bast looks over the railing. "Do you all want more of this, or are you going to work with us here?"
The Last Ship strikes its colors almost immediately.
Into the sudden silence, very quietly, Linnet picks up the trailing thread of the mocking ballad.
"So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure That the universe cares nothing if you fuss, And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere in the skies 'Cause there isn't any down here with us."
The song trails off, then a final not-quite-whisper echoes - "Fuck that hurt."
Forty minutes later...
"Well, we have half of their crew trussed up below deck," Apoc says, "half of our crew on their ship to oversee it following us back to... wherever it is we're going, the two ringleaders are secured by our crack security team of, ah, the captain and quartermaster of our motley assortment, and our brave bard here will be back on her feet in likely a day or two," he says with a guilty smile down at Linnet, who is sacked out in what is passing for the medical ward on the Starfall. "I will be sure to exclude dramatic, named sunsets from any further renditions of our plan."
He looks to the rest of the party. "And with that bit of valuable intel thus delivered, I will see myself out of your collective hair and pom-poms alike. Any other orders to pass along, o captain my captain?"
(In her sleep, Linnet starts humming Poor Unfortunate Souls...)
(The Small Siren was a hit in last year's touring companies.)
"Sounds like everyone has their work sorted out. Tell them they did well, Apoc." Bast, weapons put away, seems to be thinking about something.
Yves has mostly gotten his fur to lie flat again, and offers Apoc a friendly smile to follow that up.
Exit Apoc, stage right.
Orrey has sketched Yves as a ThunderBun with his hairs all flaring outwards.
After Apoc leaves, Isa looks at Bast. "What's on your mind?"
"Mm. Details, I suppose. What happens to the ship, how we handle the money - shares for the crew?" He smiles with one corner of his mouth. "There are probably laws for this."
"So many of them. They're what make us the good guys in this situation. Justine will know."
"Do you think she'll let us, uh..." Yves licks a thumb and wipes it against a curling bit of fur again. "...is there a word for subleasing when it's for lawyers instead of apartments?"
"Provide us with a contact." Orrey smiles at Yves. "An introduction, maybe."
"If this is going to be a major source of income going forward, we're going to need one," Isa says.
"I think it worked. Mostly," Orrey says. "The whole bounty hunting thing."
"Could have gone better, could have gone a lot worse," Isa says. "Not going to lie to you Orrey, I have no idea what I did."
"This went...well enough, in all. Yves, you're kind of terrifying sometimes. Keep it up." He grins at the viera, noticing a few tufts of fur still not fully settled down after the blast. "But a bit more luck for them and less for us, and most of us could have ended up like Linnet. I think...I'll need to look into how we can weigh the odds more in our favor, next time."
"Maybe if I had Disabled the hammer first..." Orrey muses. "Or Silenced the mage."
"Listen. We had the plan we did because we're an unarmed ship with a crew untrained for combat. It worked, but it was inherently desperate because we are desperate." Isa leans forward. "We should be able to start arming Starfall and the crew, and that'll start pushing the odds in our direction quickly, which means less risky plans. But having a trick like that would definitely be helpful."
"Getting magic to combine with a weapon attack should be relatively straightforward, if you just practice the timing right so you can get everything to sync properly under pressure," Yves says. "For, uh, general values of you."
Isa looks at Yves. "Alright. There's a conversation we need to have then."
"Yeah, I mean, it would need..." Yves makes a complicated, vague gesture. "...timing. Practice. That kind of stuff."
"I'm good at practice," Isa says.
"Yeah, that's definitely going to be a part of what we'll need to practice. There will be harder fights ahead. But today? We won, all of us are still here, and we're about to have a lot more money than we had this morning." Bast smiles. "Take the time to enjoy it. There'll be more of this to come."
And with that...
End session.