The Cat's Meow

AN ELDER CAT SPEAKS

“Settle down now,” Jezzabella says, peering down at you from her lofty perch. Chastened, you try to sit still and ignore the bug you’d been hunting. She nods slightly and then looks from kitten to kitten, each of them quieting as swiftly as you did under her searchlight gaze. Silence falls, and she draws out the moment, her tail switching lazily back and forth as she inspects you. You crane your neck to see her and try not to fidget.
“I’m here to speak with you today about every cat’s sacred duty,” she says at last, her voice a soft, husky purr. “A duty to the Burdens in our lives.”
“They seem big and powerful, don’t they? They make and control clever machines. They tame dogs and other dangerous animals. But the truth is that humans, without our help, are as helpless as suckling kittens.
It is our duty to protect them from things they don’t understand, things they don’t believe exist; evil things that come for them in the night. Things that will hurt them if we fail.
You will never be thanked, because your Burdens can never know what you do for them, but you will save them, time after time.”
Jezzabella pauses, looking down at each of you as you sit taller, practically glowing with purpose. At last she narrows her eyes in satisfaction and nods.
“If you’re sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin.”

THE HIDDEN WORLD

Cats occupy a different world from humans, a world filled with smart animals and all manner of spirits, creatures, and monsters. Not everything in this hidden world is hostile, but it’s difficult to tell a harmless spirit from a needle-toothed monster with a taste for human noses — and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Most human myths contain a grain of truth. There really is another realm that touches ours in the wild places. Ghosts of people and smart animals exist, as do evil and malevolent spirits that inspired stories about demons. Whatever can be imagined in dreams or nightmares is out there, somewhere. There are some things far worse than these — ancient, terrible horrors that most humans dare not dream of even in their worst nightmares. These forces are as old as time, and some older. Most humans are blessedly ignorant of these primordial agencies, unaware of them by their own denial, ignorance, and the vigilance of cats.
But one must also look closer to home; one of the most insidious of evils is a “bad cat” willing to sacrifice humans or smart animals — including other cats — in their quest for ultimate power.

SMART ANIMALS

A smart animal is one capable of true thought, not driven by mere instinct. This capacity varies by species: cats, dogs, crows, and ravens are almost always gifted, while fish, mice, insects, small birds, and reptiles rarely are. All smart animals can speak with one another, and, though they often clash, many also have allies of other species. Such alliances are usually based on mutual self-interest rather than friendship, but there are exceptions. Ungifted animals greatly respect sapient members of their species and often obey them without hesitation.

THE GREAT IDEA

The Great Idea was an idea whispered into the ear of the First Cat by the Goddess Bast. The Great Idea was that cats should have a say in just how the world was to be changed and formed by humans. Previously, cat-thought divided all non-cats into Enemies or Prey; to many cats, even other cats could be considered the Enemy. The Great Idea added the new category of allies, or as cats put it, Servants. Specifically, The Great Idea created a deep and lasting alliance with humans, whose tricky minds and clever hands do more than any other tools to change the physical world to the liking of cats. This is the Great Idea to rule the world by ruling humans. But to do so cats had to do something for humans in exchange - namely protect them - thus servants became burdens.

BURDENS

Burdens are the people or entities that a cat is dedicated to protecting, whether a family, an entire neighborhood, a single homeless person, or a ghost. A stray will pick a person, people, or a business that they visit and think is worthy of protection.

THE DUTY OF CATS

The world is not as simple as humans pretend; they have closed their eyes and hearts to what is. Some humans, especially children, have open minds and eyes to the possibility of the supernatural and thus see the monsters hiding in the darkness.
Cats know better, a fortunate situation for their Burdens. While humans scurry about their workaday lives, cats nap in the sunlight and wait for night to fall. Then they stand vigil while the humans sleep, ready to protect their Burdens with tooth, claw, and a legacy of ancient magic.
A cat’s duty is to protect their Burdens from the forces that would harm them. Most of the time cats protect their Burdens from other people, sometimes from unnatural things, but every now and again something far more sinister raises its head. Fortunately, they don’t have to do it alone.

THE PARLIAMENT OF CATS

As brave and magical as individual cats are, many threats they face are far more powerful than them. To vanquish such horrors they must work together, but cats are territorial and difficult to organize. Thus they have a Parliament of Cats, a democratic council of the region’s felines.
Each Parliament meets at least once a month to discuss important matters, to arbitrate disputes between its members, and to discipline cats who break the rules.

HOW BIG IS A REGION?

The region over which a Parliament presides can vary greatly. A small town like Foxfield might be managed by a single Parliament, but in New York City a single Parliament might handle a region only a few blocks wide. Cats have no reliable means of communicating across great distances, especially in urban areas where busy roads and other obstacles make it impractical for messengers to travel widely.

FELINE POLITICS

A Parliament of Cats is, as the name implies, a political organization. The leader of each Parliament heavily influences the group, but it’s still a democracy — more or less. Every cat is allowed to voice their opinions on how things ought to be done, and those cats most involved in the Parliament spend a good deal of time lobbying other cats and maneuvering for power to make their opinions count more than others’.
Legal matters are also of great importance, as each Parliament arbitrates disputes between its members and disciplines cats who break the rules. Every Parliament has its own bylaws, but all follow the “First Rule”: Don’t let the humans find out what we can do.
Cats' ancestors were revered as gods in ancient Egypt, and the word “feline” is related to the Latin word for “lucky,” but in medieval times we were viewed as symbols of evil or vanity and thousands were burned alive. They’re not taking any chances.

COMMON PARLIAMENTARY RULES

Each Parliament may have different rules, but these ones are common:

• Don’t spy on each other from the astral plane.
• Don’t maim or kill another member of the Parliament except in self-defense.
• Never sacrifice a sapient being to power your magic.

WHAT CATS DO

Cats dedicate themselves to protecting their Burdens, but that’s not all they do. There’s plenty to occupy the rest of their time.

CAT TIMEKEEPING

The smallest time interval recognized by cats is the nap — about 15 minutes, the length of an average cat “nap”. A “sleep” is about an hour long. Longer periods are measured in half days, days, weeks, moons, and lunar years.

TERRITORIAL MATTERS

To a cat every place falls into one of three categories: my territory, something else’s territory, or not my territory yet — and the lines between the last two are often blurry. Very rarely will cats designate a neutral ground, where those living in the area agree not to take it as their own territory…for now.

FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED

Cats must anticipate dangers and prepare to deal with them if and when they materialize. It is important to regularly consult with those who can foretell the future and to confer often with other members of the Parliament and local sapient animals to keep abreast of impending issues, and also to organize regular patrols of trouble spots, like haunted locations. Every cat is responsible for keeping the land safe; each takes turns on patrols while their own territory is watched by allies.

TRAINING AND EDUCATION

Kittens have to learn the practices and duties of cats at some point. Ideally their parents teach them, but many are taken after weaning and sent to homes far away. It therefore falls to experienced cats to train their juniors in small, manageable groups.

MUNDANE THREATS

Nasty children with strings of firecrackers, vicious dogs, and overzealous animal catchers are but a few examples. They must be handled if the cat community is to thrive. One of the most dangerous missions cats undertake is the animal shelter run, a desperate effort to free brothers and sisters from captivity and potential death. Burglars, murderers, and arsonists threaten cat's Burdens, of course, so they must protect them from these threats as well as the more esoteric ones.

FELINE MAGIC

Feline magic uses the link between something’s name and the thing itself. Knowing the True Name of your target makes your magic easier and more powerful.
Discovering the True Names of our enemies is a critical part of our work. This is easily done with most humans because generally their True Names are the same as their given names. They often carelessly speak their full names aloud or leave them lying around on pieces of paper for us to find.
Smart animals and supernatural creatures are very cautious with their True Names. Even spirits that were once human learn to adopt new names. You might find their True Names written on tombstones or old papers. Otherwise, you may have to befriend the target, trick them, eavesdrop on them, or interrogate them or their allies.
Our most potent magics must be fueled by blood sacrifice. To lengthen and empower our spells, we will sacrifice a small animal like a bird, mouse, frog, or rat and pour its life force into our spells. Of course, no decent cat would sacrifice a smart animal for such a purpose. Dealing with and knowing names is far better.

A CAT HAS THREE NAMES

First is the cat’s Outer Name, an everyday name, chosen by the humans in its life. A cat is unlikely to answer to this name and will probably be gravely offended if it’s used by anyone who should know better. Second is the cat’s Fancy Name that is used among friends, compatriots, and rivals. This name is often based off of a physical characteristic, personality trait, or act of renown. Finally is the cat’s Inner Name, its true and secret name. A cat cannot be forced to reveal this name, and it is shared only with a cat’s closest friends and lovers, although some cats can become a bit incautious while in an altered state.

CATNIP

Cats love catnip. A dose of catnip will make a cat more frisky, playful, and agile. Once the effects wear off the cat can not experience the effect again for at least two hours.
In the presence of catnip, a cat must pit his POW against the catnip’s POT. If the cat fails the roll they must interact with the catnip. The roll is repeated each round until the cat succeeds, after which the cat is normal until they encounter catnip again.
A cat under the influence of catnip increases their DEX by +2 for the catnip’s POT×2 combat rounds, and his ability to Climb, Jump, and Pounce is raised by 10%

DEATH

No one is completely sure what happens when a cat passes on. Some say that her being is snuffed out completely. Some say she is reborn as a kitten at the same moment. Certain cats speak of visions of cat spirits hunting forever with the First Mother in a pleasant grassland rich with prey, and this is the notion that, while they may not actually believe it, many cats find the most comforting.

THE FORBIDDEN ACT

“Bad cats” will go out of their way to bring misery to humans, including the one trick that no honest cat ever uses, the act forbidden by ancient law: stealing breath. It’s an old ritual that has been forbidden by the Queen of the Cats, but that doesn’t mean her subjects never use it. If a cat sits on a sleeping person, they can steal the breath right out of them. The ritual takes 1 hour per Power Point the person has, and at the end of the night, the person is one Power Point less and the cat has three more. When a cat steals a person’s last Power Point, the person dies. An adult has an average of 11 Power Points, teens 6, toddlers 3 and infants 1.