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Ere'eah

I am Simarimes, Queen of the Dangling Gardens, Ruler of Ere'eah, and planter of the Verdant Mesh.   What brings you before my throne and the august members of the Hanging Council at the dizzy height of Sem'lap's Cliff?   Chose your next words carefully, for they will determine at which speed you will be reunited with the ground below.   ~ Garden-Queen Simarimes
  Built directly into the face of a sky-high cliffside, the city-state of Ere'eah is widely famed for the breathtaking beauty of its numerous, freely suspended gardens. Stretching all the way from the cliff's ridge to the bottom of the deep ravines laying at their foot, these "Dangling Gardens" are a true marvel of botanical architecture.   In addition to the visual beauty of its gardens, Ere'eah is also known for the various high-quality herbal products, which are created from their yield. These products include numerous types of prized fruits, potent medicinal herbs, and a lightweight variant of Resin-Bronze known as O'gitrev ("Windflower Copper").

Demographics

Ere'eah is mostly inhabited by Curnias, yet a small yet stable population of Golotian also call the city home.

Government

Ere'eah is Simarimes' garden and we are its most prized flower.   And just like real flowers, we can easily be plucked.   ~ R'aneg A'pilut, Member of the Hanging Council
  The city of Ere'eah is ruled over by Garden-Queen Simarimes, who has served as the regent of the city since the day of its founding. Which makes her one of the oldest and most influential rulers of any Curnias city-state, a fact that she likes to frequently emphasize, especially in the presence of "younger" rulers.   Simarimes is supported in her governmental work by a small council of six individuals, known as the Silis'nep Sutanes ("Hanging Council"), which is staffed by the current favorites of the Queen.   While the individual members of the council might anytime be replaced according to the fickle favor of the Garden-Queen, the overall composition of the council remains the same.   Therefore the occupants of the council's nooses -it isn't called the Hanging Council for nothing- always includes at least one Rebmu ("Hound of the Green Hunt"), one Xefitnop ("Master of Sacrifices"), and three A'iraipot ("Shaper of Flowers").   Highlighting the exalted positions those that walk upon the path of the Gardener hold at the court of Simarimes.

Industry & Trade

Ere'eah's primary exports are various types of liana and vines which are utilized as either building material or food items by other Curnias city-states.

History

I can still smell the musky odor of the Cattle Moos I used to herd at the bottom of these cliffs.   ~ Garden-Queen Simarimes
 

The Seeds of a Garden

  The settlement that would later become Ere'eah, was founded by Simarimes during the closing years of the Principal Sun and initially served as a small farm for the cultivation of various animated plants such as Cattle Moss or Sloth Grass.   Given that the founding took place at the bottom of a titanic cliffside, whose surface was covered in viridescent mineral veins the settlement was originally known as Sem'lap Sulup'ocs ("Branch Cliff").   Though this was later changed to Ere'eah ("Hanging City") once the ongoing vertical expansion of the growing city began to cover up the surface of the cliff.  

Vines to the Heavens

  While the vertical expansion of Ere'eah had initially merely been the result of the jagged ground at the cliff's bottom being unsuitable for large scale constructions. It soon became a cornerstone of the city's construction planning.   The reason behind this decision was that the numerous protrusion and recesses of the cliff's surface turned to be ideally suited for the cultivation of various types of lianas, climbing vines, and rootless plants, whose sturdy yet highly flexible nature made them excellent building materials for the growing city.   Additionally once chopped into bite-sized pieces and macerated in either sweetened water or plant saps, these cliff-grown plants also make for some rather tasty food ingredients.   Following the expiration of the Principal Sun, these plants gained a third and arguably even more important application. As their Vitae-rich nature made them an excellent sacrificial power source for the vast resin-filled pools -called the Amber Suns-, upon which the Simarimes and her kind relied to stave off the abhorrent curse of their species.   This naturally led to a massive acceleration of Ere'eah's vertical expansion, which resulted in the construction of the first building at the cliff's summit within the timespan of a single year.  

Blossom of a City-State

  With the expansion of her city nearing completion, Simarimes began to shift her focus to the political and military growth of her city.   This caused her to engage in a series of power-political moves in order to strengthen Ere'eah's influence within the surrounding A'irtap basin.   Given the increasing wealth of the city-state as well as its strategic location, Simarimes' political maneuvering proved highly effective.   Yet it also began to draw the attention of the newly formed Sevenfold Alliance, which had only recently managed to establish itself as the biggest player within the basin's political arena.   It took Simarimes all of her rightfully famed negotiating skills as well as a lot of concession, gifts, and "unfortunate accidents", to convince the leaders of the Alliance to abandon their planned subjugation of Hanging City.

Architecture

The central piece of Ere'eah's architecture is the so-called "Verdant Mesh", which is an extensive meshwork of lianas, climbing plants, and hemp ropes that covers nearly the entire surface of the Sem'lap's cliff and which serves as the suspension system for the entire city.   Every other piece of the city's architecture from the smallest brazier to the largest vertical garden complex is either directly or indirectly connected to this meshwork.   This great deal of interconnectivity, therefore, enables the Mesh Maidens to modulate the absolute and relative position of all of the city's buildings, which in turn, allows them to remodel the shape of the entire city.  

Notable Buildings

 

Hall of the Garden Queen

  Located at the very top of Sem'lap's cliff the Hall of the Garden Queen is a flower-shaped building formed from an intricated meshwork of permanently blossoming lianas. The ever-changing colors of these flowers are even said to reflect the current mood of the Garden Queen herself.   While most of the city's nobility regard this idea as mere superstition, Simarimes herself has neither denied nor confirmed the supposed emotional link to her palace. This has allowed her to exploit the color's ambiguity to her advantage, by subtly changing the building's color with her immense shamanic powers and thereby add a powerful mysterious undertone to every single of her words.   In addition to its primary function as Simarimes' personal residence, the Hall of the Garden Queen also serves as the seat of the Hanging Council.
Alternative Name(s)
Hanging City, Dangling Gardens, Garden of Simarimes
Type
City
Inhabitant Demonym
Ere'sunu ("Hanging One")
Location under

The White Hunters

 
Triumph in the sky, or don't botter landing.   ~ Unroc Unnip, White Mantel
  The "White Mantels of Ere'eah" are the Rotanev ("Hunter") of the Hanging City's middle class that follow the example of the Ideal of the Gliding Huntsman, which is a male sub-ideal of the Ideal Huntress.   They commonly clad themselves in robes and mantels woven from the seeds of dandelions and other anemochorous plants, which is the reason behind their name.   While small in number and regarded with far less prestige than the other paths, they are nevertheless very good at their job and the foremost experts on the hunt and capture of flying and gliding plants.  

Maidens of the Mesh

 
This district is my assigned garden and I shall shape it like my Queen desires.   ~ Al'ugart'su, Mesh Maiden
  Mesh Maidens are a subtype of Rotara ("Farmer") unique to Ere'eah that handles the maintenance and repair of the Verdant Mesh.   They adhere to the teachings of the Garden Queen, which serves as their Sub-Idol in her function as the Ideal of the Floral Maiden.   Given that Simarimes is highly talented in the art of shamanic plant breeding and furthermore an old friend of the Ideal of the Gardener, it is no wonder that the Floral Maiden is revered by a sizable number of female gardeners outside of her city.  

Leap of Faith

  The "Jumping Priests" and "Tumbling Priestess" are the Rotatem ("Priest") of Ere'eah and specialize in the midair oblation of the numerous types of sacrificial plants, which are grown within the city's Dangling Gardens.   In order to perform these elaborate ceremonies, they frequently throw themselves from the protrusions and ridges of the cliff, trusting in their innate Rivergliding abilities as well as several elastic ropes to decelerate their fall before they hit the rocky ground at the cliff's bottom.  


Cover image: by artyangel

Comments

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Jun 12, 2020 19:53 by Jacob Billings

Great article, so let's delve into the feedback.  

Design

  One thing that draws further interest to the article is more heavy use of containers like quotes and alouds. Columns can be used to great effect in this area as well. Combined, these things can draw a greater interest to the article instead of just walls of text. Images could also be used here, though that falls down to world-preference.   With your quotes, especially the first, there is a bit of change you can make via BBCode(I'm not certain which editor you're on, so you can message me on Discord for further information) to include an author:  
[quote]Content
— Author[/quote]
 

CSS

  I don't know what all you know about CSS, but I would suggest either working on or asking someone to help work on your headers. It's really difficult to distinguish what headers are connected and in what order. Resizing the headers to have a clear hierarchy would be helpful. Following are all of the headers for you to compare.  

Header 1

 

Header 2

 

Header 3

 
Header 4
 

Grammar

  I didn't list every problem I found as a lot of your sentences were really long and neared the point of run-on sentences at various point. Because of that, I mainly focused on the finer details.  
In her reign, Simarimes is supported by a small council of six individuals, known as the Silis'nep Sutanes ("Hanging Council"), which is staffed by the current favorites of the Queen.
— Government
  You have a few strange tense issues here. "In her reign" doesn't quite work as "in" is the wrong type of preposition. Since you're implying that she still is reigning, you could just remove the "in her reign" completely.  
Yet while its members might be replaced based on the decisions of the Queen, the overall
— Government
  There should be a comma after "yet" because "while its members might be replaced based on the decisions of the Queen" is an appositive.  
Yet while its members might be replaced based on the decisions of the Queen, the overall composition of the council always includes a minimum of one Rebmu ("Hound of the Green Hunt"), one Xefitnop ("Master of Sacrifices"), and three A'iraipot ("Shaper of Flowers"), which clearly highlights the exalted positions those that walk upon the path of the Gardener hold at the court of Simarimes.
— Government
  This is almost certainly a run-on sentence as you use a number of different clauses numbering something around 3 or 4. I'd suggest breaking this sentence apart.  
The settlement which would later become the mighty city-state of Ere'eah was founded by its future ruler Simarimes during the closing years of the Principal Sun and initially served as a small farm for the cultivation of various animated plants such as Cattle Moss or Sloth Grass.
— The Seeds of a Garden
  The "which would later become the mighty city-state of Ere'eah" should be wrapped in commas as it is another appositive.  
The reason for this decision was that the numerous protrusion and recesses of the cliff's surface turned to be ideally suited for the cultivation of various types of lianas, climbing vines, and rootless plants, which were in great demand all over the A'irtap Basin, due to the great versatility that allowed them to be utilized as both construction materials and food items.
— Vines to the Heaven
  Another really long sentence that would almost certainly benefit from being cut into two different sentences.  

Content

  The article was very interesting overall. I liked the addition of roles in the sidebar, though you could probably give them their own shorter articles. The only problem that I found was that your sentences tended to be so long that you made them a paragraph, which can work in some specific instanced but it distracted me from the reading a bit.   The words that you use are also a bit hard to remember correctly, requiring constant referencing to connect all of the themes. Though that's not something that you can easily correct, I just wanted to mention it.

Jun 14, 2020 19:38 by Sloqush

Thank you for the feedback :)   I have already implemented some of it, and will continue to update the article while I climb the mountain that is Q's feedback :D   As for the CSS, I have absolutely zero experience with it, which is the reason why I use one of the premade themes -"Deadhouse Sonata" to be precise-.   Yet I nevertheless tried to modify the theme a bit, the results of which you can now see in the article.   Again thanks for the comment :)

Author of Cenorad ; a bleak-dark sandbox of creativity.
Jun 14, 2020 19:47 by Jacob Billings

That's a bit more clear. If you ever need help with CSS, you can message me on Discord :)

Jun 14, 2020 08:21

As always, Cenorad has just really cool and interesting stuff. Not entirely dissimilar to an idea I have for Araea!   I really like the idea of this trailing green splotch on the cliff wall, tendrils reaching in all directions.. Looking like moss or fungi on a wall but it's actually an enormous city. It's a very strong mental image - really cool stuff. :D  

Content

  That said, I think there's a lot of things here you could still expand on. What are the factions in the city? What is its military like? How do they get metal and stuff? Do they mine into the cliff?   Who do they trade with? What do they import and why?   Some more information or just fluff about day-to-day life could be very effective as well: tell us something about what it's like to be just an ordinary citizen? :)   While the history part of the city is pretty extensive, I wish there was more about the nitty and gritty of its daily, present existence :)   I have noticed a tendency towards overly long sentences in your writing, which is something worth keeping an eye on :) Generally, I try to limit my sentences to contain 1-2 (maybe 3) related ideas.  

Formatting

  Consider adding pictures or additional quotes to both tell us about the city (especially from a boots-on-the-ground) perspective. It'll also help the "look" of the article".   I'd also have a look at the spacing between some of the headers and the next part.   For example, I'd add another break between the last sentence of the vignette and Government header, as well as the last sentence of the Government part and the History Header.   On the Side Panel, I'd try that too, as well as removing the space between header (i.e "The White Hunters") and the first sentence of the text (i.e "The so-called ...")   If you can, it would be ideal if the side panel stretched all the way down the length of the main panel. If not, consider moving some of the stuff to the full-width footer, and just an additional panel later down if you need to.    

Specifics

 
Chose your next words carefully, for they will determine at which speed you will be reunited with the ground below.
  Oh, that's good. :D  
Built directly into the face of a sky-high cliffside, the city-state of Ere'eah is widely famed for the breathtaking beauty of its numerous, freely suspended gardens, which stretch all the way from the cliff's ridge to the bottom of the deep ravines laying at their foot.
  This sentence is a bit long at 46 words. I would think about splitting it up into several, each focusing on its own ideas. :)  
In addition to the marvelous appearance of its gardens, Ere'eah is also famed for the various high-quality herbal products it creates from their yield, which beside others include numerous types of prized fruits, potent medicinal herbs and a lightweight variant of Resin-Bronze known as O'gitrev ("Windflower Copper").
  Another very long sentence at 47. I'd think about splitting it up and also trimming it here and there. For example, you could probably cut "the marvelous appearance of its" and just leave "in addition to its gardens".   You also use "famed" for both traits of the city, I'd consider rewriting this part so you can use something else to reduce repetition.  
which beside others include
  This part is a bit awkward and you could cut it down to just "which include" :)  
The city of Ere'eah is ruled over by Garden-Queen Simarimes, which has served as the regent of the city since the day of its founding thereby making her one of the oldest and most influential rulers of any Curnias city-state.
  I believe that should be "who has served"   It's another sentence at 40 words, so consider splitting it up! :)  
Yet while its members might be replaced based on the decisions of the Queen, the overall composition of the council always includes a minimum of one Rebmu ("Hound of the Green Hunt"), one Xefitnop ("Master of Sacrifices"), and three A'iraipot ("Shaper of Flowers"), which clearly highlights the exalted positions those that walk upon the path of the Gardener hold at the court of Simarimes.
  Another really long sentence at 64 words, which some words you can probably cut.   I'd probably split it into 3, 2 if you can cut e nough words.   1. "yet while" could be cut back to "While its members"   2. "the overall composition of the council always" could be cut back to just "the council always includes"   3. "which clearly highlights" I recommend cutting "clearly" - if it is clear, there's no need to say it it. ;)  
I can still smell the musky odor of the Cattle Moos, I used to herd at the bottom of these cliffs.
  Don't need that comma in the middle  
The settlement which would later become the mighty city-state of Ere'eah was founded by its future ruler Simarimes during the closing years of the Principal Sun and initially served as a small farm for the cultivation of various animated plants such as Cattle Moss or Sloth Grass.
  Another long one at 47 :)   Cattle Moss and Sloth Grass both sound awesome, and are perfect things to talk about briefly in the side panel if you wanted to expand that.   Additionally "The settlement which would later become the mighty city-state of Ere'eah was founded by its future ruler Simarimes" is a bit awkward: Consider trimming it back to something like just "The settlement that would become Ere'eah began as..."   You don't need to tell us that she's the future ruler here, since you've already mentioned it above.  
Given that the founding took place at the bottom of a large cliffside, whose surface was covered in viridescent mineral veins the settlement was originally known as Sem'lap Sulup'ocs ("Branch Cliff"), though this was later changed to Ere'eah ("Hanging City") once the ongoing vertical expansion of the growing city began to cover up the surface of the cliff.
  Another really long sentence here at 58! Consider splitting it.   It might be worth upgradeing the descriptor for the cliffside, too. Instead of merely large, is it massive? Titanic? :)  
result of its surrounding geography
  I'm not sure I understand what this part of the sentence means; the geography being the cliff? I assume they also had the flat ground to build on, though? If not, might be worth talking about.  
The reason for this decision was that the numerous protrusion and recesses of the cliff's surface turned to be ideally suited for the cultivation of various types of lianas, climbing vines, and rootless plants, which were in great demand all over the A'irtap Basin, due to the great versatility that allowed them to be utilized as both construction materials and food items.
  Another long one at 62 words. Good candidate for splitting up - also tell us something more about these plants and what makes them good building material, perhaps.  
Following the expiration of the Principal Sun, these plants gained a third and arguably even more important application as sacrificial fuel for the Amber Suns, which the Curnias relied upon to stave off their newly returned affliction.
  Another sort of long one at 37.   In addition, we don't know anything about any of these things: they may be good candidates to give an excerpt on or a side panel item. It's also unclear you you are referring to when you say "their affliction" or who/what "the Curnias" are :)  
This led to an almost frenzied intensification of Ere'eah's vertical expansion, which resulted in the construction of the first building at the cliff's summit within the timespan of a single year.
  I would cut "almost" and let it be frenzied. I'd also consider skipping 'intensification' and perhaps use a term like frenzy of construction or such. :)  
With the structural growth of her city nearing completion, Simarimes began to shift her focus to the political and military growth of her city, which lead her to engage in a series of power-political moves in order to strengthen Ere'eah's influence within the A'irtap basin.
  Another long one! 45 words!   "the structural growth" is a bit wordy, why not just "growth" or "expansion"? :)   Also, you have mentioned the A'irtap basin several times but there's been no information about it - another good candidate for a side panel item! :D  
Given the increasing wealth of the city-state as well as its strategic location, Simarimes' political maneuvering proved highly effective, to the point that it began to draw the attention of the newly formed Sevenfold Alliance, which had only recently managed to establish itself as the biggest player within the basin's political arena.
  Another very long sentence at 52 words. Another player we don't yet know anything about, another potential expansion! Either as a side panel item, or maybe even add an entire "diplomatic relations" header are possible :)  
It took Simarimes all of her rightfully famed negotiating skills as well as a lot of concession, gifts and "unfortunate accidents", to secure Ere'eah's independence from the alliance, though, in the end, she managed to convince the leaders of the Alliance to abandon their planned subjugation of Hanging City.
  Another long sentence at 49 words. Also, your capitalization of Alliance is inconsistent in this part of the story :)  
The central piece of Ere'eah's architecture is the so-called "Verdant Mesh", which is an extensive meshwork of lianas, climbing plants and hemp ropes that covers nearly the entire surface of the Sem'lap's cliff and thereby serves as the suspension system for the entire city.
  Another long one at 44.  
Every other piece of architecture from the smallest brazier to the largest vertical garden complex is either directly or indirectly connected to this meshwork, which allows the Mesh Maidens to modulate their exact position on the cliff's surface and thereby remodel the shape of the entire city.
  You use "and thereby" again here, and this is also by far the most interesting part of the city! It's a shame you don't go into more detail or expand more on this. I'd love to know more about how this affects life in the city. :)   Also, a bit long at 47 words  
Located at the very top of Sem'lap's cliff the Hall of the Garden Queen is a flower-shaped building formed from an intricated meshwork of permanently blossoming lianas, whose ever-changing colors are said to reflect the current mood of the Garden Queen herself.
  Also a bit long at 42 words :)  
While most of the city's nobility regard this idea as mere superstition, Simarimes herself has neither denied nor confirmed the supposed emotional link to her palace, which has allowed her to exploit the color's ambiguity to her advantage but subtly changing the building's color with her immense shamanic powers and thereby add a powerful mysterious undertone to her every single of her words.
  1. Also long at 63   2. This lady sounds awesome and I hope we're getting a character article.     All in all, a great piece of work that I think it rife to be expanded on to create something really, really fantastic. It's just lacking the details of life that lets us live, breath and walk in those vine-shoes :)   Great job, Sloq!


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.
Jun 16, 2020 11:26 by Eidal (former Etalia) Louwatt

I love this article so much! I'm a sucker for settlements built in unusual ways like this.  

Design and formatting

I agree with Jac here that your headers are a bit confusing at times. Apart from that I think it's good however, you break it up well in sections and the quotes and sidebar adds very well to the article as a whole.   I know images can be hard to find for things like this, but some sort of pictures could really spruce up the article I think, giving a bit of colour and more feeling to it!  

Spelling and grammar

I'll try not to repeat anything said by the others here. I also didn't really notice the long sentences just so you know haha.  
It took Simarimes all of her rightfully famed negotiating skills as well as a lot of concession, gifts and "unfortunate accidents", to secure Ere'eah's independence from the alliance, though, in the end, she managed to convince the leaders of the Alliance to abandon their planned subjugation of Hanging City.
— Blossom of a City-State
  This sentence is a bit clunky, the use of "though, in the end," makes it sound like there will come something opposed to the first part of the sentence while in reality you just confirm what is said in the first part.  
While most of the city's nobility regard this idea as mere superstition, Simarimes herself has neither denied nor confirmed the supposed emotional link to her palace, which has allowed her to exploit the color's ambiguity to her advantage but subtly changing the building's color with her immense shamanic powers and thereby add a powerful mysterious undertone to her every single of her words.
— Hall of the Garden Queen
  Just a little miss in the end there "...add a powerful mysterious undertone to her every single of her words.".   Also, you've misspelled the word "settlements" as the name of the category!  

Content

I absolutely love this. The city sounds super cool, and Simarimes a very fitting leader of it. You manage to fit so many unique details in the article without it feeling cramped or confusing, which makes the city feel really alive. It really succeeds in making me want to know more! I'm especially curious about the people living in the city. What is common life like? What do people do for a living if they're not farming or priests? What do the buildings look like?