035 Babylon's Job Season 1 Episode 3
General Summary
Someplace Elsewhere
"The fuck is 'zazz'?" Remix asked.
"Language." Blackstar scolded from the kitchen.
Babylon rolled her eyes in unison with Remix. If she was a good guy she might look at the team of kids with pity or sorrow. 'They were just kids' the refrain usually went. Kids were too young to be dealing with the kinda shit they got themselves into. Tryin' to keep 'em safe wasn't an option with Daedalus's sights on this verse.
"In more scientific or corporate circles what's called 'zazz' is known as 'gamma-class anomalous objects'." Malious answered. His hair was still soaked through. The sweats and tee he was wearing shouldn't've been fitting, but the pink stars and unicorns some how matched the old man. "And it's an incredibly fascinating phenomenon that's terribly under understood."
"Anyone that tells you they know how it works is lyin' to you." Babylon's gravelly voice added.
"Why's the old guy wearing Mixie's jammies?" Void asked, more occupied with her yogurt cup than the fact that a team of skip-jacks just tried to merc their whole team.
"Mally can't swim," Babylon said as if that was an answer.
"I fished him out of Lake Halcyon." A werewolf too big for the couch he was cramped on spoke up. Power Pup stared off into the middle distance. He sure as shit cared about those skip-jacks. "After the helicopters showed up, everything went to shit. Meeting with mothball went to shit."
"But what the fuck is zazz??" Remix snapped.
"Language!" Another scolding came from the kitchen. Shortly after by Blackstar holding a tray of sandwiches. "But... they have a good point. We should know what they're trying to get from Buzz."
"Bastet and her wife are the foremost experts on zazz." Babylon shrugged. "The way they tell it, and I trust 'em to be right more than most, is that it's broken shit. But it's broke in a... pataphysical way."
Blank stares. "Like, here's an example." Babylon pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She flipped the box open and dumped the last nicotene filled paper tube on the table. "This pack got one last smoke in it." She closed the pack, opened it back up, and pulled another one out. "But it forgot that when you take the last one out, you're supposed to be empty."
"Okay, so your pack of cancer sticks is a matter-material replication device." Brightdawn swapped in. "So what? Iron Defender has one of those up in the Citadel."
Babylon tossed the normal cardboard box at Brightdawn. "How you fit one of those in cardboard? Ain't magic either. Run all your test on it and it'll comeback mundane as anything else. It's broke."
Brightdawn examined the pack with astonishment and horror.
"They could completely flood the market with cigarettes and crush their competition." Power Pup's eyes widened in terrible realization. "Smoking would go through the roof. Cancer rates would skyrocket. Daedalus's medical division would stand to make record proffits."
"Not quite," Malious gently corrected. "They're looking to create what are known as 'Red Rounds'. Bullets who's causal narrative has been reversed, making them incredibly lethal."
"And Buzz has these 'Red Rounds'?" Amethyst switched in and spoke up.
"Nah." Babylon took a bite of her sandwich and leaned against the counter. "If you wanna make red rounds, first you gotta kill the universe."
Krshhk finally came out of her daze and spoke up, "Then we have to stop them."
> Establishing secure connection… > Connection established. > Network security verified. > Certifying user credentials… > Certified. “Welcome to DiS Secure Off-Site Server Troy, user0304!” [[The following is a transcript of security footage from Daedalus Industrial Security’s Nemex headquarters, captured the night of the Icarus Incident. The following has been titled Event E]] Time: 2100 Hours Location: Nemex HQ, Research Suite 700 Two researchers study a gamma-class anomalous object, and two security personnel oversee the air-lock corridor in and out of the lab. A white-furred kitsune (entity codenamed ‘Snow') emerges from the bathrooms across the hall from the lab. Roger Conrad: Who the hell are you? Snow: We're from the fourth floor, here to take a look at your research. I have my credentials, if I can approach the desk? Conrad: What the fuck? This is our find, fourth floor shouldn't be down here. Conrad unlocks the air-lock. Alarms trigger from Event A. Lute music begins to play from the bathroom. Dr. Iltani Breton: What the fuck are these assholes doing here? Breton relocks the air-lock. The other entities emerge from the bathroom. Elven archer codenamed ‘Artemis’ not present. Suspected first relative appearance of human woman codenamed ‘Glory.’ All other entities accounted for. A fight ensues. During the fight, Snow displays mastery of outer god energies. Breton, in reference to Snow's abilities: Take that one in for study. Snow: I'm not an SCP! Glory: You picked the wrong outer god to pray to. Breton: Maybe if I get that one under the knife, I‘ll change my mind. Glory: I'm gonna enjoy killing you. Breton is disemboweled by codename ‘Lightning.’ The intruders proceed to finish off the remaining security forces. Codename ‘Flash’ drags Breton to the biometric scanner and unlocks the security door. Codename ‘Skull’ accesses the console and disables the security field around the gamma-class anomalous object. Security feed cuts out. Addendum: A note to Researchers Attempt to discover the source of Snow’s energies. Courting that outer god could prove profitable.Babylon had another job for the Dead Reckoners, so she decided to come pick them up from the carriage. Again with the simple words, “Yuki, make it seamless,” the party appeared in the strange dimension of steel, glass and odd technology. Anya, this being her first experience to use Pink to travel, felt not fear from the long dark of the process but instead a deep and foreboding sense of doom, while mid conversation with Babylon. Babylon dropped the party off in a bathroom close to their goal with simple but perhaps unclear instructions: get the shoes she wanted, meet her at the loading dock, and do it before the shipping container full of explosives went off. Yuki stepped out of the bathroom and saw researchers and security personnel past a tightly controlled glass corridor. She told them some things that weren't true, trying to get them to let her in. It would have worked- if Babylon's ‘other team’ hadn't caused alarms to go off at the same time. Anya unlocked the security doors by pressing the release button with her telekinetic hand. Tohl and Aurora rushed in, unleashing a flurry of attacks before Aurora was downed and Tohl got a gaping wound. Fenghi and Yuki cast spells to frighten enemies and support allies. Lazzul shattered one of the glass walls to grapple the enemy that downed Aurora. A basilisk gene-beast came from down the hall, engaging Billy. The enemies fought back with eldritch energies from an outer god- but fell one by one regardless. With the shoes acquired, the hunting party worked on exfiltration. Anya got the elevators working. Lazzul threw some loose gene beasts out a window. Billy, Aurora and Yuki worked on disabling the scrying sensors while Elira… lets call it caused a distraction. Fenghi fast-talked his way past some guards. Everyone made their way to the loading dock quickly and quietly. Another fight was waiting for them there. Several more basilisk gene beasts, as well as security bots, sat on a catwalk about the dock. But the party realized this area was familiar- it was the same loading dock they had arrived in during the first Babylon job. In fact, the door that Babylon blew up was still in a state of disrepair. And the shipping container she tossed a cigarette out in was burning- wait, the only way that would make sense was if they were there on the same night. Were the future Dead Reckoners the ‘other crew’ the entire time? And wasn't that burning shipping container full of explosives? The Steel Chair booked it to the motorcycles Babylon had left for them a few months- hours?- ago. The basilisks were determined to slow the party down through their petrifying gazes but were unable to catch them, thanks to several well-placed illusory walls. The party escaped on the bikes and met up with Babylon. Babylon took the zazz’d up kicks and gave the party their payment, including modifying their bikes to work on Cellaphage’s runic magic. Then she returned the party to the carriage. It was just as sudden as their departure and it seemed to others that they'd only been gone a moment.
Report Date
04 May 2025