A Castrovel Adventure: Part 4, Chapter 39

In which Lady Vaeol contemplates the challenges of transitioning back from motherhood to warriorhood.

From the Daylog of Vaeol-Zheieveil Yaranevae be’Son

14. Evelae, 24,544 - Leiss Farmhold
We gladly homecame yesternight to my brother’s kindred, rubbed down the Shotalashu, stowed gear, and slept with the Stormtide wind rocking our bower. This morn, we shortly brought word to Her Highness Lady Zhaene, who will swiftly send to Son, and then heard Lady Vifaul the High Matron’s speech to the Matrons. We left, however, ere they ended, for we had no forbearance and would instead spend time with house and kin.
After I helped Remaue and Less with the cookcraft and yielded some lovely time with Lanaryel, Tesine, Yaraess, and the other children, I did something I have not done in years. I had eresworn I would forsake weapons until Aeosel grows to childhood. Yet I took my swordbill and joined Vosaeth and Tae on the drillyard. Under the drizzle I swung and thrust my blade in the old drills I had learned at the Citadel until my arms wearied, my back and thighs ached, and my breath lost. Though we had ere done body-drills, even wielding our babes as weights, it is not the same. Against my hope for peace, this war is not yet ended, and I may not have the idleness of waiting to let my babe reach childhood, if the Zhihaufa raid against us was any hint. The sooner I can fight, the sooner I can ward him.

16. Evelae, 24,544 - Leiss Farmhold
Against these last two days’ drill that have left my legs and arms aching and my bosom sore, today I witted Kaure wielding knives and could not withhold trial. After a few strides I found her strokes cunningly swift, belying her weight. When no seldom tides she tickled my ribs with a wooden drill-blade, I deemed she has found her weapon-wise. She can wield two blades together and deftly misdraw between, or a lone blade with a nimble grasp. Even plightier, with these blades’ short reach, she needs but a half-step near to bring her weightier might and awesome hips into the match, wherein she had already proven with but an elbow and and hip-swing she may easily throw me. It took my whole skill to dodge and flee while sniping blows. Laterward, I told my maidenmate that, if ever we must fight earnestly, I would choose swordbills, whose longer reach I can wield to behoof. Sportily she dared to so fight me. Though I proved my doughtiness, she afterhunted with a reckless eagerness, warning she would not let me slack.
At yardside, Remaue, minding our children, watched. Afterward when she gave me back Aeosel, she leaned in, kissed my antennae, and outthought: ~O’dumi eisalaere linere yi thesirassere,~ - “See how far our little maidenmate has come.” I could merely answer: ~Loe,~ - “She is worthy.” Remaue smiled at my underword, for she witted my heart and more than my meaning, and added: ~E shi haele-se. O’olli seholis,~ - “Under your hand she has grown. Teach her well.”

18. Evelae, 24,544 - Lea
Today at the farmhold we had first readied to go into the city and gather at Her Highness’s mirthtide. While we dressed, Threarde came and beseeched word with Vosaeth.
~A Shae-me,~ she began: “My Queen,” (which odd dearname hearkens back to the Thief-Queens): ~Dei shili shoea-shyaes o’ivassi?~ - “Do you truly love me and would ward me?”
Something in her mood bewared, and Vosaeth and I had the same thought, that Threarde might have somewise sinned and would beg forgiveness. ~O’shili-sei,~ - “Truly so,” answered Vosaeth reckfully. Then she bade her housemate speak her heart.
Threarde knelt, a queer deed among the Retaea, and dolefully for a Damaya. ~Namas mi kadas o kieza,~ - “One blessed us at the clanmoot,” she stuttered, and set hand on her belly. ~Delanzyelas, eshi vae temi.~ - “He is forgone, though his life stays.” A shudder shook Threarde’s body, who spoke of Vohyd, Vosaeth’s champion who had died at weapon-trial under the Zhihuafa’s axe, and whom I had missed to heal. Vosaeth and all her housemates had taken his fullness for good luck, and against the threat, outproven true, that he might die. After that while, their work and his blessing had found seed in Threarde’s womb. I almost reckoned her fearful of Vosaeth’s mighty answer. 
Yet if my oath-sister held any wrath, her eyes’ tears proved it wrathful glee while she leapt to her housemate, fell before her, and wrapped her in arm. ~Neandis!~ - “You have saved him!” So she repeated as her only word until sobs overcame. Then they wept together while Remaue, Kaure, and I dumbly set hands on their shoulders.
Not to be swayed from this blessingtide, Vosaeth swiftly called the whole household, ingathering hers, mine, and our hosts, whomto she shouted the news. The Korasha anon knelt and uptook a mighty cheer-song while Vosaeth outwilled Threarde to stand, which she shyly did. Then we yielded worship in trend, kneeling and laying brow upon her belly. Leief, Eneash, and Onull waited last and together knelt. Then they swore their lives, as Vohyd had been their harem-brother, that Threarde’s child shall be all theirs to serve, ward, and raise.
While Threarde tearfully stood among their bowed brows, Vosaeth still weeping neared. Blessingly she stroked her haremmates’ napes, and then overleaned and kissed Threarde. Then she bequoth: ~O’zimi illi eaya utha-ma, o’vae eshodi, oe sere realm miere,~ - “This shall too be my child, even until my life, and I name you my sister.” Then we raised a hymn and beseeched Green-Mother for her daughter who has taken the gods’ might into her flesh.
Vosaeth afterward bade me go without her to Her Highness’s mirthtide, whereafter now we stay at the embassy. Yet I surely boded my oath-sister's worship to the High Matron, along with her gladness's outlay that her dead champion outlives in her housemate’s womb. Lady Vifaul, who had right witnessed the aftermath of Vohyd’s death, has bidden me take back her blessing, though with merry chide that Lea also will yield worship at this merry news.

2. Asealae, 24,544 - Leiss Farmhold
We late yesterday homecame, for which I am thankful, and held Treesong with our hosts Mirazael and Elarue. As forespoken, today the neighbor midwife-priest came and met Threarde, whereat she read the signs so far, foretold a healthy babe and birthtide, and bestowed her blessing. We have also begun teaching Threarde the Retaean mother-hymns so that she may know them ere we recleave the clan. She has now added her throat to Vosaeth’s for that eager wish.
My only woe is that at drilltide the men withhold to fight me. I beseeched Hanos to spar. Yet he naysaid. I then beseeched Less, who bowed from my gaze and withdrew. I shrove myself flustered at this outcome of the men withholding.
Next I knew, Oshis stood before with hand raised. ~A Mae, o’illi di risse,~ “He boldly bade: “Mother, you will not fight.” Rather shamefully I asked by what right he dared forbid me. ~Eayelse eisamae,~ - “You are my mothermate,” he outlaid. ~O'reles-sei di risif, oe domas assamauas risyas.~ - “In your worship, I will not fight you, as neither will any man of our house.”
Peevishly I asked how he would keep me from fighting other men, Vosaeth’s haremmates or even my brother or Mirazael’s manmates. He evenly answered he would speak and bewin them. I then asked how he would behave if I struck him and so made him fight me. 
In afterdeed, he knelt, drew hands behind his back, and bade me do so. Hereso he called my bluff, forwhy he knew my stroke would shame myself more than I could forbear.
With an unsooth heat in my brain, I threatened I could ban him. At once I rued my own word. 
Oshis did not even waste answer. His antennae waved high. His brow cocked, but elsewise he stared unbelievingly. Too well I understood his thought: after all we had undergone, the Komori, my mother’s ban-curse against him, his flight to Elahat, Lady Erenyae’s blackmail, and our raid overthrowing her to free him. He understood I would not ban him.
An empty chill that squeezed my belly and stilled my heart. Guilt befelt an unforgivable sin that I should even reckon my mother’s same sin, and grown worse under Oshis so mildly behaving. My knees buckled as I wished the earth to swallow me and so die.
Next I knew, Oshis upbore me, binding me in his mighty arms. I beat his stout shoulders and sobbingly bade him drop me, forwhy I felt utterly unworthy from my evil thought. Unbeswayed, he lifted me higher, nestling me against his hairy breast. Next he bore me to the hometree, whereunder Vosaeth’s tents stood. Instead of bringing me upstairs, however, he hung my legs over his shoulders and leaned me against the treebeam. Thus I hung curled between him and the hometree, our brows touching, and antennae entwined, though under shame I withheld from mindshare and sobbed, against his enheartening word.
Then, maybe from the Komori’s slight, or maybe from the hometree reading our minds, I wiselessly witted our thoughts mingling. At his ruth and forgiveness I naysaid, though he hushed me and laid his whiskery lips on mine Aslanta-wise. I sagged between his arms and breast almost swoonily.
Somewhile I know not how long later, Erymi and Remaue found us there. They overknelt and woke us, teasing our dearness. Then Erymi bade her manmate bear me upstairs to the limb-bower and leave me to Remaue’s heed, and then to follow Erymi to their cot, forwhy she would yield him such love as he had yielded me. When I whined at being shifted, Remaue kindly chided and warned that if guilt still holds me, she has the wise to make be beshrive boot. At our cot she bade Oshis lay me abed against her bosom, where in mindshare her fingers combed my hair while she idled through my thoughts, and misnaming me a silly highborn lady.
After my guilt faded, and against this dear deed, my riddle outstays: how can I truly drill if Oshis forbids me to fight men? If war finds us, we cannot forewarrant that wives only will fight me. Furthermore, I have ever prided prowess against men, my wins against Krastaes and Kazos as proof.
On a later whit, Heaventide began today, a quick flash of sunlight through the sky, a gold and blue heavenly show that soon had us all kneeling and throats singing hymn, and reminded me of Semuane’s shining tresses away south in Qabarat. Vosaeth, Tae, and I uplifted our sons high and beseeched Burning-Mother’s blessing.
Against the swift sight, our host Mirazael with a farmer's wisdome foretells Heaven will clear tonight. Furthermore, if I have truly kept my starlore-tally, tonight Elindrae will show full. With this thought, Remaue, Vosaeth, and I put forth to Kaure that she shall lead a moontide, for we reckon this as Vuaeul’s Night. So we yaysaid, a rich duskmeal is cooking, and we shall gaze up to the moon and ask Their blessing.

Lashunta Words & Phrase:

• ~o'Dumi~: to the eye; obviously; apparently
• ~Eisalae~ (feminine): maidenmate; committed younger female lover
• ~Shae~ (feminine): queen
• ~A Shae-me~ (vocative): my/our queen
• ~Shili~ (spiritual): truth; accuracy
• ~Namas~ maculine of ~nama~: person; someone
• ~Eisamae~ (feminine): mothermate; mother of one's child.