A note to my love

A love note, made out to Felicia.

Contents

To my love one true love, Felicia

I can not handle this anymore. My landlord has been far too overbearing for far too long. I must take action against him. I know that you and I have been working on my anger management issues, and I should never turn to violence to solve my problems. But this landlord will not understand any other language! I have tried to talk peacefully about bringing down my rent, or having him clear out the rust monster infestation in the basement. But all I get is laughed at and told that I need to pay up lest he kick me out. I can't go back to the streets. Not again. It would be too much on Oliver and Olivia. They deserve a warm house. They shouldn't have to face the cold for even one night more. I know what I must do. I shall find a unicorn, steal it's horn and cast the wish spell to clear out my debt. I have found a portal to a demi plane that would serve nicely for the ritual. I am going to hire some mercenaries to help me track the unicorn down, and I shall do the evil deed. Once I am free of this debt, you will love me again, won't you? I need to know that you will... I DO know that you will! How could you not? You left me because of my crushing debt, and soon, I won't have it! YES, I SHALL HUNT THIS UNICORN TOMORROW! I SHALL HAVE MY TRUTH BACK, ALL FOUR OF US WILL LIVE TOGETHER ONCE MOOOOREEEE!!!!

Faithfully your,

Damien, the Wizard

PS: I got a little crazy with the spelling at the end there. I know misspellings are your pet peeve. Please do not hold that against me.