Pehtas - pehTAHS

Very small fey humanoids with flaming red hair and every inch of their skin is covered in blue tattoos in a majical language. They wear traditional highland kilts and carry tiny little claymores. They are best known for their drinking, fighting, stealing, and foul language.

Basic Information

Anatomy

Pictsies look like six inch tall highland scots wearing traditional kilts and carrying tiny claymores. Some will use small animal (mouse, rat, rodent) skulls as helmets.

Biological Traits

Pictsies have one major majical ability; the Crawstep. A single Pictsie may use the crawstep to travel to an adjacent plane. This effect works like the spell plane shift with the following exceptions:

It only affects the Pictsie

The Pictsie can only carry up to 10 lbs. of matter

That matter may be anyone in the Pictsies' clan as long as they are a born member or honorary, as declared by a kelda it must be to a neighboring plane (from the Material plane, that means Shadowfell, Feywild, Ethereal, or Astral Planes)

They must have unfettered feet movement ("It's all in the twist of the ankle, ye ken")

They never use the crawstep to take a shortcut through the Material Plane. For that, they assure others, they have "feets". After using your crawstep, you can't use it again until you complete a long rest.

Growth Rate & Stages

Pictsies mature very quickly. A new born pictsie will reach young adulthood in a single year. They have a life span similar to humans, although they rarely live that long usually getting killed doing something foolish.

Ecology and Habitats

Due to a pictsie's natural resiliency they can be found in nearly any environment and biome. They live in underground burrows usually dug into the old burial mounds of larger races or small natural cave networks. The main room, or Great Hall, will be just big enough for a small child to sit cross legged, if they hunch over. The entry to their burrows is just bid enough for a small child to wriggle into. While they can be found in any environment, they prefer temperate farmland or rocky highlands, due to the availability of sheep to steal for food. They have also been known to settle near small towns or villages so that they can steal alchohol or the occasional shiney thing.

Dietary Needs and Habits

The pictsie diet is very simiar to the highland scottish, but it includes substantially more booze. They prefer roasted sheep, haggis, bread, and lots of beer or hard alchohol.

Biological Cycle

After reaching maturity in a single year pictsies age the same as humans.

Behaviour

Pictsie behaviour breaks down into three major categories; Drinking, fighting, and stealing. All of which is embraced with wild abandon.

While pictisies are technically considered fairies, it is a very bad idea to call them that to their faces. Doing so is usually painful, normally resulting in being headbutted on the forehead resulting in unconsiousness.

Additional Information

Social Structure

The pictsie society breaks down into several warring clans or tribes. The combat is mostly ceremonial, resulting mostly in bruises and headaches due to their near invulnerability. For the most part though the various clans of pictsies leave each other alone, preferring to gather in large numbers for the annual Great Pictsie Games. The Great Pictsie Games are fought for bragging rights and of course the reward of huge amounts of alchohol.

Each pictsie clan is ruled by it lone female, the mother of the entire clan, who is the final word in all matters. Even the most argumentative pictsie will eventually submit to the will of the ruling female, even if begrudgingly. When a female is born, upon reaching maturity they will be married to a member of another clan and the two of them will venture off into the world to find a new territory for their new clan where the female will give birth to many pictsies until a new female is born.

Sometimes a female pictsie is born to take up the mantlehead of clan leader when the current female has reached the end of her life. This is always a big and solemn affair, the elder female upon passing is buried in the deepest part of the pictsie burrow with only the most valuable items that the clan has stolen during the female's life.

Domestication

Under no circumstances are pictsies to be considered domesticated and should be treated as wild animals at all times, especially when they are being reasonable.

Geographic Origin and Distribution

Originally from the Fae Realm, they were evicted from there by the Fairy Queen for being a general niusance and the source of many headaches. They would steal and plunder from other worlds for the Queen's pleasure. While they didn't mind and largely enjoyed the adventure and theft, the pictsies were less enthusiastic about fighting the weak and stealing from the poor. The Queen did not have the same sense of what was right, and she was never satisfied.

Some time after the falling out between the Fairy Queen and the King of the Elves, the Queen somehow tricked the Nac Mac Feegle. They rebelled, broke away from the rule of the Queen, and took up residence on the Discworld as free agents. They remember vehemently with the battle cry: "Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We cannae be fooled again!"

Since their settling on the Discworld, they have since started exploring and expanding into new territories. They have been attracted to Ardu's natural majic field and some have settled on Ardu forming their own clans. Due to their high natural resistance to effectively everything they can be found anywhere on Ardu, although they do tend to avoid the taller races, whom they call "big jobs".

Average Intelligence

The tribes of pictsies have a very shrewd and cunning intelligence, however they have a very hard time understanding any concept that doesn't directly apply to their way of life. For example, a pictsie will have a have a very hard time understanding the entire concept of government or money, but they will be able to figure out and disable the most cunning majical traps with ease.

Perception and Sensory Capabilities

Pictsie senses are finely tuned to find anything hidden and to detect alchohol. The more something is hidden the more easily they will be abgle to find it, especially booze. It is also important to mention that due to a pictsie's natural hardiness they are extremely resistant to poisoning and will gladly drink things such as turpentine or kerosene and only become very drunk and a little flushed.

Civilization and Culture

Naming Traditions

Male: Big Angus, Nearly Big Angus, Not-as-big-as-Big-Angus Angus, Wee Angus, Rob Anybody, Big Archie, One-eyed Archie, Wee Mad Archie, Wee Bobby, Not-totally-wee Geordie, Slightly Sane Georgie, Hamish, Wee Iain, Medium-Sized Jock, No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock Jock, Wee Jock, Daft Wullie, Big Yan

Female: Aggie, Fion, Jeannie

Clan: Nac Mac Feegle, Long Lake, Three Peaks, Windy River

Courtship Ideals

Pictsie courtship is an awkward affair. While the female is very intelligent by even human standards, the male on the other hand very much less so. Courtship usually lasts about six months. If the female has accepted the male she will tell him in plainest way possible to his face.

Average Technological Level

Pictsies eshchew any form of technology, having little use for it. Pictsie blacksmithing is the most advanced technology that they have. Pictsie swords are extremely strong and can easily put up with the most extreme abuse. It is not uncommon for them to use their claymore swords as crow/pry bars, hammers, or just about any tool use that makes any kind of sense and sometimes as ones that don't.

Major Language Groups and Dialects

Pictsies speak their own native tounge and common. Although when a pictsie speaks common their speech will be peppered with their own native words, which can make communicating with a pictsie confusing.

Common Etiquette Rules

Manners for pictsies are a very loose affair unless the Kelda, or clan leader, places an importance on them. In such cases manners will be observed reluctently in front of the Kelda, but uqickly abandoned as soon as they think they are out of the Kelda's sight.

The Kelda of the clan is treated with the utmost respect and the clan will expect any outsider to treat the Kelda with the same respect. This is because the Kelda is frequently the only female in the clan and because the Kelda has what they call "the sight", a form of prophecy that allows them to see the future through sybolic dreams.

Common Dress Code

HIghland Kilts and not much else, including the females. It is very common for female pictsies to not wear any type of top, leaving their breasts bare. If asked about it the questioner will be met with the typical pictsie argumentativeness. Like most things involving pictsie culture it is best just to leave it and deal with any uncoomfortableness that you may have. Also, Pictsies do not wear any type of shoe, they just fall off at he most inopportune time and as such are avoided.

Culture and Cultural Heritage

In pictsie society the male that marries the female and goes to settle a new burrow has the special position in their culture known as MacGonagle. They are the keepers of histories and tellers of the tales of great pictsie heroes and tellers of bad poetry. To understand the quality of pictsie poetry, please read the works of the Scottish poet William MacGonagle.

The clan ManGonagle and a small percentage of the clan also play what the pictsies call the "mouse pipes", a very small version of the bagpipes. The sound of which is just at the upper end of the hearing range of most humanoids. Any player race who hears the mouse pipes being played will only hear a hint of high pitch noise and it will feel like the wax in their ears is bubbling. The music does not cause any damage, but any fae who hear it will instictively run away due to the well earned pictsie reputation of trouble.

Common Customs, Traditions and Rituals

Any excuse for excessive drinking, partying, and fighting.

Common Taboos

Never call a pictsie a fairy.
Never attempt to give a pictsie a job, always frame it as a form of stealing or fighting.
Never attempt to apply any form of government upon them, you will only be met with their only form of motto "Na Quin, Na King, Na Laird! We never be fooled again!" and then headbutted.

History

The Pictsies were once servants of the Queen of the Fairies, acting as her primary raiding party and stealing things away to the Feywild. According to them, they rebelled because she was a "scheming, greedy, ill-fared carlin" and went independent, coming to the material plane to seek their fortune. Some other, more sober, sources say they were kicked out of the Feywild for being drunk at 2 in the afternoon. The truth may be closer to their refusal to steal children for the Queen.

Pictsie Glossary:

A short glossary follows of Pictsie words, phrases, and pronunciation.

ach - Oi
aye - yes
bairn - baby
beid - bed
besom - broomstick
bigjobs - possibly derogatory, humans
blethers - rubbish, nonsense
brose - (ambrosia?) booze
canna - cannot
carlin - old woman
chookie - chicken
cludgie - toilet
crivens - a general exclamation that can mean anything from "My goodness" to "I've just lost my temper and there is going to be trouble."
cushy stuff - bed with pillows
dinna - do not
doon - down
dreeing our weird - facing our fate
eldritch - weird, strange. Sometimes means oblong, too, for some reason.
geas - a very important obligation, backed up by tradition and magic. Not a bird
gob - mouth
gummer - bite
hag - witch of any age
hiddlins - secrets
heich-heidit - posh
heid - head
hoose - house
jiggit - 20
ken - know
laird - lord
moose - mouse
mudlin - useless person
nae - no
no' - not
noo - now
o' - of
offski - get out of here
oot - out
pished - I am assured that this means "tired"
puir - poor
Quin - Queen
scunner - a generally unpleasant person
scuggan - a really unpleasant person
ship - sheep
sojers - soldiers
spavie - see Mudlin
Special Sheep Liniment - moonshine whisky
tae - to
Tir-far-thoinn - Land Under Wave
verra - very
waily - a cry of despair
wean - descendent
wee - small
wee chit of a girl - something very small
willna - will not
yan, tan, tethra - 1,2,3
ye - you
yer - you
yersels - yourselves

Lifespan

60 years

Average Height

6 inches

Average Weight

1/2 lb

Average Physique

Pictsies only come in two body types; very lean and muscular or very portly. FEmale pictsies are very rare. The females will start out as very lean and muscular, but after they set up a new clan they will become very corpulent for birthing huge numbers of baby pictsies.

Body Tint, Colouring and Marking

While their skin appears blue at first, they in fact are covered in blue tattoos. The tattoos cover every square inch of their bodies, including the palms of their hands and the soles of their feet. The tattoos are in their own language and include many mystical and majical symbols.