#01 - Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self (Hands Up) - Fall Out Boy

Words: 289

V/Johnny Silverhand, Val (fem-streetkid-V), Johnny Silverhand (mentioned), Angst, Song Lyrics, Inspired by Poetry, Love Letters, Love Confessions, Implied/Referenced Character Death

— tags as on AO3

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Dear future self,
I hope it's going well.
When you read this. If you read this.
If you're reading this, you've managed to turn 28.
And if not. I think 27 is a good age to die as a legend.
But we don't need to talk about "if not" because then you're not reading this.

Dear future self,
I hope it's going well.
When you read this, you have made it. You have managed to survive.
I hope when you read this that you really made it.
That you have found a solution.
That you both have found a solution.

Dear future self,
I hope it's going well.
I hope you have, we have, you both have, found a solution.
I hope it's a solution you're happy with.
I, you, we, you both have suffered enough.
I, you, we, you both deserve to be happy. You - you and him.

Dear future self,
I hope it's going well.
I hope you have found a solution not only for yourself.
I hope you have found a solution for him as well.
I hope you celebrated your, my birthday together. The 28th.
I hope you can celebrate his birthday together. How to count exactly?

Dear future self, dear future Johnny,
I hope it's going well.
I hope you have the life you deserve.
I hope you have the life you want.
I hope you are a little less stubborn and a little more honest.
I hope you are honest with each other.

Dear future self, dear future Johnny,
I hope you are honest with each other.
I hope that when you read this, you will finally be honest with each other.
And honest with yourselves.
If not: Johnny, I love you.

Val

Daily Prompt:

April 1 - song
Dear Future Self (Hands Up) - Fall Out Boy

Technical Prompt:

13. Write the prompt in the style of a love letter

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I just went with some lyrics (Dear future self, I hope it's going well) for this and not at all with the vibe of this song.

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A bit of context for this: About love, there are two quotes that I relate to Val a lot:

"Something I never say. Like I love you."

— Jessica Jones

"When love's a word you've never learned."

— Avril Lavigne

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I haven't decided on an ending for Val and this au/timeline yet. But when I wrote this, I thought of what would be at the Temperance Ending.

When Johnny finds this letter of which he knows nothing, cause Val wrote it after she took omega blockers. Or maybe it's not a letter but an email that Val timed to her birthday, October 12 (like canon).

And Johnny reads the letter and it hurts enough that Val will never read it. And then it's not just "dear future self", it's "dear future Johnny" as well.

And even if they confessed to each other about their feelings - I guess at the latest in cyberspace, when they parted, they will have done so.

But now Johnny reads those three words and realizes how long ago she wrote that. How early she was actually aware of her feelings. How much time they could have had together if they had been less stubborn and more honest. How they could have used and could have relished their last time together.

Such a great song for this prompt and so much angst now. Sorry.