Turamsom's struggle

„I don’t want to volunteer!“ shouted little Turamsom, his little green face taking on a slightly orange color as small tears were running over his cheeks. His mother slowly shook her head in disappointment. “No! Why would you want me to do this?” the boy kept going. His mother inhaled deeply, preparing to put him into his place with her loud voice. Turamsom quickly hushed, scared of the punishment he might receive for his disobedience. But nothing happened. The air left his mother’s lungs slowly as she kneeled down in front of him, her eyes had stopped radiating fury and instead looked kindly onto her boy. “Turamsom, my first-born.” she said, again in a kind voice that the young orc had only rarely heard ever since he had turned 10 years old. “What are you so scared of? Don’t you want to live through great adventures? Don’t you have any ambition to prove yourself?” Turamsom hesitated for a moment, then quietly admitted: “But… it will mean that I’ll have to go far away… I’ll have to sail to the far north… or maybe go to the high, cold mountains to protect us from these evil elves. Or… worst of all, ride through the eastern steppes to face these black riders… I’m not ready for this! And I hate horses! They stink and never do what I want! I can’t be strong there! I will make a fool of myself and bring shame to my family!” He pressed out these words avoiding his mother’s eye contact, ashamed to honestly admit his fear. Then he added, his voice had almost gone down to a whisper: “And I’ll miss you…”
His mother swallowed deeply, trying to hide how her little boy’s words moved her. Then she got ahold of herself and spoke softly: “My boy… no… my brave, strong son. It is okay to be afraid. True strength arises when one overcomes his fear and decides to keep going anyways. Think about the great Atis! Was he too afraid to stand up when it was necessary? Think about general Tares, did she let fear hold her back when an opportunity presented itself? When our founders saw the chance to seize the wall that had divided us from the land of our ancestors, they did not waver. They showed strength when we all needed it. And we all learned from this time that we can only stand if we have the strength to fight back those who would try to push us to the ground. We all work together for this goal, it doesn’t matter who you are and where you come from. All that matters is that you lend your strength to all of us. And this is the path that your father took, the path that I took and you, little Turamsom, you will lend Zeprikan your strength as well. I know that you have it! And to volunteer means to discover your strength faster than others who waste more valuable years here in the city. And in a few years you’ll return here stronger than you’ve ever been!”
“But… what if they really send me to the steppes? I won’t be able to make it… I might never return here!”
“If you volunteer, you will be in the best hands. The military will find out where your true strength lies and will use you there. You have to have trust them! Also, if you really want to go to one branch of our forces, you can say it! I did it myself, I wished to be deployed on the eastern front, and they granted it. I lend them my strength and together we lifted the feudal yoke from Kuznez after so many years!” Her whole body radiated pride as she spoke these words. “So will you, Turamsom! We all trust in you, we know that you will not bring shame to us, no you might even do greater things than we did!”
Turamsom was uneasily shifting from one foot to the other, trying to take in his mother’s words. He tried really hard to let her words convince him but there was something inside of him that still kept fighting. “But can’t I do great things here as well? Can’t I become a part of the imperial city guard or something?”
“Turamsom, you were born with the privilege to grow up here in Atisanum only because both of your parents went out and proved their use to the empire! To become an imperial guard is an honor that only the best and most powerful will receive! You are still young and have to take the chance to prove yourself now!” With these words she got up and took a small lunchbox from the table behind her and held it in front of Turamsom’s eyes. It smelled of fried pufferfish. The little orc’s mouth immediately began to water. “Now go! You’ll be late for your archery training! Think about what I said and keep trying your best! And tomorrow we’ll go to the command post and you’ll put yourself on the list!”
Turamsom heard in his mother’s tone that there was no more room for discussions. He packed the lunch box into his backpack and walked out the front door of their grand lane house onto the busy street.
His mother looked after him, a sole tear running down her cheek. “But I’ll miss you too…”