Of Dead Returned and Living Lost

I woke up this morning to a commotion outside the wagon, and Trevor was gone. When I reached for my gear to get dressed for the day, I noticed that my armor was missing. In its place, was a nicer leather gambeson that bore the crest I’ve seen on Trevor’s belongings… he must have traded armor with me, given me his new gambeson, and took his old one back for himself. I donned it, and found it surprisingly comfortable, if a bit loose. I looked around for a note, or any indication of, well… anything, really… but there was nothing. I decided that I would thank him for it when I saw him, and climbed out of the wagon.

…into an absolute, unbelievable shitshow…

Vistani were dragging away a dead horse from just inside the gate, and a strange, tattered woman was standing with the party, all huddled with Moira, around Ireena. Ireena held a letter in her hands, and was staring blankly at the pages as though she didn’t know what to do.

I could see Brynden staring daggers at the tattered woman, and it was only when I drew closer that I realized why she looked so familiar. The face that I was looking upon was Elaine’s. Elaine, who died to Mother Morgantha at the Old Bonegrinder… Elaine, who was entombed in a makeshift stone sarcophagus by Erkki… Elaine, who was DEAD. Her body and tomb were crushed under the weight of the entire windmill when the mass of crows collapsed it over top of her…

I thought I was seeing things… but no. It apparently is, indeed, Elaine – returned from the dead by the power and will of the Raven Queen. I don’t understand it. To be honest, I don’t want to understand it…

She looks like Elaine, but it is as though the spark of life, of the soul that made Elaine into the adorably awkward person she was, is gone. She speaks in complete monotone, and the timbre is gone from her voice. All inflection is gone. She is, perhaps, less shy and more direct than she ever was before – maybe death will do that to a person. I don’t know.

Frankly, I find the whole situation terrifying, as nice as it is to actually see her again. I fear that whatever dark reason the Raven Queen has for returning her to us is going to affect more than just our rebellion against Strahd.

My heart weeps for Brynden… the poor boy. He’s obviously so conflicted about the entire situation. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a family member die right in front of you, and then walk into your sleeping quarters (for that is apparently what she did) one night. It must have scared the life out of him. I’m surprised I didn’t hear a scream or shouting, or anything. … Well, maybe I’m not entirely surprised…. I did sleep quite soundly, better than any night since that first night in Vallaki, actually. Women have needs just as much as men do…

* * *

The letter that Ireena was holding was one from Ismark. He wrote her, saying to please return to the village, because he can keep her safer there than she would be out here with us. He must have received news of some of our exploits, or at least the goings-on in the area.
 
Ireena, obviously, feels an obligation to return to her brother. But, she also doesn’t want to be imprisoned within the house again. Brynden suggested that we send Ireena off with Ezmerelda to Van Richten’s tower far in the north.
 
Everyone started arguing… and no one could make up their mind as to the best course of action. Finally, it was decided in a consensus that Ireena would join Moira’s “crew”. Strahd cannot scry on Ireena herself with the ring she wears, and he doesn’t know who Moira is, at least he didn’t when we had dinner at Ravenloft, and he talked about the crazy man who crashed a boat on wheels into his carriage.
 
In exchange for Ireena, Moira sent her friend, Eerika Dagmar, along with us – saying that we needed to have a dwarf with us. She bade her to take care of the “manlings” and we were joined by this brownhaired dwarven woman, who has the dirtiest armor and clothing that I think I’ve ever seen on a living person… and she has a beard. I thought it was just a myth that dwarf women have beards, but apparently not… I do not understand their culture at all, but they do seem to make very good friends and travelling companions for the most part… at least the few that I’ve met.

* * *

Later…

We arrived at the edge of Berez. The woods immediately grew darker and more foreboding. An acrid, rotten smell permeated the air and we were trudging through disgusting, ankle deep water.

Trevor was leading the way, following a dilapidated, sorry excuse for a path that runs along the river, and supposedly to the ruins of Berez. If it was anyone other than Trevor, I would have been tempted to refuse to continue, I could almost feel the leeches trying to attach to my skin through my boots.

As we walked deeper into the forest, it felt like the bushes and undergrowth were all looking at us. Insects were swarming everywhere. I felt like my skin was crawling with their disgusting little bodies.

Brynden and Elaine were talking to each other, and suddenly, a root tentacle burst out of the water and grabbed Brynden, jerking him under the murky surface. Trevor jumped to help drag him out of the water, and another ten or so roots burst out of the water surrounding us.

I discovered how Eerika fights – and her worn, spiked armor makes much more sense now. She threw herself onto a vine and grappled it, grinding it against the spikes of her armor.

I did the only thing that I could think of at the moment. I cast Shatter and damaged two of the roots, causing them to thrash around madly.

Combat ensued in earnest then. Brynden levitated himself up in the air – I wish I could do that, and I heard the tolling of Father Donavich’s bell once more. A low pained roar rumbled through the air, and my bones. It was coming from the water right behind me. I called out to the rest of the party, and instantly, three tentacles twisted and wrapped around me. I couldn’t get away no matter how hard I tried.

The tentacles started pulling me into a massive, gaping mouth. It bit down on my legs, and I screamed for Trevor. Now that I am thinking about it, I don’t know why I screamed for Trevor – he was too far away to help me… I should have called for Oswald or Brynden, or even Elaine – someone who would have been able to help me from a distance… but no matter, I don’t think anyone noticed…

Eerika dove in beside me, headfirst down its maw. She thrashed around and I could feel the creature’s blood spraying the creature.

The rest of the party began attacking the maw holding me in earnest, Trevor hacking at the roots holding me, cutting one in half with the scimitar he took from Kiril.

A man came barreling over from the edge of the woods, wearing aged and damaged armor and wielding two swords. He sheathed his swords and tried to pull me out. It wasn’t doing any good – he wasn’t strong enough.

I did the only thing that my panic stricken mind could think of… I cursed it. I felt it weaken around me and then Oswald plunged his flaming sword into its flesh, and I felt the root tentacles slacken around me.

Trevor helped me scramble free. I just sat there. Everyone turned to the newcomer and began questioning him, but I was unable to focus. I just sat there, staring at the monster that had almost been my death.

The newcomer introduced himself as Adrastos, and he immediately got on Oswald’s wrong side. I’ve never seen Oswald that angry before… it was only when I listened to what they were saying, and looked closer at the symbol hanging around Adrastos’ neck that I made the connection – Adrastos was wearing a broken, inverted symbol of the same god that adorned all of Oswald’s livery.

Oswald even told him “Hello. Nice meeting you. Fuck off.”

I asked Adrastos why he was there. He said that he was there to kill Strahd. But he refused to say who sent him. He’s one of the rudest, most unpleasant people that I’ve met… and frankly, he needs to get his head on straight if he expects us to have any trust for him when he won’t tell us anything about himself or how he got there, or who sent him.

Elaine started walking ahead. I heard her monotone voice call back that a wendigo was right up ahead.

Oh, shit… could this day get any worse?

I followed close behind Trevor, and he pointed out the wendigo – far bigger even than the one that we killed and rescued the Vistani girls from.

The wendigo began backing up, and we cautiously followed it into the outer gates of Berez. Finally, it moved into the courtyard and stood up onto its hind legs. It held open its arms as though in a demonstration of something, and I saw a freshly flayed and crucified body of a dwarf, a telltale piece of a red mohawk still remaining on its head. Erkki.

A collective gasp of horror went up, and Elaine cast a fireball at the wendigo. Eerika charged in and grappled it. The wendigo reached behind itself and ripped Erkki’s body off of the rack… I could hear the wet sounds of flesh ripping… he launched Erkki’s body at Brynden, burying him under the bloody corpse of our friend.

More wendigos appeared, smaller, but no less dangerous. Everything turned into a clusterfuck then… and it was made worse when I saw Erkki’s body begin to convulse.

A wendigo was upon Elaine and I, so I grabbed ahold of her and cast dimension door to move us to the other side of the battlefield. As soon as we left, I looked back and saw the wendigo we had just escaped, rush at Trevor and injure him badly. Erkki’s corpse stood up and rushed Trevor, grabbing onto him and trying to bite into his neck.

Finally, the wendigos were mostly defeated… but Brynden and Trevor were seriously hurt. Brynden was the closer of the two, so I ran to him and healed him. Brynden looked pointedly at my new armor as I leaned over him, “Nice armor… even if it is a little big…”

We managed to kill all of the wendigos and Trevor finally cut down Erkki’s body again.

There was no air of celebration after that fight, even though we managed to survive, and kill several wendigos… I just stood there, in shock… staring at Erkki’s mangled body. We were so close… and it all proved useless.

I asked the others what they do for their dead in Faerun. Brynden turned to Eerika, being the only other dwarf around. She said that he should be buried in stone. So, Oswald loaded his body up on his warhorse.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I just sat on the ground and cried.

We moved into the gatehouse nearby, and Eerika barricaded a shelter for us in the lower level. It reminded me of the time when Erkki barricaded the broken cart for us. It was the only place that looked like it might be remotely safer.

Eerika’s shelter wasn’t big, but it was big enough to accommodate all of us closely. We made ourselves as comfortable as we could, and Trevor said that he could sense a vampire approaching about a mile away. He estimated that it would arrive within a few hours.

I curled up against the wall, tucked behind Trevor and Oswald, and tried to get some sleep… or at least as close to a semblance as my mind would allow… it didn’t work…

I asked Adrastos why he was here. He said that he wants Strahd’s head, for a personal matter. I do not like that guy… he eventually admitted that he was sent by Baba Lysaga. She wants Strahd dead, apparently. He insisted that the only agreement he made with her was that he would bring her Strahd’s head and then she would give him something in return. But he wouldn’t tell us anything else. The bastard…

The vampire that Trevor sensed earlier arrived. It was the creepy, perverted one that was following Erkki in Castle Ravenloft. He asked us for Erkki’s body. He claimed that something so beautiful should be buried in the mountains… I actually believed him. I think he must, for some weird, insane reason, actually care about Erkki. We agreed to let him take the body, as he was the most likely to be able to bury him properly.

We sat around for a while after that talking… Brynden wants to find out more about the Fane of the Swamp. Stories say that Berez was built on a site of power, along a leyline. I told them this, and that the center of the city’s government would probably be situated over the point where the magic was strongest. We decided to investigate that in the morning, and I curled up behind Trevor and Oswald once again, finally able to get some sleep…

* * *

Later…
 
I should probably be making this its own entry… but I lack the mental fortitude right now… my world is crumbling… everything I thought I knew about myself… about my family… apparently is all a lie… I fear I am a monster… or I will soon become one… fuck.
 
Morning came. Elaine said there was an aura of necromancy coming from directly outside the gatehouse. We went to investigate.
 
A hedge druid was standing there. He wore a wendigo skull upon his head as though it were a crown. I could see the bugs nesting in his mossy clothing.
 
Oswald asked him if he killed a dwarf. The druid looked at him briefly and denied it. Then, he looked straight at me and smiled, saying “Ah, she has come…”
 
When we questioned him about how he knows me, he replied in his raspy, slimy voice “Grandmother said you would come. All of her grandchildren come eventually. All those who are, and all those who were supposed to be her grandchildren.”
 
When I demanded to know what he was talking about, he elaborated… asking me if I ever wondered why the Vistani wagons came and took my brother and I… “He was to be sacrificed and you were to be given away, until the vampires came to your wagon… and spoiled Grandmother’s plan… it is good that you have come back… come my dear, come with me… come and meet Grandmother…”
 
Brynden quietly said that it all makes sense now. I asked how – for none of this was making sense to me… He asked why Strahd would want me dead unless I was related to Lysaga.
 
I fail to see why Strahd would want me dead. Brynden said that when Rahadin came and burned my entire village, it was because he was looking for me… for me and my brother…
The druid again bade me to go with him to meet this “grandmother”, because she wishes to see me. I told him to give me a name and he said that he would “give me far more than that…”

* * *

I found myself standing in a hut… I looked around and could see the gatehouse that we were staying at less than a mile away. The hut felt like it was rocking back and forth. A table was set and laden with food. Several beautiful young women were seated at the table, welcoming me as their “sister”. And commenting that I’d finally arrived.

I heard an old woman’s voice welcome me. I asked why I was there, and the door opened. An old woman, seated on a floating dragon skull, comes into the room and welcomes me, saying how “they all come to me eventually. Stay with Grandmother…”
 
I asked what she meant and she gestured at the other young women. She said that destiny is the reason why they all come to her.
 
She told me that my parents gave me to her. A vision entered my mind…
 
I saw my parents meeting with Baba Lysaga in the dead of night. They were making a blood pact… exchanging my brother and I for their own survival.
 
The worst part is that I remember the scar on my mother’s hand… I know what I saw must be true, because I never knew how she got her scar, and she wouldn’t tell me anything about it…
 
I told Baba Lysaga no, and she insisted that I would come to her… because she has been nothing but honest with me…

* * *
 
I woke up, Trevor holding me up. “Are you alright?” he asked, concerned.
 
I shook my head.
 
The druid bade me again to come with me… I refused. I told him that I needed to think about it.
 
“By all means…” he said, and began walking away. He walked to the river’s edge, and a group of corpses floated to the surface and formed a raft, that he climbed upon and began floating down the river…
 
The party began mumbling. Brynden asked me what I wanted them to do. Trevor asked me what happened.
 
I told them that Baba Lysaga took me. Trevor insisted that I was right there the whole time. Brynden is the one who mentioned astral projection, or something like that. I don’t even know. I told them that she called me her granddaughter… then I began to cry and couldn’t stop. It was embarrassing, but frankly, I don’t care right now.
 
I asked to talk to Oswald, Trevor and Brynden in private. Elaine came along, but I didn’t tell her no. We went back into the gatehouse, and I told them everything.
 
Elaine tried to help. But she just made me feel worse… pointing out that I now know my past… I finally told her to stop.
 
Brynden told me that I’m still me, and asked what I want to do. Talk to her?
 
Of course I don’t want to talk to her! I already talked to her! I don’t want to have anything to do with her!
 
Oswald told me that it is up to me. He compared Lysaga to Izek Strazni… he said just like I told Strazni that I make my own decisions, then Lysaga is the same. I tried to explain that she isn’t… she gets inside my head – something that Strazni could never do (at least to my knowledge).
 
Oswald also said that I “live in a kingdom ruled by some creepy vampire who can look at anyone he wants. There was a guy who made dolls, who spied on children…” and that this isn’t the weirdest thing I have ever dealt with.
 
Trevor agreed with him. Oswald then told me that “Where you come from doesn’t change anything about you… it’s who you are that’s important.”
 
Oswald and Brynden reminded me that I have an interest in the world outside of Barovia, and that there is much more to see, and much more to life than what this valley has shown me so far.
 
Brynden then started talking about how he thinks we’re closer to defeating Strahd than ever, and all that. I honestly couldn’t even pay much actual attention to what he was saying at that point.
 
Oswald said that he doesn’t think that Lysaga would force me… something about her being a former wetnurse and actually caring about those she considers to be her wards, or something like that.
 
The whole time, I was waiting for Trevor to say something. I don’t know why, but I wanted him to say something. When he finally did speak, it was just to say that he’s not good with words but I know how he feels and he will support my decision in any way that he can.
 
I told them that she was close… that I could see them all standing there, and Trevor holding me up, from the windows of her hut… she is right in the woods out there, and I fear that she is going to chase me. I pointed it out and Trevor said that whatever is in the woods is moving this way slowly.
 
Brynden mentioned something about a devious bloodline at work… said that there is something called a tiefling, and it would explain why I am the way that I am… apparently I can’t just be charismatic and beautiful in my own right… it has something to do with demonic blood in his mind. I don’t know…
 
We went down to join the others… well, they did. I stayed in here for a few minutes to write this down. I will be useless to the party until I at least have this written down and somewhat out of the recesses of my mind.
 
I feel like my life, my very identity is crumbling down around me. Everything I knew, everything I believed…
 
A small part of me wishes that I would wake up in my room at the Blood of the Vine and realize that this has all been a dream…
 
But then, I wouldn’t actually have these friends... I wouldn’t have had the good times travelling across the valley…
 
Fuck.