As the saying goes: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire...

Oh, where to begin? So much has happened in the past couple of days that I am only now just beginning to even be able to put anything into words. And for me, of all people, to be struck wordless… it has been a crazy couple of days.
 
The early morning when Strahd visited Elaine on her watch was an appropriate setting of the stage for the rest of these events…
 
Elaine was completely emotionless as she explained to us what it was that Strahd wanted - apparently, she agreed to talk to Ireena and try to get her to go to Strahd. On one hand, I can understand why she would agree to his deal, as he promised to return Brynden to her in exchange… but I don’t think she understands the gravity of what she has just agreed to… she is now bound to do as he said - and I am terrified of what the consequences will be for all of us if she does not…
 
As we drew closer to the Vistani camp, Trevor or Oswald must have heard something because Trevor started running and Oswald took off at a full gallop toward the gate. I stayed as close behind Trevor as I could, and when we approached the gate, I could hear raised voices arguing.
 
I was going to run into the camp and try to mitigate the situation, but Trevor put his arm out and pushed me behind him. Something about the look on his face told me that something was terribly wrong, and so I just did what he wanted without questioning him. Standing behind Trevor, I paid a bit more attention to the voices, and felt a knot of dread forming in the pit of my stomach… I never forget a voice… and Izek Strazni’s voice is one that has been burned into my mind for the rest of my life.
 
Strazni was demanding to know my location. Peeking around Trevor, I was able to see Vistani bodies laying on the ground. This is not what I wanted… this is never what I would have wanted…
 
Trevor leaned his head down and whispered to me what was going on… Strazni was escalating, so I stepped out from behind Trevor and called to him.
 
As soon as I stepped into view, he froze. I felt like a deer caught in the crazed eyes of a wolf. He started walking towards me, and a couple of the Vistani guards moved to intercept him. I held up my hands in a non threatening manner and pleaded with all of them to stop. I told Strazni that I want to talk to him. I asked him to at least sit… he was scaring me, and having to look up at him wasn’t helping me feel any less threatened. I could almost feel the rest of the party tensing, fully prepared to attack him at a moment’s notice.
 
As much as it doesn’t make any sense… I don’t want him to die. He is actually my brother by blood, and if there is a chance that I could actually have a relationship with a family that I never thought I had, I don’t want to ruin it.
 
I don’t know what set him off, but suddenly he grabbed my arm and demanded that I would be coming with him. I tried to shake him off, but his grip is insane…
 
Oswald cast a spell then, to calm everyone’s emotions, and it seemed to take the edge off of Strazni enough to make him at least able to talk to us.
 
I healed him a little bit, trying to ease some of the pain of his burns… hoping that it would take the edge off of him a bit. I asked him what he remembers about our childhood, before Rahadin burned our village… he recounted everything that I remember, and some things that I don’t, but sound like they must be true.
 
Strazni insisted that he was going to take me to a grotto on the shores of Lake Zarovich that he claims that we used to go to as children. I have no memory of the place and don’t understand how we would have gone to the grotto together as children… I was so young when Rahadin destroyed my village, that I don’t understand why our parents would have let us go to the shores of Lake Zarovich alone… but then again, I would have never believed that my parents would have traded me and my brother to Baba Lysaga for their safety.
 
Families are supposed to take care of each other - at least that’s what I think they should do. The Vistani take care of each other… Elaine (when she was actually Elaine) and Brynden, as much as they argued, still took care of each other…
 
Strazni said that he was going to take me through the city of Vallaki and go to this grotto. Apparently there is a fane under Lake Zarovich that hasn’t had its power sapped at all by Strahd or Lysaga. I don’t know how true this is, but I also can’t help but wonder why… if this fane is strong enough that neither Strahd nor Baba Lysaga have managed to subjugate it… then why would we be going closer to it… we should stay as far away from Lake Zarovich and this fane as we possibly can.

I asked him if there was no other way to get to this grotto, why not just go around Vallaki… but he just looked at me like I was an idiot child – there is a cliff face backing up to Vallaki, yes, but there has to be another way…

I told Strazni that I wasn’t going to go with him alone. He ignored me, except to say that he doesn’t care what the others do, but that I was coming with him whether I wanted to or not…
 
I knew that the party wouldn’t let him just take me away against my wishes, but I didn’t want anyone else to die…
 
Fortunately, Trevor finally decided to speak up. He said that he doesn’t understand why we don’t just find a boat and take it upstream. Strazni said that we don’t have a boat. But Trevor just gave him a look and Strazni said that there are boats at the dock in Vallaki.
 
I poured all of my desperation into one look and one word… I simply said “please.”
 
I think it must have gotten through to Strazni, because he said “You’re right. Wait here.” Then, he turned and left, walking in the direction of Vallaki.
 
As soon as he was out of earshot, there was an audible sigh of relief. I felt like I was wound so tight with the tension of impending doom, that I could just now draw a breath.
 
Everyone began talking at once. We debated about what we should do… stay and wait for Strazni to return, or leave immediately and try to get as far away from him as possible.
 
We spent the evening talking about our best course of action.
 
Trevor didn’t want to wait. I didn’t want to stay either, but I also didn’t want to leave and have Strazni tracking us and angry enough to kill everyone. He is already unstable enough that I feared he would just throw me over his shoulder and kill anyone who tried to stop him.
 
I started thinking back on all of the interactions we've had with Strazni in the
past... something about our encounter in Vallaki was standing out as odd.(well... odder than normal).
 
I turned to Trevor and asked him what exactly had transpired between him, Brynden and Izek Strazni when they met with him in Vallaki. He told me that they talked, which I knew.
 
But Trevor shifted uncomfortably... which led me to believe that my suspicions were correct... something happened that they hadn't told me..
 
I asked him exactly what he and Brynden had said to Strazni. He said they promised to keep me safe, but I could tell that he was still hiding something.
 
Finally, Trevor caved under my persistence. He admitted that they told Strazni that I had slept with the hunter, Szoldazar. That must have something to do with why I hadn't seen either of the hunters since the night we defeated Rahadin... they probably skipped town...
 
A horrible thought came to me then.. if Strazni had a bad reaction to my night with the hunter, and he has a delusional obsession with trying to keep me "safe", and stopping anyone (namely Strahd and Lysaga) from "taking" me... what would he do to Trevor?
 
Oh gods... Trevor's family crest is on my armor- and on his own tunic... I hope that Strazni was too distracted and angry to notice. But then again...
if he had, I think we would all know by now.
 
I made sure to sleep in my own tent last night. Even though I would have dearly loved the company, I was terrified of what Strazni would do should he return in the night and find Trevor in my tent... Never before in my life have I let another's opinions so sway me when it comes to what (or whom) I choose to do in my own bed... But then again... never before have I had a giant, mentally unstable, demon-armed and totally terrifying man claiming to be my brother and obsessed with trying to protect me from everything in my life... I think I'm being fairly rational - even though
I'm sure some of the others may disagree…
 
Oswald called to me from outside my tent before I fell asleep. He asked if I was decent (so adorable) and then asked if he could come in. I bade him to enter and he came in with a very serious expression on his face. He asked me about why I had asked Trevor to kill me. I think I forgot to mention earlier that that is out in the open now… I was trying to keep it a private conversation, but after the whole Strazni situation, it came up…
 
I explained to him that I don’t want to become a hag. That in my viewpoint, there are fates far worse than death… Oswald promised me that he wouldn’t let it come to that… but that if I wished it, and I were to be taken by Baba Lysaga, he would kill me…
 
I had the feeling that he may have been hurt that I didn’t talk to him about any of my concerns, so I explained to him why I had asked Trevor specifically…
 
I asked Trevor because he is a monster hunter, and I figured that, as such, he would be the one most able to recognize the signs of me turning into a monster before it is too late. And, I know that with how important forgiveness and redemption is important to Oswald, I didn’t want to ask him to make the call that I had gone too far.
 
Oswald seemed to understand, more than I thought he would have, actually… he again promised that he would ensure that my wishes were carried out. If I am taken by Baba Lysaga, he will kill me.
 
When I met his gaze, I could feel tears beginning to burn behind my eyes and threaten to fall… I told him that I don’t want to die. As much as there are fates worse than death - I really don’t want to die…
 
I need to sleep. I don’t know how long it will take to come, or if it will… but I need sleep… especially if I’m going to be able to maneuver my way around the party and my “brother” tomorrow…
 
Later…
 
Oh fuck. Oh fuck…
 
Let me start off by saying that we are not in the Vistani camp anymore… we left it as quickly as we possibly could… fuck…
 
The positive out of this entire situation is that we now have Brynden and Eerika back with us… this morning when we woke up, Brynden and Eerika were on the outskirts of the Vistani camp… at first I thought that they were an illusion, but it was indeed our lost friends…
 
Brynden was wearing some horrible ragged robes, covered in the symbolism of the druids who serve Baba Lysaga. Eerika looked a bit worse for wear, but was altogether the grimy, dirty, hairy dwarf that joined us when we left for Berez those days ago.
 
After the initial greetings, we discovered that Brynden had gotten away because he made a deal with Baba Lysaga. He actually agreed to bring her Strahd’s head, and myself, in three weeks’ time… and he bears her rune on his palm to ensure that he complies with his end of the bargain.
 
He told Adrastos that Lysaga was playing him for a fool, because she cannot give him that which he is seeking. He got all volatile and bitchy, and I finally got him to tell us a bit of his story, by calling him out on having lost a lover. He looked at me like I was some kind of mind reader, but honestly, I’ve seen that empty, desperate look far too often in my life… the deep pain of loss hidden behind a wall of anger and hatred.
 
Brynden insists that he is intending on playing Lysaga false, but I don’t think he understands the power of the pact that he made. Elaine examined it and told him that the rune would cause him excruciating pain and poison him if he didn’t hold up his part of the bargain. She thinks that if he cuts off his hand, the effects will be disconnected from him…
 
I told the others that I worried what Strazni would do when he arrived to find Brynden here, and with the mark of Baba Lysaga on his hand… and that I also worried that he would freak out and drag me away, killing anyone around. I didn’t want anymore of the Vistani to die on my account, so we agreed to ask the Vistani to leave for Tser Pools. We figured that they would be at least somewhat safe there.
 
Fortunately, the Vistani were very receptive to our plea, and set out almost immediately towards Madam Eva’s camp at the Tser Pools. They were kind enough to leave the ring of wagons so the encampment didn’t look completely broken down. It was quieter, obviously, but I hoped that Strazni would just figure that they were scared of him and hiding – much like most people probably do when he approaches.
 
Oswald offered to cast his truth aura spell when Strazni comes back, to see if he is telling the truth about wanting to protect me. I didn’t think it would actually work… and I explained my reasoning…
 
The truth is relative to different people… and so whatever Strazni would say, in his delusional state of mind, would be true for him – whether it was actually accurate or not.
 
I used the example of the sky being gray… it is a fact. It is the truth. But, if I were one of those people afflicted with the illness where they cannot see in color, and only see shades of gray (which is one of the worst afflictions I can imagine), it would be just as true that the sky is gray – even if it wasn’t and was in fact, green or blue or red or pink, or some other random color… truth is individual to a person… so what one person views as their truth will be the truth, at least in terms of a truth seeking spell. Or, at least that’s how I think of it…
 
I might have used a poor example, judging by the look of confusion on Oswald’s face, but it was the best example I could think of… but it was the best I could come up with at the time. And I think I managed to get my point across.
 
The valley went completely silent. Eerily silent.
 
We all moved into the most defensible position we could in the ring of wagons the Vistani were kind enough to leave behind. This is it. I remembered thinking to myself. I had a dread feeling that I wasn’t going to be able to talk Strazni around to my way of thinking, and that there was going to be a fight. And, if there was going to be a fight, I feared to even guess at which of my friends I was going to lose this time… possibly even all of them.
 
My worst fears were nothing compared to what greeted us. No one was approaching from Vallaki. The road was empty.
 
A portal opened up in our midst, and the Devil himself stepped out. He threw a head at our feet… the severed head of Izek Strazni.
 
I just stared in disbelief at the head for a moment, before everything went to shit.
 
Elaine and a couple of the others were talking back and forth with Strahd. He was pissed that Ireena wasn’t here. Apparently, Elaine didn’t hold up her end of the bargain in his eyes, and the Devil had come for his due.
 
It broke out into a fight… Trevor kept taunting Strahd, and I desperately wished that he would stop. I didn’t want his head to roll at our feet…
 
The portal shimmered again, and an armored Kasimir stepped through. He wore Rahadin’s armor. He called out to Strahd, drawing his attention as he drew his hand out from under his cloak. In his hand, he held Rahadin’s severed head, gasping for air and pulsing with necromantic energy. Kasimir taunted that his scrying isn’t as foolproof as he thinks, and he threw Rahadin’s head. It rolled to a stop at the Devil’s feet.
 
Strahd let out a roar of rage, shock, and what seemed like genuine pain and grief. Maybe he actually cared for Rahadin? No matter… we were in deep shit now…
 
Everything moved so fast. Eerika rushed Strahd and actually managed to grapple him long enough for me to outline him in the flames of faerie fire. Then everything was a blur. I heard Adrastos scream in pain, and then Strahd was all I could see.
 
I know he must have put a charm on me, but I couldn’t break it… I found myself in a haze, thinking that we were wrong to be trying to fight him… when he materialized in front of me, my heart raced and I thought that he was the most attractive being I’d ever seen in my life. He wrapped an arm around me and I remember turning my head aside to give him access to my neck. I couldn’t help it. Now, thinking back, I’m horrified. But at the time, I couldn’t imagine doing anything but giving him whatever he wanted… he sunk his fangs into my neck and it HURT. I think the pain helped to snap me out of the influence of his charm… that, or it might have been Trevor laying into him with his whip…
 
Whatever the reason, I was glad when I regained my own mind. I have rarely felt more useless then those few minutes…
 
Strahd pulled out a whip of his own, glowing with a black energy, and hit Trevor across the face. I didn’t have time to even see how bad it was, because Trevor kept his face turned away from mine as he focused solely on Strahd.
 
I don’t remember much of the rest of the fight. It didn’t last long. Strahd vanished into mist and was gone.
 
Piddlewink ran up to Oswald, reaching up his fleshy hands for Oswald to pick him up. I guess he must have followed Kasimir through the portal… Oswald seemed happy to see him and promptly picked him up.
 
Kasimir shouted at us all to follow him, and he took off running in the direction of Krezk. Adrastos was still doubled over in pain… I don’t know what Strahd cast on him, but it was bad. Oswald rode up and threw him over Yesper’s back, before following Kasimir. I grabbed Strazni’s head and we all ran as fast as we could to keep up. I kept glancing over at Trevor. I couldn’t see the extent of his injuries, but they looked bad.
 
I don’t know how long we ran for… Kasimir ran into the mists, and the runes in his armor began to glow – and the mists around him parted. He was too fast. I ran until I didn’t think my legs would be able to carry me another step. And then I ran some more…
 
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity… Kasimir stopped and said we would camp for the night. Adrastos was writhing and screaming in pain. Nothing anyone did seemed to help him… Oswald couldn’t find any injuries, but he was racked with pain such as one should have near death. I asked Oswald if he could just knock him out as a mercy and let Adrastos sleep off the effects (Kasimir said something about eight hours of pain from the spell, or something like that).
 
Kasimir must have grown tired of him, because he walked up and started cutting Adrastos until he was fairly injured – then Oswald knocked him out.
 
I wasn’t paying that much attention to what was happening in that side of the camp, because I was trying to see to Trevor’s face. It needed stitches, and I did my best to make them as small and neat as possible. He had a horrible gash down the side of his face, bisecting his lip. I’m just glad that the blow had missed his eye. I tried to take the pain away with a healing spell, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I don’t know what he’s thinking… It is going to scar, yes… but I think I managed to stitch it in such a way that it will be minimized. I know it has to bother him. I wish there was something I could say that would make him feel better…
 
Brynden was being an ass. I don’t know why the boy doesn’t just lay off. He would be upset if his face had been scarred… and at least, for Trevor, I think as he gets used to it… it might actually suit him.
 
If not, and if it continues to bother him… I hope we can find a healer more talented than I, who will be able to help him.
 
I approached where I had laid Strazni’s head then. I needed to know what happened, so I cast Speak with Dead. I asked him what happened. He told me that he had been on the docks, fetching a boat, when he was killed. A black blade appeared silently out of nowhere, and then he was dead. He didn’t see his assailant. He hadn’t even seen the attack coming… I then asked him a couple more things that I honestly don’t even care about anymore. Then, I asked him if he is at peace. When he emphatically denied it. I asked what I could do for him. “Kill Strahd.” Those were the last words my brother ever spoke to me, even in death.
 
I buried his head at the edge of our camp. I hope that I will be able to bring him some kind of peace… peace that he never knew in this life…
 
I went back to others then, but didn’t really join in on their conversation. Kasimir had some interesting things to say, but my mind was elsewhere… on the brother that I never really knew, and the dangers facing all of us now. Brynden and his deal with Baba Lysaga – I fear that he will not be able to back out, and if he tries… I fear the price that she will extract from him… Trevor and his now-scarred face… I hope he doesn’t shut me everyone out now out of some misplaced embarrassment.
 
One thing that is comforting, is that Kasimir said that I won’t turn into a vampire from his bite… apparently, I would need to drink his foul blood in order to be turned. The very thought of that turns my stomach. But then again, I never would have thought that I would willingly and fearlessly bare my neck to the Devil either…
 
I look around as I write this. Everyone seems to be lost in their own thoughts and troubles… I’m going to try to sleep, but I fear dreams it might bring… I didn’t think that Strazni’s death would have affected me this badly… I guess it is the misplaced hope and idealism of what might have been. I have to remind myself of what reality was and is…
 
I hope the morning will bring a better day. But right now, I just want to be held...