Decision

I thought it would be easier to come to a decision by nightfall. I gave myself a full day of thought and enough hours for the Dipill to wear off. I meditate on my thoughts. Or try to at least. Though I am loathe to admit it, there is a part of me that still is fond of him.
 
Him. A wave of hatred washes over me, and I fall flat onto the grass. I roll over, placing a hand over my eyes blocking the stars above me. It’s simple. It’s a do it or don’t do it situation. If I don’t do it now, I can always do it at a later time. There’s no time limitation here. No impending deadline. I can put it off indefinitely.
 
It.
 
It.
 
It.
 
A breeze blows from the west, with it bringing the scent of that village. An omen then?
 
I take out my Holo messenger and record a short sentence. “You will see me again.” I send it to Heder. I don’t bother encrypting it. I don’t bother with an explanation either. Such was our professional relationship. I make no mention of his other messages; listening to them was embarrassment enough. This task is over much too soon. The true reason why I am outside begins to gnaw at my mind anew.
 
Another gust from the west. I take a few moments to linger on some cherished memories, but I dare not dally in them. That time is over and there is nothing left for me but to act. Regardless of my brave front, it takes me a few attempts to get the wording right. To get the words as neutral and efficient as possible. I read it many times over. Then I make sure I’m sending it on the correct channel. I even take the trouble to encrypt it. With a final revision I send the message to Imperial Command.
 
On the planet Spintr, west of the city of Reles and south of the ruins lies a village by a lake. A young farmer named Maris lives there. He is force sensitive.
 
He will be able to leave this planet. He will see the universe, see planets and places his mind cannot imagine. Soon his podunk town (and family) will be a distant memory. A blip like farthest stars. He will find solace in the force. He will find power.
 
I light my saber. It burns the night away in a glow of red. I spark my cigarra on the beam and snap the switch off. Taking a deep drag I look to the west. If I squint I can see the distant lights of a village there.
 
I hope none of the smoke gets into house Pubblub. I know Hethan hates the smell and I wonder if Wonks lungs are fully healed. I smoke the rest of the Cigarra outside, never minding the cold air. I am not a monster after all.