Gifted Kid Syndrome

My subconscious often presents me with the question "Are you proud of what you've done? Is there anything you're the most proud of?" And no matter how long I ponder this query, no matter how deep I dig or the lengths of the ocean of my mind that I swim, I always come back empty handed. Quite honestly, I don't have a single thing to show for my life. I'm not proud of anything.
 
Many would beg to differ. My people back home would surely rage and riot if they knew I thought such a thing to be true. I couldn't *possibly* say that! Certainly not given who I am and what I've done. I have *so much*.....don't I? Ah, but there's the catch. Everything I have, everything I can do, everything I am has been given to me, imbued in me since birth. I haven't earned a single ounce of the potential and achievements I carry. What are accolades and power when it's not even your own? Where is the point when everyone looks through you, not at you? Why try when you are just a number, simply there to assure the world keeps spinning for everyone else for another day, decade, century?
 
For once, I would love the chance to earn something and call it mine. I want to pour my soul into something; mix my blood, sweat, and tears together in some sort of sort of horrific concoction of bodily fluids but be able to come out the other side with something tangible, something real. Something to prove that I existed, that I lived and loved and *felt* and took control of this abhorrent, cursed life of mine that just keeps....slipping.....slipping away...
 
If they all knew why I was even here...
 
No, I can't be proud of anything. Pride is something reserved for the diligent and the truthful, not hollow souls playing at god.