A Journal Entry Dated Sept 18th, 813

Dear journal,
 
You’ve been glaring at me from your new spot in my desk. Every time I open this drawer for my hair pins, I see you. Stop making me feel so guilty. I have nothing to say.
 
Nicholas did mention how much I’ve been slacking on my chaperoning duties as Elinor’s companion, so I’ve really taken that to heart these past few days. Attached at the hip, as they say. Just a couple of girlies, out on the town, visiting the Blumetts, working on things in Elinor’s room. She just said she might enjoy a bit of space while she worked on a “particularly complex business proposal,” so I graciously offered to step out for a few minutes. She’s so quiet in there. Must be a tough business proposal.
 
While I’m waiting, I’ve tidied, mended my favorite stockings, practiced some fencing forms. I keep searching for any specks or stains on Elinor’s clothes to wash out, but Emma continues to plague me by being perfect. Nothing in Elinor’s closet is out of place. Not a shoe to be shined. It’s obnoxious. Doesn’t Emma know I need something to do?
 
Berig is busy, too. Dodgy old dwarf. I’ll have to meet up with him at the Pet Parade. I hope he likes the dress I’ve bought for it.
 
I’ve passed Dominic in the hall a few times. I definitely don’t have anything to say about him. I don’t even know what to say to him. I was thinking I would go all in, ready to try out this whole courtship thing, but… apparently he started pursuing Lady Lily Blumett. He said that when he announced our kiss to the whole family, he took my standoffishness as rejection. But I thought I was just being my normal, reserved self. Why does it feel like I’m the one being rejected?
 
I’m upset with this magical patron of mine, too. How like the goddesses, to claim to be near me always, but then leave me alone in my worst moments. Sending all kinds of horrific ghosts my way, but keeping my parents from me until just recently. I mean, I did finally get to speak with my mom, and meet my dad… I didn’t realize how much he would look like me. I also didn’t realize how desperately I needed —
 
Nevermind just heard El’s door open, Duty calls!