A Journal Entry Dated Sept 13, 813

Dear Journal,
 
Where do I begin with this wild, crazy day?
 
This morning, Nicholas evidently heard from Berig about a friend in peril at the Divine Estate. I’ve learned that Nicholas becomes pretty single-minded in dangerous situations, something that certainly came in handy when we faced the kelpie. I… think it came in handy today? I’m not entirely sure what all even happened.
 
We walked into those giant gaudy churches, with the stained glass windows and vaulted ceilings that just make me think of money (money that could have gone towards feeding hungry stomachs). We spoke with the High Priestess of Menel, of all people. She extended an invitation to Elinor and I (grouping me in with Elinor?? What a compliment!) to join their creepy group of devotees, or whatever. Conversation happened, blah blah blah. The important thing is that she led us to Nicholas’s friend Fitz, who is living in the temple of Balan as a new acolyte.
 
Nicholas sniffed him out, and in the process he apparently smelled something fishy. I asked one of the priests to tell me more about Fitz’s apparent new infatuation, a faction of worshippers called Balan’s Grief. Dominic joined me, and the priest took advantage of poor Dominic’s goodness, using his faith to charm or possess him somehow. I don’t really understand all this magic stuff, but something was off with him… and then he attacked me.
 
It was horrible. My most trusted friend, bent to the will of the goddesses or their dark followers or whomever, forcing him to break me. He was deadly, getting in several hits before I could even speak. I woke up who knows how much later, tied in a torture chamber of some kind, and heard Dominic in the next room. Thanks to one of the many daggers I always hide on my person, I cut myself free and was able to get Dominic out, locking a pursuer in my room along the way. We took out a few more pursuers, or acolytes, or guards or whatever they were — I
didn’t exactly stop to ask questions. I was just thinking about getting Dominic out of that horrible place, where I can be more sure they won’t have any sway over him.
 
I got on the whispering stones and told Elinor of our safety. I’m glad I did, because from the sounds of it, she was then able to have a nice time with Lady Dahlia. I don’t worry about Elinor the way I worry about the others, except I think when it comes to Dahlia. The Lady Blumett is… fine, I’m sure. Still hard not to be suspicious of her. But if Elinor approves of her, I’ll try my best to do the same.
 
Some other craziness happened. Elinor and Nicholas set up a meeting time to save Fitz in the morning. I argued with Dominic about several things, which shows me he’s back to himself again, I think. He and I visited my old orphanage, stole some of the old hag’s shit and a couple of kids. Dropped ‘em off with Berig (the children — I kept the jewelry). Had dinner. Went to rescue Dom’s friend Gregor, who we also dropped off with Berig. Made Davinor set some fires in the military barracks. Got nowhere on the whole werewolf investigation.
 
At one point today, I was looking at Dominic after it all happened. I couldn’t —still can’t— shake the memory of his expression while he beat me unconscious — his eyes glazed over, detached, seeing right through me (my hand is shaking as I’m writing this, just thinking about it). I blinked, and saw the regular, real Dominic in front of me: expressive, concerned, a little glint in his eye I’ve come to grow fond of. And a panic set in, a kind of terror at the thought of losing him to that damned goddess again. The man drives me insane, but… he has always had my back. He would never hurt me. He is supposed to be safe. And I realized today how much I rely on him, how much I take him for granted. I thought, What if he turns again and I never got the chance to tell him how important he is to me? What if the next time I look at his face, he is gone forever and I never got to kiss him? And suddenly I realized how much I wanted to do exactly that. To see what it felt like. To maybe convey a little of how I feel about him without messing it all up with my usual blundering of words.
 
So… I did. I kissed Dominic.
 
It was probably a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. I’ve decided I won’t do it again. The asshole brought up the kiss TWICE in front of his family, on top of arguing with me all day. Mortifying.
 
…But. The kiss was… nice. (Why is it so hard to admit that to myself?)
 
And much about life right now is good. It’s nice to have Elinor and Nick and Dom on the same floor. I can quietly listen at their doors and make sure they’re not being, I don’t know, stolen away or possessed or poisoned. A few moments ago, I heard Dominic’s voice in his room and almost knocked the door down in a panic — but a weird peace fell over me. For some reason, maybe for the first time ever, I felt that he was okay. That we would all be okay.
 
I think I’ll still check on everyone one more time before I go to sleep, though. Just in case.
 
Dove