SESSION 3C: Unions, Unions Everywhere! by Marco | World Anvil

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Sun 26th Sep 2021 10:49

SESSION 3C: Unions, Unions Everywhere!

by Marco DeMarco

Hello, my lovely journal readers!
Today, we are unionizing Farmers. Only farmers. Farmers only!
We are going to talk to a Tabaxi and a Goblin! One of them is in a tavern, the other was hanging out at the town green. The tabaxi is named Eyes In The Forest, and is a fluffy white tabaxi man that was very nice to us. Alderleaf farm and lilo degray's farm are going to be the problem ones, because while the farmworkers want it, the farmers are trying to pressure them to oppose it; Eyes In The Forest also thinks that dude is shady af. And then Lilo hired some shady lady who is trying to strongarm people against the guild.
On the other hand, Oliver Farlight isn't in the co-op yet, and doesn't seem to want to? Lame??? Dude is just sort of dumb maybe? Thinks he's really smart, but he's kind of an idiot? Heard some stuff, you know. Our boy advises us to talk Kaidink more about that because Kaidink works at Alderleaf. Eyes thinks that Lilo doesn't want to lose control, and has shady vibes from that guy. Lilo's farm is mostly wheat and other stuff like that, whereas there is some shit going down at Alderleaf -- turns out that farm is run by a dumb-as-bricks guy who just loves rutabagas; he has planted THREE HUNDRED ACRES of rutabagas. Dogg, I love Rutabagas.
Then we went and ate lunch with Kaidink!! I gave her some of my homemade jerky to help make the conversation less bad. She is hoping that the guild initially accepts people outside of the co-op agreement so that it can help pressure Oliver. He planted 300 acres out-of-season and half of it has died. Nobody knows what he bartered for it!! And the half of the seeds that are growing are growing really weirdly and it is unclear what is going on with it. She gets there in the morning and the soil is weirdly wet; he's doing something weird at the end of the day. Oliver is an Earth Genasi that does not wear hats. He keeps saying he is communing with the Earth and he knows what to do. Ulo and Latrans get incredibly drunk, and we decide we're going to pop in overnight and see what the hell Oliver is doing.
So then we decide to go see Linene, who Eyes in the Forest says is ~ p r o b a b l y ~ kind of a narc.
We get there and she is demanding an armwrestling companion, so I immediately use "Hat Metal" to summon a metal hat to help out my friend. Turns out that -isn't- actually helpful. But like, whatever. Zinyra and Linene talk a really good game and then -immediately- eat shit, which would have been very funny if I was not extremely invested in my friend Zinyra's success! But it was OK, because Zinyra ended up winning, which meant Linene had to be honest with us! Apparently before this farm stuff she did a lot of odd jobs and shit, so that seems fine or whatever.
But! I had some intuition that she was lying. And after a lot of chaos (including her lying to us and Ulo drunkenly turning her into a sheep and me reverting her), she admits she was part of the Red Band Brigands in Phandolin that we mostly disbanded. We decided to bring her on for our impending heist of Garron Chao in exchange for her being terrible at her job as an informant/muscle for Lilo. Lilo has a second set of books in his office. He's definitely evading his taxes! Hell yeah. We debate trying to steal his books and instead decide to talk to the mayor.
We go to the mayor and tell the mayor about Lilo's books. She decides she wants to look into it, but isn't going to ask us to steal it ourselves. She also asks about Brillies and how she's handling the tough campaign against the crappy nationalist asshole. We answer that it's not great! It could be going better! Brillies is overwhelmed. She offers to help any way she can. We will remember this! Hope she doesn't lose, geez! :-(
So, at night, we find Oliver, who is spreading weird purple liquid over his Rutabagas. Guess what! They come to life!!!
So, after a few rounds of combat, I use the ring of the grammarian to try and control one of the giant Rutabaga. It doesn't work, but I cause a small swarm of baby sharp-toothed Rutabagas to join our crew. Pretty cool! This also involved getting the rutabagas to attack their parents. Feeling pretty bad about that! But you know. Stuff happens. Sometimes people die! Like me! Sometimes.
Anyway, I ended up casting a giant firestorm. We end up winning, but at what cost? (The cost is that we all got pretty beat up, and we ruin a whole crop of lovely rutabagas! Although I guess it's less that we ruined the crop and more that Oliver ruined the crop by being an absolute dipshit, I mean Jesus, what the fuck.)
So, we go to track Oliver down, and Latrans has a pretty good idea to turn into a bloodhound to track down Oliver. I start transforming, and like, THINGS GET INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP. As I transform into a bloodhound I start feeling the skin slough off of the creature, and I start bleeding out of every area of my newly formed flesh. Wings start shooting out of the back of my bloodhound, and the internal organs start melding together. The nails and pads of my feet exsanguinate and the nose calcifies and stretches into a long, cracked beak. And guess what! It hurts! Usually wild shape is a pretty painless process, and as you learn how to do it better and better, the changes become second nature and almost comfortable. But even when you're learning and you do your first transformation, it never hurts as much as that did; it felt like every muscle and nerve in my body was screaming and burning. I changed back to human form almost instantly, to kind of... stop being in serious pain?
I have absolutely no idea what got fucked up in my wildshape! Since I was resurrected, I've wild shaped all the fucking time. But, like, only into a vulture; I sleep in this little hovel on the roof of our house that I've decked out with all my favorite vulture stuff, like claw sharpeners and some of my favorite magic carrion fridges, and a smellbook with all my favorite smells. But I guess I haven't tried to turn into anything else yet? It could be that I'm just not able to turn into anything else anymore. I need to talk to Elysia. She's the one who taught me how to wild shape in the first place. She should know at least something about what the hell is going on here. I'm scared. Ever since I came back I've felt like everything's just off. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it just feels I'm so... different. What the hell's up with my head? I really have to talk with my therapist about this.
Anyway. Life's scary, readers! Marco out.
Love, Marco.

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