2-1-2020- I am a failure

I have utterly failed my patron and a beg your forgiveness. In our recent battle with the Goblin forces I fought bravely among the sides of the others to defeat these weird bird like creatures and even took down some of the vial goblins, but alas I did not get to taste of their meat. I WAS SO CLOSE. We had one of the stinky dullards in our clutches and had taken him hostage in the vial pipes they used to move their wastes. I could smell his sweat flesh over the putrid odors of the pipes and I attempted to cut off an ear to nibble, but the tunnel was too small and I could not reach around to snatch it without alerting the others as to what I was doing. I thought for sure I would have another attempt to cut a piece off of this sub-sentient hostage when we had them safely back at camp, but it was not to be.
 
When we arrived out the other end of the pipe again our adventuring buddies had abandoned us! And we were surrounded by succulent Goblins including some very meaty looking savages who were clearly stronger than the rest (I do wonder if the larger ones they call hobgoblins taste any different). At the time we thought the others had fled back into the woods, perhaps to the mountain pass, but later I found out they had attempted to breach the main castle instead. Oh patron, I was so foolish! If we had only known I would have perhaps had a chance to fulfill my craving and yours. I would have gladly fought aside them to claim a taste of the goblins we were slaying. Instead, we tried to battle our way past the ones who surrounded us and flee to where we thought our friends were. I must say, dear patron, this next part was particularly hard for me to talk about. We battle these goblins and one of them threw me in ...a net. AND i...i .it brought back a flood of memories. Of when i was very little.. too little to know of the harshness of this world. Of when they raided my village and there were goblins among the raiders. Of that I am most sure as I will never forget their haunting taunts as they captured us; their ill little jabs and sharp rudimentary language. They killed almost everyone i knew, I saw the fires and smelled the burning as we tried to flea, but they caught us anyway and took me and my brothers away to sell at the slavers market....it was the last time I remember seeing my brothers and I was too young, too young to even recall properly their faces now. It has been too many years. And I know these are not the same Goblins, I know I have more power, but something about being in that net, something about their hideous mockery.....i....i just can't mistress. Their kind has taken so much from me and all I ask in return is to devour them.
 
And So I failed. I thought. I thought I would be more helpful and find those stronger than me to save the others....but...but they had not left. and my mistake...I'm sure it almost cost us so much. I failed myself, I failed my fellow adventures, and most importantly I failed you. I lacked the power I needed to defeat them, to crush them, to tear them apart and sup the marrow from their bones. And so I pray to you dear patron, dearest unicorn of the most benevolence. I pray to you to grace me with the power I need. The power to face my past and to crush these horrid creatures. I beseech you, give me the strength to feast on these miserable cattle. Let me be your light and wipe away this goblin blight from these lands. I pray to you, do with me as you see fit.