12-20-2020-Goblins in the mines

Dear Journal,
 
I'm glad I have you to confide in as I have a terrible secret to confess that I must not speak to any living soul save for perhaps my beloved patron whose glimmering gaze would pierce my heart and see the truth of my shooken soul anyway. Today, while in the mines, we were clearing away those nasty goblins and I ...I was soo very hungry. We hadn't eaten all day and I had even made a delicious stew, but we had to drug it and use it as a trap on those damned goblins; so I didn't get to even taste it. And then, deep in the mines, I noticed something...different about one of the goblins. He wasn't quite like the others, this one was kind of plump in the right places with a much cleaner look about him than the others had. I dare say....I rather dread even to say....he looked....kind of.....succulent! I was immediately disgusted with myself and banished the thought as a mere trick of the brain caused by my hunger and the weariness of the battle in the mines.....
 
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....Until....Then, when the fighting was over and we scattered to search the goblin corpses to take their weird gold coins they store in their arms and any dwarven trinkets they might have stolen. Well..I couldn't stop myself. I was soo very very hungry and having already made a prime cut on the beasts arm to get his coin, I may have sliced off just the tiniest piece. I was so very careful not to let anyone else notice me do it. And I ....I tremble to say it, I put it in my mouth and tried of his flesh.
 
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....And much to my horror and against my own internal screaming....IT TASTED SO VERY GOOD!!! In the raw even, it tasted of a wonderful meatiness and had the right amount of grease and blood to produce a fine warming mouth feel like a savory thick gravy wine. As I gnashed it against my teeth the tiny morsel burst with such an exotic and refined flavor much like a delectable beef tartare from a cow whose entire life was raised in contentment and comfort. I am so very very ashamed. Why did it have to be so good?!?! Why or why could it not have just been a putrid foul taste the likes I would have expected; then my one time lapse into this damnable hunger of mine would have been short lived. But now....now I fear that I have tasted of their Goblin flesh I will only hunger for more. I must keep this a secret from the others, they must not know of my culinary perversion nor that I pocketed a few more chunks into my salt pouch to eat again later. Goddess help me, I fear that I will need to eat more of these beasts and, even more, given what I have seen I fear these are much smarter Goblins than the ones we have back home. I fear that means this terrible forbidden meat is more cleaver than an average animal and that makes what I do both much more horrifying to understand as well as a steady supply much more difficult to obtain.