Why Am I Here?

Our party gave out parting remarks towards the town of Good Mead, as we set out towards Easthaven, in search of some mysteries to solve. One mystery i keep coming back to is, "Why am I here?" Why did I choose to come to the gods forsaken land? It can only be to better myself. I need to prove to myself that I am capable of taking over my father's business once he retires, but how can I be certain that is what I want to do? Losing Z has still set me adrift. The only thing keeping me here is complete their journey.
 
I finally met another person, outside our Order, that follows the Platinum Savior. All I know about here is that her name may be Gwen. I broke into her home during a mission, and briefly spoke to her. I hope to go back at a more opportune and benevolent moment, and learn more of our mutual Patron. Maybe she can guide me more towards Bahamut's ways, and thusly the way I am destined for.
 
I still do not know the answer, but I will not give up. If not for my sake, but for the sake of Z and his compatriots. Maybe this gemstone from Z will help in some way, too. Only the Platinum Lord can tell. At this point I must improve upon my scouting skills (whether through stealth or knowledge of the flora and fauna), in order to better protect my adventuring compatriots. Maybe there I will find my way.
 
I truly miss my family at this time. I need to be stronger and better before I return to them. I cannot let what happened to Opal happen to any of my other sisters. As the oldest I should be able to protect my family and I have failed. I even failed to keep from being captures and almost sacrificed, but all of this has lead me towards my current path. The path leading to our Platinum Savior, Bahamut. I must gather the courage to move forward and not look back as He lights my way.