[Session 23] Funeral (AU)

[NB This is an unused snippet of what may have been said between Skirmishers had Robyn made it to Caine's funeral, written before confirmation that she didn't make it due to the subsequent adventure underground]
 
The funeral pyre was empty.
 
This wasn’t unheard of for Skirmishers - the job was perilous after all, and sometimes retrieving bodies just wasn’t possible. They did what they could, when it was safe. If it wasn’t safe, the dead weren’t worth the risk. Going out into the Wastes was dangerous; everyone knew this was a possible outcome.
 
That didn’t mean it was any easier to look at.
 
Caine’s dress blues were laid out on the rushes. That alone was almost enough to set Robyn crying again; he was always so well presented, proud of his appearance without being arrogant, and, for all his practicalities, he had a weakness for finery to treat himself. Burning this would outrage him, but that’s exactly what the Commander did, taking a torch to the rushes.
 
Robyn tilted her head back, her throat tight and eyes burning. This wasn’t fair. Caine deserved better. At the same time, perhaps this was a mercy. After all, it wasn’t often that a body would be returned with the mark of a sword instead of the mark of a fiend.
 
“He’d have hated all this.”
 
Robyn quickly swallowed the lump in her throat and willed away some of the tears to look up at Elyn. She was looking better - still a lot of healing left to do, and the scars would always be there, but she looked stronger than when they found her at least. She managed a wobbly smile, tears shining in her eyes. “What do you think he’d say? If he was here?”
 
Robyn took a moment, looking back at the pyre, and smiled softly. “‘You could have at least ironed them first.’”
 
Elyn snorted and quickly turned it into a cough as someone turned to glare at them. “You’re probably right,” she said, raising an arm to wave over Brennan, Nessa and Madoc, the latter leaning heavily on Nessa for support, not entirely willingly.
 
“We should have taken the wheelchair.”
 
“No fucking way!” Madoc snapped, earning him a few sharp shushes from some of the healers attending the service. He lowered his voice. “I’m standing for Caine. It’s the least we can do.”
 
Brennan looked somber, a strange expression for his usually cheeky face. He pulled a small knife from his pocket and gently flipped it in his hand. “Shall we?”
 
Robyn carefully braided a small section of her hair, the short side that was saved and regrown for this purpose. It had been a while since she had done this personally, so there was a decent sized braid for her to cut off, leaving a shorn tuft of hair that she could cover up with the rest of her hair. Madoc took a braid from his beard while the others took some of their hair to join the pyre.
 
They watched the pyre together for a while, until the service finished. Madoc and Elyn were eventually ushered away back to the infirmary by Nessa, leaving Brennan and Robyn to watch the pyre continue down to ashes.
 
“It isn’t your fault you know,” Brennan said eventually.
 
“I never said it was.”
 
“You don’t have to. You’ve had that look on your face since you found out.”
 
Robyn screwed her nose up stubbornly, but didn’t resist as Brennan looped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. In fact, she leaned into it, relaxing as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and rubbed gentle circles on her arm.
 
“I should never have left,” she said eventually, her voice cracking despite her pride.
 
“No.” Brennan was firm on that, giving her a squeeze to emphasise it. “We need you out there.”
 
“But I wasn’t there -”
 
“Let me finish - we need you out there. Not bound by orders or rules - something’s changing, we can all feel it, but none of us can do anything about it except wait. You can.”
 
Robyn huffed, frustrated. "Do what, Brennan? I'm literally making this up as I go."
 
He smirked. "Exactly. While the rest of us just follow orders. You'll figure it out, I know you will. Just know that you have more freedom than you think." He turned her to pull her close and give her a proper hug, holding her close and resting his face against her head. "Stay alive out there."
 
Robyn squeezed back just as tightly, her face in the crook of his neck. It had been too long, and she missed this more than she initially realised. "You too." She'd lost more family than she'd like already, and couldn't bear the thought of losing more.
 
Behind them, pyre gently burned out, ashes idly floating in the air, a sombre silence falling across the courtyard.